students confront teacher who they think is boozing up her coffee during class

this story is cute but did lead me (and others) to wonder how ghetto the neighborhood is when the 3rd-grade kids know what a booze bottle pretty much looks like

I think by 3rd grade kids know not to touch the daddy sodas (beer) or the liquor bottles. My dad used to host cocktail parties a few times a year and I’m sure by third grade I knew what not touch.

This is what she had.
I don’t think you have to live in any definition of a ghetto neighborhood for an 8 year old to think that’s beer.

The “haha-totally-innocent”-ness of the story is completely undone by the last paragraph

Fuck her.

Someone who teaches third grade should KNOW better, dammit! Bottles of flavoring look like booze. Who knows, she could have dumped out the flavoring and filled the bottle with scotch.

Drink your flavored shit at home, Lady.

And major, major praise for smart kids stepping up.

How dare she make an obvious joke on Facebook.

I’d expect most 3rd-graders to recognise a typical bottle of booze. Even if none of your family ever drinks around you, they turn up on TV. The syrup looks like one. Though if they really said “beer” rather than whiskey they’re really quite innocent.

You don’t actually think she was drinking booze, surely? She wasn’t actually “confronted.”

Yeah, the “ghetto” comment makes no sense to me unless the OP grew up with in a tee-totaling family. My kids are 5 and 3 and they know what beer looks like. Hell, when I was 4 I wouldn’t let my dad open his can of Old Style without promising me a sip first. Liquor cabinets were a thing for almost every family I knew growing up, and I sure as hell knew at 8 what booze was, where it was, and not to drink it (and I didn’t. My folks never had a locked cabinet, but I knew better.)

I’m actually surprised that the kids thought it was beer of all things. A bottle like that, and they should at least assume whiskey or something hard like that.

By the time I’d reached 3rd grade (over 6 decades ago) I knew that beer didn’t live exclusively in the quart bottles that Dad and Granddad poured from - because, prior to Lady Bird Johnson’s anti-litter campaign, roadsides in and beyond suburbia were littered with 12-ounce bottles and cans as well as hip-pocket whiskey bottles. Discarded soda bottles were eagerly salvaged for the deposit refund but empty booze containers were worthless, as we kids knew.

The kids weren’t totally wrong. FDA requires a minimum of 35% alcohol in Vanilla extract.

Don’t know if the teacher’s syrup contains real vanilla extract. Even if it did… it would be a negligible amount of alcohol. I doubt there’s more than a teaspoon of vanilla in that entire bottle of syrup.

Of course eight-year-olds know what beer bottles look like. Even if their parents don’t drink, they see beer bottles on TV ads and shows.

And the teacher was joking in that last line. I think most people got that.

And if people aren’t particularly perceptive, then there was this helpful comment immediately before the “offending” line in the article

Well, you’re from Milwaukee and you oughta know!

[/age determination test]

Did you see the pic of the bottle in the article? It doesn’t look anything like booze, unless you’re an eight year old.

And “she could have dumped it out and filled it with scotch” applies to literally any sort of beverage container.

That story made me think of this.

Not the tweet, the image in the tweet.

Yeah, I had a coworker who often would have cranberry juice to drink, it was at least half vodka.

Big congrats to this school system. The third-graders know what booze looks like, and they can’t read. But hey, at least they aren’t snitches.

Okay, I’m probably being a little harsh here. Even if they did read “vanilla almond syrup” they might have thought, I don’t know, it was some new kind of booze. There are a lot of mysteries when you’re eight. Still…syrup? Come on.

Yeah, I was just responding to the one person who didn’t seem to get it.

As a teacher I did once have students come up and ask me, giggling, why I was drinking beer in class. It was gingerbeer. :smack: (There are alcoholic versions, but that goes for most drinks).

Used to date a guy who would order a soda from McDonalds or a convenience store, drink off a few good gulps and top it off from a bottle of vodka - he could drink it in his car or at sports events right in front of police and they wouldn’t even notice it had been spiked. You can add vodka to anything, really - clear and reasonably odorless [unlike tequila or gin]

Often wondered what happened to him after college. I figure he probably ended up working for a lawn and garden crew or something equally brainless.

Vodka still reeks on one’s breath. I remember hearing once that winos would drink gin because supposedly you couldn’t smell that on your breath. Yeah, wrong. It’s alcohol. If it’ll register on a breathalyzer, you can smell it, and this is coming from someone who is a pretty steady drinker.