I was once walking with my wife in the Mall. We were holding hands and chit-chatting about whatever. I very nonchalantly and subtley started steering her toward one of the many large support columns you see in the mall there. She never noticed and wasn’t even watching where we were going until she walked right into the column. She hit me in the arm really hard.
I am so so so infinitely glad that I don’t know any of you people or your assorted SOs. I do not handle being embarrassed.
He embarrasses me by being nonexistant.
[sub]I should get points for originality.[/sub]
furiously taking notes
considers pissed-off queerpunk englishman
tears up notes
I am definitely the embarasser, not the embarassee. The weekend before last I spent an evening at an outdoor party. When darkness fell and the only light was from the propane lamps and the bonfire, my friends and I took turns leaping onto each other out of the bushes, while whoever was being leapt upon screeched; “Save me, Buffy!”
If UDA had been there, she would have been mortified.
My ex-boyfriend, the passive-aggressive poster child, would loudly complain to ME, in a voice meant to be overheard, about the poor/rude/slow/whatever service he was receiving from the salesperson/waiter/whatever. I finally broke him of it one day by taking the salesperson by the arm and saying, “MY FRIEND WANTS TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE SERVICE HE’S RECEIVING FROM YOU.” Then I turned to my ex. “TELL HIM. TELL HIM EXACTLY WHAT YOU TOLD ME. GO ON, TELL HIM. YOU DON’T HAVE TO STAND FOR THIS!” Ex turned white as a sheet (which was a pretty good trick, seeing as he is not Caucasian) and never pulled this stunt again.
Yes, we’re still friends.
My ex and I used to walk into a store, and then he would walk way ahead of me, and when I would catch up to him, he would run away, and yell, “Stay away from me! No, I don’t want to date you! How many times do I have to tell you!” He didn’t last much longer.
Not only that, but your SO’s eyesight will have probably fallen by the wayside then, so who knows where his groping hands might end up on you? But really, it’s just our way of saying, “I love you.” 
Oh, and, “I’m horny.”
Yeah… of course it also means, “I love you and your rack! Besides, all the other women keep calling the police when I do the same thing to them. Are you horny yet?”
As for me, MY SO tends to wear these empire-waist dresses which make all women look knocked-up. Which isn’t embarrasing per se; if someone asks about the impending pregnancy, in fact, I just tell them she’s my sister.
And that I’m very proud…
My boyfriend posts regularly to an internet message board where I lurk and occasionally post. He is consistantly and maliciously witty, informed, adorable, intelligent and sweet: this makes my tired little posts look lame in the extreme, makes people wonder what he did to get stuck with a humourless schmuck like me, and he should stop it right now because it makes me look bad. He’s so mean to me.