Stuff I wish I hadn't overheard in the men's room

So there was a guy two stalls down suffering from a truly epic case of constipation, based on the grunting and effortful noises. After one especially heartrending groan, I heard him mutter to himself “I gotta get back to the gym.”

Uh, are there workout machines now to develop that particular set of muscles? :confused::eek:

As a personal observation, I find that any yard work I perform that involves twisting and bending seems to stimulate a bowel movement. Just sayin.

I find this true, as well. Moving = movement.

Huh, and I thought the reason people’s yards smell funky in the springtime was because of the mulch. :dubious:

Maybe “Jim” is his proctologist?

Who does number 2 work for?

Dr. Evil?

Not mulch, compost! :slight_smile:

One day I was in the grocery store and had to pee, so I went into the men’s room. This isn’t a big store; the restroom has one urinal and one toilet in a separate stall. The urinal was my #1 choice.

As I stood there, another guy came into the room and entered the stall to do his business. Suddenly I hear his cellphone ringtone (I am guessing) go off, at full volume and in the actual voice:


Fortunately I was in the shaking stage of my endeavor, so my laughter didn’t cause too much overspill.

As I left I said “Well… that was disturbing!”. He laughed too.

Still have no idea what the guy looked like. Maybe he actually was a Dalek?

Maybe the groaning you heard was his attempt of getting up off the seat?

I just hope this guy remembers gym etiquette and wipes down with a towel after he’s done.

Perhaps all that time bent over made it abundantly clear how large and obtrusive his gut was getting.

As someone with a gut, I have noticed the difficulty doing things like tieing my shoes. I can’t breathe when bent over that way because the large lump of stuff in the way.

Well, THAT could certainly loosen sphincters…