When a cop on a series becomes romantically involved with somebody he meets on a case, you can be pretty sure she’s a killer but it may not be that particular case- it could be one he works on after they’re talking about moving in together. (Worst luck along these lines was Leland Stottlemeyer- poor guy couldn’t meet a nice lady without learning she was a sociopath, but at least presumably he got some good lays out of it.)
Didn’t Dexter’s sister get pulled off the case by Lt. Laguerta? That’s the only example of a female superior who might pull someone off the case, which would make it the exception that proves the rule.
Home or work? What sort of cops do you know? Cops always come to visit you at your favorite nightclub.
I also learned that Boston has over 300 bank robberies a year. So a bank is getting robbed in Boston pretty much every day. Presumably with a running gun battle and car chase through the city.
NCIS has a short attention span, so it’s always that case. It’s embarrassing.
A la Dexter:
When 3 of the 5 detectives in a department have actually been in a relationship with a serious serial criminal, any ensuing internal investigation is obviously unfair, rigged, outrageous, etc.
And the human involved in the crime is only one that touches anything - even in a public place like an elevator. For example, the fingerprint or DNA on an elevator button is the relevant one, not the fingerprint or DNA of the other 2,000 people that used the elevator, pay phone, urinal, etc on the same day.
If you’re a hot female detective or CSI tech, you can show as much cleavage as you like without anyone giving you a second glance.
If you participate in any sort of sexual recreation in Las Vegas or Miami, you are viewed as a deviant and some sort of evil will befall you. [slight hijack] I’ve often wondered if this wasn’t a trick used by the writers to get things past the censors. It’s okay to show people involved in a wild orgy as long as they die or get arrested before the show is over [\hijack]
Judge;“would you read back what was said”
Stenographer; “Witness; Yes, I killed him with an axe”
Witness; (so far cool as an antarctic cucumber gets enraged) “I didn’t say that, besides, I used a hammer not an axe!”
Stenographer; “Gotcha!”
Judge; “bailiff, place the witness under arrest”
~~ /quote]
Witness; (knocks down bailiff) “You’ll never catch m–” (clocked by well-thrown StenoType Machine)
Witness’s Girlfriend; “I’ll get you, bitch!” (Grabs bailiff’s gun)
(Catfight ensues with GF and Steno Babe) (continues through sweeps week).
All mysterious liquids are sperm or something else mixed with sperm or something with traces of sperm in it.
If it’s not sperm, it’s usually poison. Unless it’s poisonous sperm.
To be fair, that one’s true.
All large cities are allowed only one or two murders at a time so that the crime lab can devote their full attention to those murders.
When a defendant gets off on a minor procedural technicality (which they frequently do), they are typically gunned down on the courthouse steps by an angry concerned citizen.
Very common that one - it’s happened at least three times in this thread alone…
Can I just say that any guilty person who gets away with it in court will almost certainly get shot down on the courthouse steps right after trials end?
I can ?
O.K. Anyone who’s guilty but gets let off will usually get gunned down on the courthouse steps as they are leaving.
Lots of parking in front of city hall and the police station.
Lots of clues at local strip clubs. (Give a stripper a twenty and she will tell you where the suitcase nuke that will kill us all is hidden.)
The gang member named “Angel” has no idea how to pronounce his own name.
Police commissioners are unable to recognize that the masked crimefighters have the same exact voice as two of their close friends.
A junkie high in an alley can give you specific details about the crime they witnessed (saw it last night on an rerun episode of NCIS). Also, the smaller the woman, the more likely she is to be able to disable you with one hand.
A gang member brought in for questioning can trash talk the investigators (and vulgarly proposition female detectives) without having his testicles broken; although I don’t watch The Shield so there might be exceptions.
If you’re anywhere near a vacationing detective, watch out because someone is going to get murdered.
If you even cross paths with Joyce Barnaby, you’re going to die.
Every department has a magic computer(complete with genius cyberhacker) with an incredibly simple browser that can literally bring up info about anything.
“I need you to pull up a list of every style of particle board coffee table sold in the Northeastern United States.”
“On it! Okay I’ve found two coffee tables listed in the Coffee Table Database that match pieces of the table found at the crime scene.”
It will also magically arrange the windows in the most beneficial layout possible. As agents are discussing the suspects, the suspect in question’s picture will resize to take up most of the monitor. There’s usually a sound that goes with this.
A few agents will be in an office discussing a case that they can’t solve. They will be mulling over some obscure bit of information that they don’t have, and one of them might remark “Really?” Just at that moment another agent, who was absent during the entire conversation, will enter the room and say “Really.” He’ll be waving a file that has the exact information that everyone was looking for.