My s/o LOVES to embarrass me. Here are just a couple of examples on how he achieves this. BTW, I blush reaaaaaally hard and reaaaaally easily.
The day he got his tongue pierced, we went to the grocery store to get some essentials and some soup for him. His tongue was swollen and sore and he was speaking with a bit of a lisp. Being silly, he was saying over and over…I got Thoup. I got Thoup. An elderly lady walked up to him, took his hand and said. “That’s good dear, you just enjoy your soup” She gave me a nice smile and walked away. I wanted to crawl into the coolers.
Just a few nights ago we were shopping at Wal-Mart and I turned to look at shampoos. I left my cart kind behind me. A lady kinda snickered and looked at me funny. I was wondering if I had a booger showing. I turned around to find about 30 boxes of Preperation H and some rubber gloves in the little basket in my cart. Oh I could have died.
What does your s/o or family member do to embarrass you???
I am the embarrasser…not the embarrassee. I enjoy speaking in foreign accents at drive throughs. Always fun to order in Scottish or Russian.
Our two year old is in the middle of potty training. He’ll say “I gotta poop” when the need arises. So we were in a restaurant…
He said “I gotta poop.” I pretended not to understand. “What, honey?” Louder. “I gotta poop!” Warning look from wife. “What, honey?” “I GOTTA POOP!” Sporadic chuckling. People turning around. Wife wants to crawl under table. Life is good.
My husband’s father was a comedian (literally) and more than his fair share rubbed off. My husband is about a foot taller than me. He likes to stand behind me when we’re in line at the grocery store and bend over and slowly start nibbling on my hair. Sometimes he’ll make grunting sounds like he’s grazing.
Also, he has a habit of letting out these anime-style yells of frustration when something’s not going right. He doesn’t realize he’s doing it, so if we’re in public and he drops something, or forgets something he’ll let out a very loud “GYAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGH!”
Mine just likes to squeeze my boobies in public. Nothing makes him happier than to sneak in a quick “honk” anywhere and everywhere. Funerals, my parents, the cop who pulled us over… I mean, PLEASE He’s 45 years old! You’d think that the magical facination with the boobies would have waned a little by now!
Fascination with boobies? Diminish? I don’t think so!
On the whole, my wife has more to worry from me than I from her; she’s much more conventional than I am. But there is one story she repeatedly tells on me, and clearly its only purpose is to embarrass me.
I use the nuker to soften up ice cream when it’s too hard to scoop. You take your pint of ice cream from the freezer, nuke it for five seconds, and while it’s still quite solid, you can now get a spoon through it.
Works great, unless you get distracted, don’t take it out right away, then forget that it’s there. I did that once, more than a dozen years ago. She’s never let me forget it, and seems to most enjoy telling the story when we’re with others.
RTFirefly, my father’s done that. I think it’s worse, though, because with our microwave you specify exactly how long you want to microwave something for. For some reason, beloved pater o’ mine decides that ice-cream could do with being nuked for five minutes.
It looked like soup. Creamy yellow Haagen Dazs soup with small pieces of cookie dough floating on top. And I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve told this story for embarrassment purposes - enough times for him to delegate all ice-cream responsibility to me. Sigh.
My husband will randomly tell waiters in restaurants that it is someone’s birthday so they will go do the whole singing to them, clapping, bringing them dessert deals…
Then he just sits back and watches his master plan unfold.
We really don’t embarass each other. We’re both rather loud and don’t really give a crap what other people think, so we can and do do some pretty odd things in public and just laugh at each other.
I think the last time I really embarassed her was a couple years ago when I showed up looking for her at church, stinking drunk on Christmas Eve night.
Loneraven, there may be a semi-logical explanation for that.
On my nuker, to nuke something for 5 seconds, you hit “Time Cook”, then “5” then “Start”. But if you skip the “Time Cook” button, it thinks you meant minutes. And that would be the difference between slightly softened ice cream, and flavored dairy soup.
Aries, what a wonderfully nefarious idea! I am in admiration of your husband. I wouldn’t do this to random strangers, but I know some fitting victims…
While she’s not my s/o, I have a good female friend that loves to tell this story to embarrass me.
