We have an honor system and a J-Board - (student judiciary committee)
I never had a student bring a lawyer, but I had some nasty emails sent to my attention from angry parents. Maybe if their kid did a few less bong hits before a test they would be ok.
For the OP - the American Euro-Trash - who wore shoes more expensive than my laptop and had that “oh so froideur attitude.”
Well, if you are so kingly, why do you still get C- on weekly tests…Especially when I give you easy to read study guides!
I wanted to kick this type of kid in the head every single time I encountered them. Why? Because I’d like to learn what’s going on, or, if I comprehend the material, I’d like to get through it all within the required time period. In some of my classes, I was the Sharp as a Tack student; I do realize I’ve pissed off quite a few people in my classes by not only knowing the material, but being able to analyze it and argue issues within the material without having it in front of me. This wasn’t the case with all the classes.
A cousin of “Is This Going to Be on the Exam” and “The Witnesser” are the “But my [parochial school of choice] taught…” students in religion classes. Generally they only take the more mainstream religion classes that’ll touch on Christianity fairly heavily. Many times, they will ask things like “I have a [insert non-Oxford Annotated version] bible; can I use that instead?” when the bible is assigned as a textbook without realizing that there’s a reason the class is using one form of the scriptures over another. Other times, when the subject turns to Christianity or another sect that they may be familiar with via their parochial school teachings, they’ll pipe up with contradictory information that starts with the phrase “But my school/church taught me [this bit of information]!” as if it’s a valid argument in a class teaching basic doctrinal theory. They’re also the students who will reel in horror at most mentions of other religions and religious practices than their own; “but it’s so weird and WRONG!” seems to be the default reaction to anything different. A lot of these kids don’t make it through more than one religion class without giving up on the idea of being a religion major.
Because competence isn’t funny.
These days you can contact student services and get some assistance with note taking. I was a note taker for someone one semester and when I missed a day he gave me a copy of his notes. They looked rather complete to me so I asked him, first time I ever asked him anything about having a note taker because it wasn’t really my business, and he said that he couldn’t discern what was important to write down and what wasn’t and he couldn’t concentrate on the lecture and writing it down at the same time.
If you have a legitimate problem you shouldn’t be lumped in with other students who don’t. Though, I suppose, how can one know just by observing the student in class?
Marc
No, but I think focusing too much on the negative can do some harm. It’s easy to forget that there are plenty of good instructors and students and when that happens I think people get cynical.
Marc
Helen/Howard How-the-Hell-are-you-here: You generally won’t run into these types until you’re at least a junior or senior in undergrad; though they can pop up in lower-level stuff in some circumstances. These are the people that ask questions that are SO dumb, you’re stuck wondering how someone in who is a senior/Master’s Student/PhD Candidate is asking that question. Now, I’m generally a believer in the idea that “the only stupid question is the one you don’t ask” approach to being a student, but these people just take it too far.
For instance, one of my classes this semester is a Computer Science PhD student ONLY course covering statistical modelling and experimental design. This class is designed to be one of the last classes taken before embarking on your original research toward your disertation. I can understand people being a little rough around the edges on statistics, as I was only required to take one STAT course as an undergrad, and some schools don’t require STAT at all for CS majors (which is dumb in my opinion, but I digress). Still, I expect that any competent Computer Science PhD student can do basic algebra. One student actually asked this question via e-mail on Friday:
As I was reading, I thought it was at least going to be a STAT refresher question like “How do I use this (1-ALPHA/2) to calculate the Z value?” or something simple but forgivable like that. But seriously, if ALPHA is 0.10, then isn’t it patently obvious that (1-ALPHA/2) is 0.95 and if ALPHA is 0.05 that (1-ALPHA/2) is 0.975? Can you at least detect a pattern in the answers you’re getting? It took a lot of restraint to give a response that wasn’t blatantly condescending.
Apparently, as in this case, some of these folks realize they don’t belong in the class/program, and are too embarassed to ask these questions to the professor, so they pick out the smart and/or nice people, and spread out their dumb questions amoung them so that they don’t appear AS dumb as they actually are. I only just figured this aspect out as I read the e-mail while in a study session with other people to whom she had sent different (but equally dumb) questions. Not surprisingly at all, these people often also fall into the next category.
Mark/Mary The Mooch: As the name implies, these are the student who are completely unable and/or unwilling to do the work required for the course. In groups, these are the people who pick the easiest tasks, only what they’re explicitly instructed how to do by other group members who actually understand (and could probably get done themselves faster than they can explain it to them), or just sit back and let other members do the work and hope their lack of contribution doesn’t get noticed. Sometimes, they’re aware that they’re over their heads and are willing to do all the menial work no one else wants to do (eg, write the paper, do the presentation, etc.). Sometimes they’re not aware, and someone else in the group has to fix or completely redo everything.
