This has happened to me so often since I moved to answering the phones at work that I no longer think this is unrealistic.
WE’VE ALL BEEN DUPED! PEOPLE DON’T SAY GOODBYE! THOSE THAT DO ARE WASTING PRECIOUS SECONDS OF THEIR LIVES! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I was going to mention the teeth thing, but I’ll also add shaved legs and armpits. I know realistically nobody (including me) wants to see that, but…
(Side about the teeth: in Shakespeare in Love, doesn’t Viola have some sort of toothbrush thing and a cup in one scene? She’s mooning over Will by the window, brushing her teeth, and the nurse makes her spit as she listens to her. How common was that in Renaissance times?)
Also, completely unrelated, the thinking that fat suits = rolling-in-the-aisles laughter (see: Norbit, the upcoming Good Luck Chuck).
NoClueBoy, that reminds me of another cliche’ that wore out its usefulness in the 60’s or earlier, whenever it was that F/X overtook acting as a reason to see a movie. It has to do with the “ominous close-up” just before something evil is about to happen.
-
Rather than just have the mobster, the politician, the unfaithful husband, or the ice cream man just get in a car and have it blow up and splatter the occupant(s) over a block or two, we have to see the car keys and the turning of the ignition before we can zoom back and see enough explosives to take out a battleship flood the sky with body parts.
-
Somebody is walking (or running) through the dense woods with the sense of dread being enhanced by spooky music or, even better, by silence, and the look on his or her face indicates that it’s time for a bowel movement but he or she doesn’t have time for that and must keep pursuing (or trying to escape) whatever force or entity is involved. The camera shifts from shots from behind as the person rounds treacherous bends, avoids pitfalls, stays out of the way of falling limbs or boulders to shots from ahead so we can see that this person is on the verge of a heart attack, a stroke, or at least a nervous breakdown. This continues long enough for the audience to catch up with the blood pressure reading of the person in the woods. Then we have a change of perspective from a new angle that’s a close-up of a hiding place where whatever critter or bad person is about to leap out and grab the one we’ve been watching so long. We don’t see the bad thing until the shocking moment, but we get to see the “ominous close-up” so we can be braced for the shock.
-
The haunted house, or the cave or the scary place where some barely clad young female is wandering around trying to find whatever it was that woke her up by making a noise. Alternating shots of breasts and spider webs and cats jumping out from behind things and other red herrings abound until it’s time for the “ominous close-up” just before some ghastly entity announces its presence and eats the girl.
Road trip was on TV last night, and it just dawned on me how stupid it was for all four of them to get them in the car when they tried to jump the bridge. Wouldn’t they have had a better chance without 450 extra pounds?
One thing that’s been bugging me lately and I notice more and more is this scene set up:
Character A and Character B are having a Deep Discussiontm. B turns their back on A at a certain point, facing the camera. A responds to what B just said, but B keeps facing the camera. Usually A is standing several feet behind B and the conversation continues…how can A hear what B is saying!!!? 
I also continually notice computer screens beeping and it does bug me. Also I love how when they do a search of whatever database to find a criminal, simply typing their name in brings up all the info they are looking for on the first try, complete with cool graphics and sound effects.
Any cig smoking in a movie bugs me. Especially the gratuitous stuff sponsored by Big Tobacco.
It’s called Enhanced Landline Caller ID. All cellphone providers send a signal that includes the name of the account holder, however not all landline providers have upgraded their caller ID such that the cellphone users name shows up on their landline caller ID box. Additionally, some landline providers have upgraded, but might not provide the service to all their customers unless they pony up–so one person might get the full ID signal but their neighbor (with the same LL provider) does not. This was a MAJOR source of bitching from customers during my tenure as a TMobile call center rep. For some reason it’s the mobile provider’s fault that the landline doesn’t show the caller ID correctly, according to mobile customers… :rolleyes:
Hope this helps…
Thanks for the explanation. It *is * HBO’s fault for not clarifying the above in the storyline when this happened, thus preventing my (and others who mentioned it at the time) consternation. 
Zeldar: Yes! That’s precisely what makes the starting scene of Children of Men so bloody effective. There’s no pre-warning of the explosion at all; all you’re seeing is the main character standing outide and a few meters away from the coffee shop and pouring alcohol into his coffee, and what you’re thinking is that this is just exposition for his alcoholism and then, completely out of the blue, BOOM.
Similarly, a movie or television character has a major illness or injury and is in the hospital. The only people we see are the co-workers, even when the person is in the ICU (which is generally restricted only to close family members).
Also, it’s very common for television show characters to spend Thanksgiving or Christmas with their co-workers, and no one I know ever did that, preferring instead to spend the holidays with family or friends.