We lived together for a short while, although we were not together in the s/o sense, lets call her Wendy. We live with another girl, Retard Girl, in this really nice house. The only thing a little weird about it is that the only door lock is on the front door. The bathrooms don’t have any door locks and neither do the bedrooms. A simple knock has always done the trick.
Anyways, I go out with my buddies one night and proceed to get absolutely wasted. One of my friends, Zed, had also gotten really drunk but insisted on driving. Instead, I took his car keys and being a good friend walked home from the bar. He stayed at the bar til closing. I relocated his car (so he wouldn’t get a spare set and drive it [don’t comment on this, it’s drunken logic]). He calls at 7am, bright and early. I’m still pasted out. Wendy answers the phone. He asks for me. She explains that it’s 7am on Saturday and I’m sleeping. Call back later. He insists that she go get me. He knows I “stole” his car. Being the great friend that she is, she goes down to wake me up. She knocks. I’m passed out, I don’t hear her. She opens the door, lo and behold, there I am. Apparently, I had come home from the bar, decided to jerk-off and passed out in the process. She’s horrified, and throws the phone at me. I’m completely unaware until I realize I’m naked, and hrm… was my hand were I think it was when I woke up.
We never spoke of the event again, until maybe a year later. She and I were swapping stories in the middle of a business group and she busts this one out on me… now social groups it would have been ok… but a business group… I was so embarrassed.
There’s the tit-squeeze, the ass-grab, the thigh-squeeze, the “let’s tickle Juanita until she almost wets her pants” thingy, the “let’s hold up this Justin Timberlake CD and ask Juanita (very loudly) if she still wants it” thingy and, of course, dry humping me from behind.
Mr. Aries’ other favorite thing is as we are standing in line and I’m writing the check to pay for our merchandise he will whisper just loud enough for the cashier to hear…“Are you sure there is money in there this time?”
That or he will say, " You aren’t using those old checks you found again are you?"
I never make it out of the store without having to show various forms of ID.
I don’t have an SO, but my father is the master embarrasser of all time. Stunts he has pulled, which embarrassed the entire family, include:
•_Pulling up to drive through windows at fast food restaurants and barking his order. (Rowf! Rowf!)
•_Faking heart attacks in busy parking lots. He did this to me once. I glanced at him and kept on walking. There was some lady a couple cars away, watching the whole thing. You should have seen her face when I walked away nonchalantly from my supposedly dying dad.
•_Answering the phone and asking my friends, “Do you walk to school, or do you carry your lunch?”
•_He once pointed at my step-mom’s ass (while walking through K-Mart) and loudly pointed out that her ass looked like “two dogs fighting under a blanket.” She punched him. Right in the middle of the women’s clothing section.
•_He calls my answering machine to “talk” to my dogs. (More barking. He knows they can hear him when the machine kicks on.)
•_He flirts with everyone, mercilessly.
•_He asks every cashier if he/she cares who pays for the purchase. When they say they don’t care who pays, then he asks the cashier to pay!
I’m sure I’ll think of more. You may send sympathy cards to my step-mom, care of Dogzilla.
Peg gives book to late-teen male.
Total comes out to something like $17.
Peg fishes a $10, then a $20 out of her wallet.
Mr. Peg takes the $10, puts it on the counter and proceeds to peel 7 $1 bills from his wallet.
Peg: “But honey, now you won’t be able to go to the strip club.”
While we’re on this topic… My dad told me he used to get cash from an ATM machine and hand my mom a few 50 dollar bills, while saying to her very loudly “Here’s for the nice time last night.”
Oh Lord…where to begin. The dry hump thing, anytime, anywhere. Any time I bend over to look at something, within seconds SO is there dry humping and with tongue hanging out. And he honks the ol’ boobies. When grocery shopping, he will let fly a very loud fart, then admonish me. He also likes walking to the end of the aisle then calling me very loudly in a really hick voice. He has to speak to the manager of every restaurant we go to, and sometimes talks so much to the wait staff that I can literally see their eyes glaze over.
Boobies are fabulous!