Nothing that I must feed, dust or water … seriously. I like consumable gifts that don’t add to the clutter - if you know me, you know this already. Please don’t think that trinket you picked up at the dollar store is the exception to the rule - it’s not.
I DO NOT NEED ANOTHER WALLET. Really, I don’t go through them that often. One per year for the last 6 years make a total of 6 that I still don’t need. If you MUST buy me one, buy a really cool one like an alligator wallet (very expensive) or something like that.
Bath salts or other smelly things…the gift that says, “I feel obligated to get you something.” I have no sense of smell, so I won’t use perfume because I don’t know what it smells like, or if I’m putting on too much.
Jewelry. I had to be talked into wearing a wedding ring! Jewelry is pretty, but it gets caught on stuff and I don’t like having to be careful of it.
Knick-knacks. I hate clutter.
Flowers or plants. I can’t smell them and I can’t keep them alive. Please don’t bother.
I like candles, but I’m very picky about the scents I burn. I pretty much only like Pier One candles. I have lots of “candle stubs” from candles that I couldn’t stand the smell of.
I don’t want anyone else buying me a purse. Purses are very personal, and it always takes me forever to find one that’s the right size, kind, color, etc. To buy me a purse is to court ill will.
Also candles (I have enough, thanks), and clothes. No thanks.
Speaking of Alligator wallet - I’m sort of glad I’m not visiting my Dad’s side of the family for Christmas, because my half-brothers girlfriend threatened to buy me Crocs for X-mas: I do not want these - they are the fugliest piece of footwear I have ever seen. Sure, I’d wear them during the X-mas celebration since they are a good compromise between going barefoot and not when visiting someone, but I could never be arsed to drag them along with me and they’d just get lost at home.
No candles for me either, please!
CDs and DVDs that I haven’t asked for. Yes, I love music and movies and have a huge collection. But, like the clothing comments above, I have very specific taste and I already know exactly what I want. Amazon wishlist, people, Amazon wishlist!
(Now, people who know my taste and get something for me that I haven’t heard of but they genuinely think I’m going to like, that’s very cool. But people who just grab a Fray or My Chemical Romance album because the store clerk told them that’s what’s popular right now-- NO!)
I’ll take a gift card over cash. It forces me to get a gift for myself. If I get a $50 BestBuy card I’ll probably get some DVD or CD box set that I normally wouldn’t have dropped the cash on. A nice gift.
If I get cash from someone it’s just going to go straight into the wallet and spent on something lame like gasoline, lunch, groceries, etc. Or if it’s a check and goes into my account it will probably be spent on part of the electric or phone bill. A lame gift.
My sister in law and brother in law do this all the time. They send me nice items that are completely useless to me.
This year they gave me what looks to be an expensive tie. The problem is that it is pink, purple and silver. I tend to dress very conservatively when it comes to tie colors. Another year they sent me a passport wallet with room for checkbook. Again, it is sitting in a box. Another year they sent me a Hermes tie which is still sitting in a box since the colors are too loud for me. Another year they sent me a set of gold cufflinks with lizards on them. I don’t wear cufflinks.
My wife is always amused by this because it is fairly obvious that I dress very conservatively when I wear a suit. All my suits are either black, dark blue or grey. I don’t wear brightly colored shirts and I tend to wear conservative ties.
The cold that I was given last year in mid December, that wiped me out until the end of February. I hate relative coming over that work with kids. They always end up bring what’s going around.
Nothing that the cat could eat by mistake. The vet bills from last time were astronomical.
Stuff.
Dine with me. Drink with me. Spend time with me. But don’t get me stuff.
So, I guess I’ll have to take all this stuff back, then. (Man, you guys are tough.)
Oh and Jeep’s Phoenix, I have one word just for you: PLASTICS 
Clothes. They never fit. Sizes are not exact. Large in one brand is XL in another. I especially have problems with sleeve length on dress shirts. It’s amazing how one brand can be labeled 36" sleeves and fit fine, while another brand can be labeled 36-37" sleeves, and they are way too short. For some brands buying the “tall” size is the only way to get sleeves long enough. So I need to try on before I buy. So please stop buying me clothes!
Not that I expect posting here to help. I’ve told my wife for years and years that I don’t want clothes. My wife finally got the message and stopped, but her family refuses. It’s a thing in their family, every single family member buys every single other family member at least one item of clothing.
My ex-girlfriend would agree with you. One Christmas she found a purse that she thought would be perfect for my mom, but said: “Oh, I’d like to get this for her. But purses are very personal choices. People want them ‘just so’ and no one else can really pick one for you.”
What did she get me? A new day planner.
Explanation: My day planner was my man-purse (like a fine leather clutch, but manly). It was my defacto wallet. It carried my bank/credit cards, my phone, my lipstick, my pen, and all the assorted man-stuff you would put in a man-purse.
I carried it everywhere and I was very picky about it. It had to be an exact size (just big enough to fit CDs if I carried work home from the office). The cards and ID had to fit in a particular way. It had to close a certain way (zipper all the way around, no crappy clasp).
The day-planner she got me was all wrong! What was she thinking?
At this point? Pretty much anything other than a Barnes & Nobel gift card. Anything I really want I’ve already bought or is well beyond the normal Christmas gift dollar range (this year I’m looking hard at a new car :D). The only person close enough to me to know what I really wanted but didn’t have was my wife.
It took quite a few years of clothes I never wear, DVD’s I never watch and nick nacks winding up in a box in the garage before most my relatives realized a bookstore gift card was the way to go (although, you know, my mom, boy…she’s a plugger and keeps trying even though every year I tell her I really don’t want anything :smack: ).
I don’t think you’re allowed to call it a man-purse after you’ve put lipstick in it. After that, it’s a purse.
Just checking to see if anyone was paying attention. 
Things like that that are nice to look at also tend to be breakable, so not suitable for an apartment inhabited by two klutzes and two young, curious cats.
Plants. I have a brown thumb, plus not having houseplants means I don’t have any issues of cat-houseplant interaction.
Perfumes or perfumed stuff. Mr. Neville gets skin rashes from a lot of perfumes, so I can’t wear them, either.
Clothes that I didn’t specifically pick out. That goes for you especially, MIL. We have… ahh… rather different tastes in clothes.
Food, especially from my family. My taste in food and theirs are very different. I’d also rather not get food presents from you unless you are knowledgeable about the rules of keeping kosher.
I would like to give some advice to anyone who’s thinking of giving anyone else a pet for the holidays:
Don’t. Just don’t.
Someone who wants a pet should really pick it out for themselves, not have a huge responsibility and possibly an unsuitable pet for their lifestyle given to them. Christmas morning is not exactly a nice low-stress time for a new pet to be adjusting to your home and family, either.