At least when they’re in a group, they don’t bother me so much, because they’re really only hurting themselves by not being able to do the work. What really bothers me is when they’re doing individual work, like a solo-project or take-home exam, and start buggering to do it in a “study” group, and end up not contributing there, or even blatantly just asking for the answers or code imply that they only want to “verify their answers/results”.
Terry/Terri the Eternally Tardy: Granted, its not unknown for me to show up 10 or 15 minutes late to a few lectures during a semester; I’ve even shown up 45 minutes or more late a couple times due to emergencies, or traffic jams. I’m not talking about people like me; I’m talking about the people who consistently show up an hour into the lecture; where the most punctual they’ve been all semester is ONLY 30 minutes late.
Not only are they obscenely late (even by my generally not-so-punctual standards), but their entrances are obnoxious too. They burst into the room, bumbling their backpack, suitcase, laptop, papers, folders, books, umbrella, and packed lunch. It takes them at least five minutes to take off their sun glasses, coat, gloves, scarf, jacket, hat, ski-mask, and golashes and then another five minutes while they sort through their notes, printouts, slides, homework, project, etc.
Worst of all, as if we all have the memory retention of a fish, after sitting still for thirty seconds, these people–often being related to Howard/Helen HTHAYH–engage in asking stupid questions and/or questions that would have been answered if they had showed up just a little bit earlier.
Finally, last but not least:
Stephen/Stephanie The Super Geek: These people are closely related to Johnny (from the OP), but they’re not just out to prove they’re better, they’re out to prove everyone else is worse too. These are the types of people who, in an ENGL 100 class where no one is an English major and hates writing research papers, responds to the assignment “Write five pages on…?” with the question “Is there a maximum number of pages?” and after being given an arbitrary maximum ask “Is there a minimum font/margin size?”. As if writing a really long paper will necessarily make them look THAT much better or guarantee them a better grade. And yes, to pre-empt the people defending similar questions, I understand that for some disciplines, meeting a maximum number of pages can be as hard or harder than meeting a minimum; this example doesn’t apply to your field.
These are the same people who, for a programming class, don’t just do the assignment, they do a bunch of obnoxious extras like doing an obnoxious GUI for a simple project or, if they don’t know how to do a GUI, even more obnoxious ASCII art intro’s saying menial stuff like “Stephen’s Super Scorer for Bowling” for a program where you just enter the pins knocked down in each frame and it calculates the score for the frame.
If that wasn’t bad enough, these people are even worse in classes. When a student asks a question, if he knows the answer, he blurts it out in the most condescending way possible, all the while looking at the questioner like he’s a retard, and then looks at the professor like a dog who just brought a half-eaten roadkill possum to his master.
And that’s not all, he LIVES for the moments he can correct the professor, or add some of his vast array of knowledge and experience to the topic being discussed. He’s always the first to point out when a professor has misspelled a word, even when everyone in the class knows what the word is supposed to be because he just said the word outloud as he was writting it. He’s also the first to point out minor arithmetic mistakes: “…and the answer is -12.46, thus we can safely ignore this result since it’s less than zero…” “You forgot to carry the 1, the answer is actually -13.46!” Professor rolls his eyes, corrects the mistake, and continues. In programming classes, he’ll point out every time he forgets a semi-colon or incorrectly capitalizes certain symbols.
Fortunately, when he actually challenges the professor on actual point, he’s almost always wrong or at least completely out of touch with the purpose of the class: “Today [in art class] we’re studying the color wheel… Black is the presence of all colors, white is the absence.” “You’re wrong professor, according to the laws of physics, white light is the presence of all colors, black is the absence of all light.” “No, we’re studying pigments, I was correct; try mixing a bunch of different color paints together and tell me if you get black or white.”
The Beggar
Usually an upperclassman, most often a senior. Does poorly on graded work throughout the semester, often blowing off some assignments completely, not turning them in at all. Shows up in the professor’s office during exam week, uttering phrases like:
– “But I neeeed to pass this class to graduate!”
– “Is there anything I can do to pass the course? Could you give me something to do for extra credit?”
– “Can’t you just give me a C-? My whole family is in town to see me walk at graduation!”
The professor who wrote the “Listen, it’s nothing diabolical” rant has some good names for certain kinds of students.
I should clarify: It’s the post called “Listen, it’s nothing diabolical.” However, the other posts in that blog are great as well, now that he’s got people ranting again.
This one reminded me of…
Willie/Wendy Worker: This one loves group projects. You see, Willie/Wendy is so busy working at a part-time job that he or she has little to no time for any school assignments. A group project is a great way for him or her to get grades without actually doing anything. Any time a group member asks Willie/Wendy about his or her contribution, the answer is always the same: “I didn’t get it done; I had to work.” And what about tomorrow or next week? Could you do it then? “No, I have to work.” Well, you know the assignment is due in two weeks. Will you get to it before then? “Can’t; it’s our busy time at work, and I’m working extra hours.” And so on. I have no idea how this one deals with solo schoolwork. All I know is that I’ve had to pick up the slack for a few of these types, and I’m getting pretty darn tired of it.
