You know your OP sucks when you try and trash southern people (or, “southerners”), and **Oakminster **doesn’t even bother to raise an eyebrow.
You’re all southerners to me. 
Mrs. Claus?
Your mom.
So the OP pits “Southern” people and could not even find the pit with both hands and a road map.
What does that say about the intelligence of the OP?
Nothing good, I’m guessing.
Somebody got his date jacked by a guy in a pickup truck, methinks.
Perhaps the OP is a Northern Southerner.
Am not.
Well, bless the OPs heart …
[QUOTE=Zebra]
Hey, I fuck things other than pigs.
[/QUOTE]
Speaking just for myself, it was because the pigs turned me down.
Darn those excessively choosy pigs, with their unattainably high standards of cleanliness!
I heard the following one-sided conversation coming from the bathroom stall at a Double Kwik deep in the Kentucky backwoods late one Saturday night a few years ago:
(phone rings)
Hello?
(pause)
I didn’t let them fuckin’ goats out, Mama.
(pause)
I didn’t fuck her, Patrick did! She ain’t sayin’ rape on me!
(pause)
Ok, bye.
(phone clicks shut)
I decided that I could put up with the rednecks if I could just hear one conversation like that every now and then.
If can catch 'em, I can fuck 'em.
And if they can catch you? I mean, fair’s fair, right?
Oh too delicious.
Rednecks RULE…love it!! 
Goats lie.
NVM
With Patrick, apparently.
Might be he lives in a northern area with people who behave in what they believe to be a more southern fashion: country music, loud pickup trucks, confederate flags, and the like. Basically they model themselves after Larry the Cable Guy. I’m in northern Michigan, and we’ve got quite a few of them.
That’s my guess. Phrased politely so as not to offend delicate southern sensibilities. 
Well. I don’t fuck pigs. Make sweet, gentle love to one, though…
OPer not coming back after vague OP-what a surprise.