Stubborn Husband and a sleep study....

In My Humble Opinion
1

Hi folks, I am new here and was looking for some help for my husband. My husband is a pretty stocky guy, and he recently got a job offer with the railroad, contingent upon him passing some additional medical evaluations, since his BMI clocked in at over 35. He is being asked to go through a physical, some basic blood work, a Cardiac Risk Assessment, an Exercise Stress Test, and finally a Sleep Study, to check for Sleep Apnea.

My husband is fine taking everything but the sleep study. He said he had one in the past, prior to us getting together, in which he said he never slept the whole night, but that he was told he had sleep apnea, was prescribed the CPAP (said he got really good, expensive equipment), used it for one night, and said he woke up choking on his own blood, and now fully believes that sleep apnea, the CPAP, and any doctor who pushes this diagnosis, is lying and just trying to make money.

Now, I know several family members who’ve been diagnosed and use a CPAP and they swear by them, and tell me that his experience is NOT normal. However, he refuses to believe it. I’m very worried about him, as he does snore really badly most nights, and I know I’ve heard him completely stop breathing on more than one occasion, on more than just one night. I’ve even heard him do these things when he’s not sick or congested. He says he’s not tired and he doesn’t feel like he gets bad sleep, but I’m fairly certain its affecting him in other ways he just isn’t able to see or feel yet.

I just really want him to go into this test honestly, not try to “cheat” it, and if he needs CPAP therapy, that he actually uses it. Well, the railroad will make it a condition of his employment that he comply with treatment to keep the job, but I really worry about his health. Any and all suggestions to help him open up to this, would be greatly appreciated!

2

I have had multiple sleep studies and have used a CPAP for years. I never miss a night. Apnoea is no joke, but I have no idea what would persuade your husband.

3

NFL player Reggie White (43) died as a result. So did one of the guys from Deadliest Catch (33 years old). Jerry Garcia too.

4

The type of mask makes all the difference. Some can use one type while others use a different type. For me, nasal pillows alleviated the “choking” affect full masks gave me. GL

5

record him sleeping either sound or video. when he hears/sees the snoring or breathing blockage the he might accept it.

6

Choking on his own blood? How tight was that mask?

7

If he was choking on his own blood, there was another issue. I can’t imagine a CPAP system causing that.

8

Me neither.
What exactly was bleeding?

9

I have done this, and he’ll laugh it off or joke about it, and brush it off. He’ll try saying what he thinks are clever things like, “That’s not me, I don’t snore…” He’s in absolute denial, I believe.

10

Since this event happened before we started dating and got married, I honestly can’t say for sure, and can only go by what he told me, which he said it was fitted properly, and we used to live in Las Vegas, NV, which is a dry environment, but he said he had a humidifier type one, too. I really, honestly, think something was not fitted properly and/or the settings were not adjusted properly. He does not follow medical directions very well, and if I am not there to show/tell/watch him do anything medically, he will do things improperly or not at all.

11

He said he thought the blood was draining down the back of his throat from his nose. I really think he might not of been using the CPAP correctly, had a setting wrong, or some combination of things, led to him having a bad experience.

As much as this is going to make me sound bad, I am kind of hoping this sleep study that he has to do, shows him as having sleep apnea, since a lot of other things he has going on, like depression, low libido, and leg swelling, among a few others, he’s wanting to attribute to Low T (he has not been tested for this, but he swears that’s what’s wrong). I honestly, with his size, the snoring, my hearing him stop breathing several times during his sleep, couples with these other symptoms, believe he DOES in fact have apnea, and I really think he could benefit from treatment. So, if this test for the job shows him to have it, he would have no choice but to comply with treatment, since he would want to make sure he kept the job.

Thank you for all who’ve responded, very good information thus far, and I will be sharing with my husband later today, when he wakes up! :slight_smile:

12

He may have been choking on his own snot. Heaven knows I’ve had all the snot running down the back of my throat screw up my swallowing and sometimes my breathing. There are many CPAP threads here on the SDMB. If you do a google search for CPAP site:boards.straightdope.com you’ll find them. I’ve used a CPAP for years, and it made the difference between being functional and not. I felt much better after I started using it. Getting enough sleep and good quality sleep usually makes it easier to lose weight - bad sleep leads to hormone disruption that can cause weight gain. As far as your husband’s bad experience with CPAP, my experience was that the docs don’t just throw one at you, they have you do a second sleep study where they figure out what pressure you need to address the apnea. Proper mask fitting is key. There are a bunch of mask styles, sizes, and fit adjustments. The sleep practice my wife and I go to spend a lot of time on mask fitting. They have their patients cone in for a separate daytime mask fitting session. Because of that they get better results at lower pressures, and have higher patient compliance rates, than many practices. If you’re in the DC area I can send you their contact info - send me a private message.