Note that I am well aware that some students have to work while they are students. Many, if not most, that I’ve met and worked with somehow manage to balance both work and school pretty well–they contribute in class and actively participate in group projects, and those I have no problem with. It’s the ones who constantly use their job as an excuse not to do schoolwork, leaving my groupmates and I to do it for them, that bother me.
There is the other group member:
Pat Puck-Hog: (This is me, though I hate it). Pat can’t stand to lose control. Pat has a high gradepoint average and Willie/Wendy and the other mouthbreathers in the group aren’t going to risk it. Pat functionally does the project solo - even if there are well intentioned project members willing to take on tasks. Other members of the group learn nothing from the project working with Pat. Often, Pat really doesn’t need to put forth a lot of effort for the A - so where Willie needs to spend five hours he claims are unavailable to him researching in the library (if he can even figure out that’s where he needs to start), Pat pulls a book or two off the shelf at home and calls up an old boss for a personal interview and has the work done in an hour.
(I usually ask to do all group projects solo on the first night of class, explaining that I’m Pat, and if I had time in my life I’d be happy to both do and teach - but I don’t have time to teach and re-work or work the first time when something doesn’t get done on deadline. Moreover, I work a full time job, go to school half time, have two kids - in a group, I’m the one asking if people wouldn’t mind a dial in meeting at 11pm - I’ll provide the web conference account and teleconference code.)
Someone had a lovely pit rant a few months back on group projects. I maintain that in any group of five there is one puckhog, one slacker, one person that is just incompetent and this is the only thing on the syllabus that might enable him to pass, and wants group sessions to turn into personal tutoring time, and two people who are perfectly normal, capable students who will turn in competent work on deadline - if the puckhog lets them.
Nancy/Nathan Noisemaker:
This student is legion. These are the ones who click pens, tap pencils, crumple paper, rip open bags of snacks (there is already a Pit thread about eating in class), whisper or murmur, mess around with their backpacks, let the door slam shut, and so on. It is a constant stream of noise, and they have no idea how rude it is, nor do they care. I’ve had to learn to deal only with the worst offenders and let the rest go. I cannot make the classroom as quiet as I would like, so I just have to shut some things out.
Calvin/Cathy Cater to and Coddle Me:
Ah yes, the children of the Helicopter Parents. The It’s All About Me Generation. They don’t like any of the rules or regulations or pesky policies that just happen to be a part of college life. And maybe the prof doesn’t like all of them either but is duty-bound to follow them–not that this matters to Calvin or Cathy, since Everything Can Be Negotiated, just as it always was.
They get into a snit if you tell them not to traipse in 45 minutes late, that unexcused absences are part of the reason they’re failing, that you won’t spend two hours going over their whole paper via email just because they couldn’t be arsed to bring it into class when it was due, or to see you when you are on campus; and that you will not explain the ins and outs of the library orientation to them just because they decided to take off to the beach instead of attend the actual librarian-given orientation.
Sandy Sleepsalot
This student snoozes through half the class, then wakes up not knowing what’s going on, what’s due next time, or anything else. ( I have one of these in a class this semester. He keeps doing the wrong exercises and asking dumb questions that had already been addressed an hour earlier.)
Ah, you took one of mine. I would like to add in the quality of not only coming in to class with 15 minutes, but also forgetting the **ONLY ** textbook that is needed in the class and then not understanding why everyone is pissed off that he bothered to come in at all. :rolleyes:
I would like to add Meghan Does Not Pull Her Share:
We’ve all had to work with a person like this at least in one point in our lives. You’re randomly paired up with her, she was the absent one and your group was the smallest, god hates you, etc. Even before she opens her mouth, you know it’s going to be something to the effect of “Guys I totally did not read the required reading/ study what we were supposed to/ look up the information you told me to, so I wanted to say sorry in advance!” In her twisted little mind, the half assed apology is supposed to make up for it all. Hey, you may have burned half the night away studying what you were supposed to but she, like, burned a couple of calories as the few remaining brain cells she hasn’t partied away yet struggled to come up with that heartfelt apology.
Always followed up by “So what are we supposed to be talking about?”
For a good stereotype, I would like to submit Molly Saves Their Asses:
She’s the total opposite of Meghan. She comes prepared with extra notes and extra information in case somebody slacks (she’s obviously had this happened to her before). She’s willing to organize the meetings, study groups, and carry the extra weight without complaint. It’s not that she jumps up at the opportunity out of doing this, but sees it as a necessary evil. Sometimes she arranges study groups, even if people are too lazy to come. She rarely, if ever, confronts Meghan because she knows that Meghan is using all of her brainpower just to be able to chew solid foods; lecturing her won’t change anything.
Eventually people start to rely on her to save their butts too much and she goes crazy down the road.