But he wanted her to provide the information about the GM suspensions. She was pissed off at him earlier because he refused her attempts to assist him, so this was his way of letting her provide assistance and no longer be angry at him. Also, perhaps he might not have been able to get the same information out of the state’s expert witness without resorting to leading questions.
I just thought of another one. Hub watches a lot of Action/Adventure films. I can’t tell you how many times a group of men stand around as each of them get their ass kicked one. man. at. a time. Is there some kind of Bad Guy Creed[sup]TM[/sup] that prohibits them from ganging up on Arnold/Sly/Steven/etc.?
Yeah, bugs the hell out of me, too. Even a badly coordinated mob knows to gang up on a lone person, even if the ensuing fight scene might result in a lot of cross-injuries. You’d think a well-trained group of minions would know how to work together in a way that minimizes friendly fire, and the hero would look all that more badass if he had to fight off multiple people at the same time.
I’d understand the need for a more limited engagement pattern in a mass swordfight, since accidentally stabbing your partner is a lot worse than accidentally elbowing him in the face.
For truly mind-bending examples of this questionable bad guy strategy, look no further than your average Jackie Chan movie.
In The Return of the King Faramir captures Frodo, Sam and Gollum and sets off for Minas Tirith. But when he gets to Osgiliath he has change of heart and decides to let them continue on to Mordor. He’s even nice enough to show them a secret route under the river through “the old sewers”.
Huh? The old sewers run **under ** the river?! Then what do they drain into? Is there a **second ** river down there somewhere? Or some massive secret cavern that served as Osgiliath’s cesspool? It’s a silly, stupid mistake that’s the result of not thinking through the differences bewteen pre-industrial and modern sewage systems … .
“Right. Those are your orders. See that they’re carried out.”
“Yes, sir.” heads for the door
“Lieutenant?”
Lieutenant turns around.
Pause.
“Be careful out there.”
THIS. NEVER. HAPPENS. Except in the context of:
“Ok, I’m off to the store.”
“All right… honey?”
“Yes?”
“Can you get me some milk?”
Nothing dramatic is ever really said in The Pause.
Funny, to me that’s the only thing that redeems the plot. It’s made clear that Vinnie’s case isn’t going well until that point. As impressive as the tire-tracks reasoning sounds, it would still be hard to believe that this would sway the jury in and of itself. It wouldn’t be enough to establish reasonable doubt in the face of all the evidence against the defendants. Finding the real murderers makes it an ironclad case and makes it seem reasonable that the prosecution would drop their case. It always bugs me when a case is made entirely on some esoteric technical evidence, as was always the case on Columbo. In real life, it would be a crapshoot to get a jury to accept such things.
The thing that bugged me in the latest Die Hard, and other computer geek scenes, is that the computer geeks seem to type really fast but the actors seem to just slap their fingers super-quickly at the keyboard. Either actually learn the motion of typing, or shoot the actor from somewhere that obscures how silly it looks.
The only one that can be given a pass is Cheers, since this allowed the classic Thanksgiving food fight scene! you tube
Two in particular: the ambush (at the finale of BOBBIE AND CLYDE): I know the director wanted to focus on the couple’s violent end, but could anybody even move, after being turned into swiss cheese?
Ditto for the hit on Sonny (in the GODFATHER): Sonny is hit by at least 7 bullets, yet manages to open the door and get out of the car. Surprisingly verry little blood-wouln’t Thompson Sub-Machine Gun rounds have torn Sonny apart? Of course, that would have made Mr. Bonasera’s job hard!
In Cheers it was plausible since the bar regulars were each others best friends. But in some random sitcom or drama set in an office, you see the characters spending Thanksgiving or Christmas with their co-workers, usually including ones they dislike the rest of the year. (Sometimes the writers explain it by having someone’s flight get cancelled, so they’re unable to fly off to see their family. But it’s still pathetic.)
Two things that bug me about Law & Order, as a layman (I don’t know how real court proceedings go):
-
Guilty people are always as cool as a cucumber. Everyone, from the gangster kid to the surprisingly evil housewife to the crooked businessman is VERY good at lying to the police. Not only are their stories really well thought out, but their delivery is completely believable. I think I’m a good liar, but if I just killed someone I think I’d be a little more nervous than all of these suspects on TV.
-
Everyone knows everyone else’s last names and addresses, right off the top of their heads. Maybe in NYC it’s more important to know addresses (if you’re taking a taxi?) but except for my parents I could NOT tell you the exact address of anyone I know. Not my best friends, not even my brother. I could tell you the street name and the city (in most cases) but not the exact address. And I also tend not to know the last names of my drug dealer, friend’s girlfriends or uncle’s skeevy attorney.