So I pop into the local grocery last night to pick up a few things. The woman in front of me was buying a paper. There was a large story on the front page about an international lesbian couple who married in Canada but, because of US immigration law, were unable to remain together in the United States. The checker rings up the paper and reads the headline aloud, then says to the bagboy, “Why would they put that on the front page? Who cares about it?”
Well, you stupid bitch, the couple torn apart by unjust immigration laws obviously cares. I care. Anyone who gives a shit about civil rights and social justice cares. The question is, why don’t you care that two people who love each other and have commited themselves to each other are being separated by force of law?
I guess for the same reason that in two consecutive weeks, La Presse had stories about
a couple in Paraguay who were put in jail because they were thought to have illegally obtained a same-sex marriage (one of the spouses was intersex, and they were released after he showed he was and always had been legally male), and
a trans woman in Germany who won a legal battle to stay married to her wife after she transitioned,
and put them in the ‘offbeat’ section. Because human rights issues are ‘real news’ except when they happen to queer people.
I’ve heard some very harsh comments from clerks at convenience stores when I buy the Dallas Morning News. This year, the front page story on Sundays has been illegal immigration or Obama. Neither subject brings out the best in a $6.00/hour convenience store worker.
She was old enough to ring up liquor, which means she’s at least 18. And I didn’t scream at her. I simply pointed out in a calm voice that there are indeed people who care and, if she has any interest in civil rights she ought to care too.
If I hadn’t been in a hurry I would’ve asked to speak to a manager. Not because I was personally offended but because this is a very gay-friendly town (for the most part) and the manager might want to know what his employees are saying about a large segment of the store’s customer base.
And also because, as has been pointed out, her job is to ring up the groceries, not to run her yap and provide commentary on the items her customers are purchasing.
Was it really a homophobic thing on her part? Maybe she just didn’t think the story was interesting, and would’ve felt the same even about an analogous non-gay story.
I don’t care either, at least, not as front page news. I wouldn’t care if it were blacks, Asians, Indians, or an Italian/Native American/Black mix married to a Filipina. Not front page news, and I’d probably skip the article in the middle (unless the Sudoku puzzle was really easy and I finished it before my ride ended). So when I say, “Who cares?”, a rhetorical question by the way, I don’t mean it in a homophobic sense. I mean it in a “this story has zero interest for me” sense, and wonder if the world/state/city is such a kittens and puppies place that this story deserves top billing.
(For the record, the daily paper I pick up had a human interest story dominate the cover and my reaction was the same. Human interest can be entertaining, especially the quirky stuff, but I never see it as front page news.)
I’m very interested in it, although I’m not gay and at this point I don’t even think I know anyone who is. It just seems obvious to me that gay people should have marriage rights. Apparently, it seems equally obvious to others that they shouldn’t, so I want to see what’s going on. Crudely put, I want to see if my side is winning.
Exactly. Surprisingly, people have different ideas of what’s important and what should be front page news. Imagine that. It’s a free country; if a cashier feels it necessary to comment on a purchase, so what? If you find it irritating, then you just smile and nod and move on. Getting your panties in a wad over it doesn’t really help anything.
While I can’t read minds, the contemptuous tone in her voice led me to believe that her remark was motivated by at the least disdain for lesbians. I don’t think it was a “puppies and kittens who cares” situation.
I eally don’t think calmly explaining to the cashier making an inappropriate and possibly if not probably homophobic remark that there are indeed people who care about this couple and others similarly situated (according to the story, 6% of all LGBT couples in the US are bi-national) constitutes “getting [my] panties in a wad.” If she had said “that doesn’t seem like front page news to me” and left it at that then I probably wouldn’t even have noticed. But when she says "who cares about that? in a tone ripe with contempt, I’m not going to let it pass unchallenged.
I always get questions about my produce; what the heck is this, what are you gonna do with this? I embarrassed my SO when I recently said, “It’s a Chinese eggplant, and my sex life isn’t something I’d care to discuss”.
I guess I’m mellowing in my (hopefully not so) old age, since I don’t get upset when a grocery store cashier asks how I’m doing, or even sometimes comments on something I’m buying. A few weeks ago I was stocking up on my breakfast yogurt because it was on sale, and as she was running them past the scanner the cashier said something like "You like yogurt, don’t you?’ I chuckled, patted my very rounded belly, and replied, “Have to do something to help get rid of this.”
I don’t think clerks should comment on anything I buy…either positively or negatively.
I was actually thinking of this as a topic a week ago.
When a grocery checker is scanning my items, all the person needs to “see” are items of various shapes and sizes. Nothing specific.
(I don’t care what they think…If all I’m buying is a six pack, a tube of KY warming jelly, and a banana bunker , that’s my business. Just keep your comments to yourself. Likewise, if that’s your favorite beer, too…I don’t care.)