Reading the replies to my pit thread about biting the inside of my lip, whilst watching Deerhunter on another computer I got to thinking…
You never see people in films biting the inside of their lips.
You never see them sneezing, or coughing, or scratching their nose. Stuff like that (unless it’s part of the plot)
What stuff do we do in life that you never see people do in films??
Like… pay for things they buy for instance… people never pay!
A few years ago, I would have said that you never see anyone peeing or farting . . .
Off the top of my head, I can’t recall anytime anyone actually said “Goodbye” on the telephone before hanging up. Always seemed a bit rude.
Hunting for a parking space (unless it’s part of a gag).
On the other hand… can anyone think of examples where people have done that type of thing? and it’s not been for the plot.
Has Robert De-Niro ever tried to fish his underpants out from his bum crack?
The only time people do that stuff when it’s not a plot point is in a comedy of some kind.
One thing that drives me nuts - they don’t close
the freakin’ door! I hate seeing someone come in to a house or apartment and just leave the damn door hanging open, and it seems like they do that in half the movies I see anymore.
How often do you see someone locking their car door?
You never see people talking about TV.
Except in Tarentino and Kevin Smith films.
They never catch cold or accidentally cut themselves or stub their toes or any other of the minutiae that afflict our real lives - unless it’s part of the plot, of course. And they never fart during sex.
And when a cop or detective is interrogating someone, and wants him to write down someone’s name/address/phone number, you never hear “Gee, I don’t know that off the top of my head, I’ll have to look it up.”
They never pay the cabbie. Or the tab, if they’re in a bar, ordering drinks. You might see a character pay cash drink-for-drink, but nobody ever calls a bartender over to settle the tab.
I’m not sure how strict the law is about seatbelts in your average film setting but I don’t think people ever bother putting their seatbelts on.
And their cigarrettes light first time, Every time.
And they never ever EVER recieve change! They just toss a handfull of coins on the counter and walk away. (if they pay at all that is)
In A Clockwork Orange, there’s a shot of Alex going to the bathroom. And he’s eating a sandwich while doing so. I’m not sure if that’s very wise, but neither is participating in ultra-violence.
Looking up a phone number.
I was strying to think of a steven seagal one before… And I just thought of one from Under Siege 2.
He gets shot with a high-powered sniper rifle. That would have blown his friggin arm off! but no, he carries on kicking ass as if it was a mere scratch. People in films don’t injure easilly!
Yawning. Zoning-out-staring. Picking their nose. Blowing their nose. Having allergies. Having their period.
Back in the 70s on TV, it was common for people to get out of cars and leave the lights on. Even though when they came back to the car and the lights were off, the battery was never dead (and this was before “auto-off” lights became common). You also rarely see people struggle to remember a name.
The first time I remember a woman character actually peeing (or acting like she was) was in the '70s comedy Fun with Dick and Jane starring Jane Fonda and George Segal. I know that Terrence Hill does pee in the western My Name is Nobody it a rather funny bit when he steals a locomotive and I vaguely remember it in Once Upon a Time in the Old West but I am not sure.
I would be willing to bet there is a website dealing with just this.
Although, in St Elmo’s Fire, Ally Sheedy burns herself when hot oil splashes up while cooking stir fry.
This happens a lot actually. Think of all the scenes with people in phone booths looking up a number.
One specific scene that comes to mind is when The Terminator looks up names in the phone book to find all of the Sarah Connors that are listed so he can start knocking them off.