One approach with your husband might be to tell him he needs to become a demanding, almost bad-ass patient. He doesn’t have to be rude, but he does need to insist that the mask be absolutely comfortable, as well as the pressures and humidity. He may need to adjust the humidity when he has the machine home. I have to fiddle with my humidity setting when the seasons change.

He may think the CPAP is BS, but he needs it for his job. That should convince most guys. It sounds like his experience was unusually bad, but he can demand the same level of customer service from his sleep doc that he expects from his car repair guy.

13

Also, there are machines that have two different pressure settings (“Bi-PAP”) or auto-adjust the pressure. My wife has that latter kind, because she had good reason to believe her sleep studies were not giving accurate results. Her auto-PAP helped her.

14

You don’t specify how long ago he acquired the equipment, but 15 years ago CPAP masks were large, obtrusive things that looked like fighter pilot breathing masks. Now most people can get by with a much less bulky mask, and often something that only obstructs the nostrils and not the mouth.

I don’t know how to resolve the stubbornness/disbelief problem. If all else fails, perhaps you can convince him that the problem is the “BMI over 35” part; losing weight can help with sleep apnea as well.

15

Asking someone to disregard their own personal experience and instead make a decision based on the experiences of others is a tall order. He does not want to repeat the action that resulted in waking up choking on blood. Since you did not wake up choking on blood, this is easy to disregard, but the fact that he won’t just shrug it off is perfectly reasonable.

16

CPAP technology has improved.

17

There is no way in hell he choked on blood due to a CPAP. But it’s possible that he had the humidity set too high and got water up his nose. I guess it’s even conceivable that he got a nosebleed. Did he actually see blood, or did he just assume that if there was liquid in his throat, it must be blood?

I’m not aware of any way to cheat a sleep study. I mean, there’s a person watching you on video all night. It’s possible to not use the CPAP after he gets it, but they have a recording unit on it that shows whether it is being used or not, and I’m sure the company will insist on compliance.

Good luck!

18

About a year ago I encouraged my husband to go in for a sleep study. He snored a lot and kept me awake, but I could also hear him stop breathing. He went in, more for me because I was spending a lot of nights on the couch. He got the CPAP and a mouthpiece - expected to use the mouthpiece and not the CPAP. The CPAP took a while to get used to - for a few weeks he didn’t use it every night, complained about it, went through several different masks (he ended up with something that just covers his nose) - and then suddenly - bingo - it came together - he found the right mask, got used to the admittedly weird feeling of having air forced down him and having to sleep attached to a tube, and started waking up feeling better.

He is on an international business trip - and packed the CPAP - not the mouthpiece. Even though I’m not with him and no one cares if he snores alone in a hotel room. And last week thanked me for making him get the study done.

Good luck. I agree with AnaMan though - he got freaked out - it isn’t likely anything you can say will change his mind.

19

My wife’s physician wanted her to get a sleep study done. We elected to purchase a recording pulse oximeter and had her wear it for several nights. Her O2 saturation levels never dropped below 95%. She printed the data and brought it to her doctor and she agreed to cancel the sleep study, so we got out of it for around 5% of the cost of a study. Maybe you could get one for your husband, and if he saw how low his O2 levels were going during the night he’d change his mind. Recording oximeters are pretty inexpensive.

20

I didn’t mean to make it sound like I was disregarding my husband’s past experience. I infact hadn’t really pushed the issue with him, until this job is requiring the sleep study, and if warranted, the CPAP treatment, in order for him to get and keep the job. He really wants this job, and the only reason he’s agreeing to the study is because he has to, to get the job.

I have no doubt that his experience freaked him out and he’s gun shy about jumping in the saddle again. He’s not been one to think about his health, or go out of his way to see a doctor, as he’s pretty darn healthy given his age, size, etc. He recently turned 40, and is finally starting to shake the “I’m going to live forever and nothing can hurt or harm me” mentality that we have when we’re young. I really want to make it clear that I just want what’s best for him, since I want him around to annoy me for years to come! :slight_smile: