Stupid Injury Thread

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
81

This is the most agonizing thread ever! I am laughing and wincing and getting sympathy pains in my ankels and toes ow ow ow ow.

I once tried to separate two fighting hamsters and promptly got bit but dam good, the bloody lil devil was hanging from my pinky. It left a jagged deep wound. that was stupid, stupid.

I once came home from a long bike ride and drove past a group of teenage boys. I power slid into my driveway shooting up gravel and dust in a very cool maneuver while dismounting at the same time. But I forgot about the babyseat on theback of the bike and crashed my leg into it and fell sprawled over the bike.

The teenagers were hooting and pointing at me. :o

82

Mom sprained her ankle walking on the perfectly-flat tiled hallway at home.

One day we were at the public pool, when Middlebro was 3-I-think. We were setting the table and he was kneeling on a chair which he’d pushed a bit forward so it leaned against the edge of the table. He was bouncing it; the floor was loose pebbles over dirt. Dad said “stop it.” Like talking to a wall. Dad growled “stop it.” Bro looked at Dad, decided it was serious, gave a final mighty bump… mighty enough that the chair slipped back, falling down, trapping all ten fingernails under the back! Having a little kid with all-black fingernails which then proceed to fall off and regrow isn’t funny, and he was old enough to know it was his fault. He’d look at his “stumps” and sigh… He was fascinated when they were black, scared when they fell off, but I told him they’d grow back; he kept watching them to see whether they really grew back or not. Eventually they did.

No injuries, but for many years my ankles and knees would give off at the weirdest times. The ankles still do, I’ll just be walking and my ankle turns. One day when I was 15, I was walking down the street with my best friend E and her brother K. Suddeny, my ankles and knees all failed and I somehow ended up with both feet forming a straight line and my knees pointing completely out, so that if you looked at me from above you would have seen a straight line (just a bumpy one). I couldn’t turn; couldn’t move my feet; falling back would have hurt; didn’t seem to be able to fall forward without giving myself a new nose. Once my friends stopped laughing long enough to grab one elbow each, I was able to regain my verticality although not my pride.

A few weeks later, we were walking down some stairs in the street. These stairs are very low (less than a handspan) and very wide. Some water had pooled in one of the steps. B decided to step over it, slipped on the edge, stuck herself legs-all-open. Now, normally this position wouldn’t have been much of a problem to get up from, we did it often in gym class and on time off for show, but she’s got the allergy to water common to people from that area… once we managed to stop laughing, we helped her up and discovered she’d twisted the leading ankle. Sprain.

Last week, a friend from my guild (who is also a superb healing cleric) came into WoW and announced that he had his ankle on top of an ice pack on top of the computer. No electric injuries were sustained; both out favourite healer and his adoring healees got lucky, the physical injury wasn’t as serious as initially feared. No broken bones or sprains, “just” a pulled muscle… from walking off the sidewalk.

83

You shouldn’t kiss hamsters, either. Trust me.

84

::singing, badly:: One little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and bumped his head. He went to the doctor and the doctor said, no more monkeys jumping on the bed.

Only I was 3 yrs old and the bed was a couch. Mom said, don’t jump on that couch. ::bounce, bounce, bounce…BAM!:: Thinks for a minute then decides to scream for his mommy because it hurts.
I managed to bounce right into the corner of a very hard and sharp corner of a wooden coffee table. I still have the scar on my left eyebrow.

At age 18 I blow out the meniscus in my left knee from standing up. :smack: I was sitting on bed, which was just a mattress I had on the floor. I stood up, felt a terrible POP!, sat back down and thought, “Holy shit, I just dislocated my knee” I managed to tear the meniscus in my knee. It felt like someone jammed a door stop into my knee and left it there. I finally got surgery on it about 10 years later after many years of tolerating the occasional slip of the meniscus into the joint creating that door-stop-in-the-kneejoint sensation.

Manage to put nail through my hand when I was about 5 yrs old by sitting on a pile of discarded boards and not paying attention to where I placed my hand. :smack:

Mom says to 4 yr old Redfrost “Don’t drop it in, just lay it in there” (Referring to the pork chop to be placed in sizzling oil). That resulted in a trip to the ER and a very scared and embarrassed mother. No scars though.

Running from a bully twice my size and age when I was about 13 or 14, I ran straight into a telephone pole. I was looking back to see what ground I had gained. I actually felt me teeth click. I was stunned, but not unconscious, for several minutes.

Age 12 or so cutting grass at an old lady’s house. Walking backwards, I don’t see the pit (made of brick) that I fall into. I came too wondering what the hell happened, noticing I was no longer walking and laying uncomfortably on some hard things with my head resting a brick wall. I check my head, yup, there’s some blood. I walk calmy into the building to tell my grandmother, who drove me there, my head was bleeding. It was only later that I realized how lucky I was to have not pulled the running mower in with me. :eek:

How I managed to live to see 33 is a frickin’ miracle. :stuck_out_tongue:

85

My sister and I were at a bar drinking with some friends. One of them is a bit of a joker. The waiter came near us and set down a tray full of beers. The people for whom they were meant didn’t see them to start with and previously mentioned friend pretended to start taking them all. My sister and I egged him on, then took off sprinting into the open garden part of the bar, our own beers in hand. Giggling and running, looking behind us to see his reaction, we didn’t notice a foot high wooden fence running around the garden. Both of us smacked our shins into it at the same time and went down. Not really knowing what had happened but finding it both painful and funny at the same time, neither of us could get up. People around were staring and laughing, then a skinny, tiny woman came over to pull us up. This sent us into another fit of giggles (we’re tall, big girls). Then we looked for our beers and some how in the mayhem we had managed to place them carefully?? on the ground with the miniscule contents undisturbed - yet again fits of giggles. I have a permanent dent in my shin.

86

I used to have a pet iguana and was cutting up veggies to feed him on one of those wooden cutting boards, somebody said something to me and when I turned to look I inadvertantly placed my hand on the board and slammed the knife down on the top of my hand. There was a lot of blood after that little incident.

I have a friend who is known for breaking bones and in fact he just recently broke his left arm in three places. Anyway, he once was getting a cast off of a broken arm at the doctor’s office and was so excited he did a cartwheel and broke the wrist again in the same place. :smack:

87

When I was 14, I blew the meniscus in my right knee just swimming calmly and lazily in a friend’s pool. In those days they sliced you from stem to stern to fix it, so I just learned to live with it. For a long time; I finally had to get the whole knee replaced this year. All from swimming. :smack:

88

In high school improv class, we crafted some quick masks out of paper plates and created characters out of them. My character was a blind, sassy barber. Of course, I decided to keep things realistic and simply drew on eyes rather than cut eye-holes, and promptly walked off the stage. My pinky is still bent outwards funny to this day.

Later that year, I went snowboarding for the first time. My first day out on the slopes, I found a jump, and worked up my courage all day to go try it. Just as it was time to go home, I went all the way to the top of the mountain and beelined for that jump. Generally, when snowboarding, you slalom to break for speed. I didn’t. I hit the jump at at least 30 mph, attempting a 360, but only made it as far as 90. I slammed face-first into the ground and my board whipped around back like a scorpion and slammed into the back of my head.

God knows how I walked away from that with only a small bump and a loud WOOOOOOO THAT WAS AWESOME.

I’ll be back to share how I broke my arm later that week.

89

Oh you reminded me of another one. I was probably 14. I lived on a paved country road, that had a gentle slope. Four or five kids doing bike tricks, so I was showing off for the boy I had a crush on. I stood up on the seat of my bike. The next think I knew I was lying spread eagle in a patch of blackberry briers, the kind with thorns the size of sharks’ teeth. Ow.

Another time, I was riding my bike barefoot and dragged the nail off my big toe on the pavement. Ow.

90

Oh, man. I just had one two nights ago. This one’s so embarrassing (and TMI) that I’m going to have to spoiler-box it. (WARNING: Penis ensues, and not in the good way.)

So I was trimming the trouser hedges with a pair of barber’s scissors just prior to taking a shower, because it had grown unruly and … well, it was at the wife’s behest. So I’m snipping around, giving it an impromptu brush cut and all is going well, so I decide to take to the lowlands and snip the scraggly bits round the jewel case. That’s when I was rather startlingly taught an important lesson: Make sure that all loose objects are clear of the blades before closing. I drew blood. Not much – the snipping was pretty ginger, given the area I was landscaping – but enough to bead a little bit. It was more surprising than painful, a fact that itself was surprising, but it definitely ruined post-shower, pre-coital plans…)

Please try not to point and laugh too heartily. Cringing is acceptable.

91

Yay! Now I’m an expert - anyone want me to give them one?

92

I had a doozy the other night, while staying interstate with my mum; the cat requested she be let out by knocking everything off my desk. So I got out of bed, stubbed my foot on my backpack, bent down to push that out of the way, aced my nose on the back of the desk chair, pushed the desk chair aside, let the cat out and then got into bed at the wrong angle and smack the back of my head on the wall.

It was 2am.

On the falling-with-baby topic; when my cousin Olivia was about six months old, my aunt tripped in the living room with her in her arms. Olivia flew through the air and landed, thankfully, on the beanbag. My aunt said she was crying for hours. Olivia slept on.

My dad broke his left leg in twelve places above and below the knee while skiing. Well, technically he was standing still. The skis were corroded and didn’t release but I still tell it like this; he was standing still, began to slide, fell over to the side and he went one way and his foot the other.

I poke myself in the eye with makeup and mascara brushes far more often than I should.

93

Hhngurk.

94

My Dad out does me. He, my Mum and sisters were off to my Aunt’s house to help her with some DIY. Dad asked me to pack some tools so they could all drive straight off to my Aunt’s after Dad came home from work.

So, I packed the tools and everyone went off in the car. A bit later, I got a phone call from Dad, “You forgot a hacksaw, I need it to cut some trellis”. No reason to phone other than to chastise me, so I merely responded “Oh.”

Bit later again, I got another phone call, from Mum. “Your Dad was trying to cut some trellis with a bread knife and cut through his finger.” Again, all I could come up with was “Oh” (I was an unsympathetic teen :tongue: )

Dad came home, finger in plaster, nerves all severed. For a couple of weeks later, we had to change gear for him in the car. Considering how awful his driving can be, worsening it with my pre-driving test gear changes was punishment enough for me the passenger.

95

I stubbed my toe on a 1-inch step-up into a gas station quickie mart (yes, by golly, I was attempting to receive service without shoes (though I was wearing a shirt)). I was temporarily blinded by the pain and limped for a full six weeks while the fracture healed.

96

about five years ago, i served as a poll judge during a november election. part of that job description is to be prepared for anything and everything that can happen in a long, 12-hour-plus day. i’ve worked polls for years, so i have it down pat. despite what your state government is telling you, electronic voting machines aren’t worth the powder to blow them up with, so i brought an extension cord and a power strip for backup, among other things. fortunately everything went smoothly.

fast forward to the following evening. i’m running late, which is a bit unusual for me. i’m known for my punctuality, which is probably why what happened next, happened.

the evening before, i violated the first rule of living alone. those who live by themselves know whereof i speak: **thou shalt not ever leave anything on the stairs you might trip over. ** if you land seriously injured - or worse - there is a good chance you’re screwed for getting medical help in time - and your cats will eat you.

so, i’m bolting down the stairs at my usual breakneck pace, and my left white keds sneaker came in contact with – you guessed it – the extension cord and power strip i’d laid neatly on the stairs to take up to my office later. mind you, i’d up and down those stairs three or four times in the course of the day already.

the next 10 seconds of my life probably looked a little something like a bolshoi ballet dancer revved up on bennies. i found myself airborne, and, knowing i faced injury if i landed that wrong way, i fought to stay upright. i did, but there was a price to be paid.

i came down on my right big toe with all of my weight behind it followed by the sound of something cracking. i instantly knew it was broken. after a peek, which was enough for me (no bone showing), i crammed it back in the sneaker and headed for my local doc-in-the-box before shock set in.

sure enough. the doc was very impressed and so was the tech, who whistled when he got a gander at my film. not only broken, but shattered in two places. what the medical folks call a double spiral fracture. lovely.

it of course meant immediate surgery, but the best part also relates back to my day at the polls. who should i look up to see at one point during the day but my favorite orthopedic surgeon: doctor ireland, who had worked on me twice before for other unrelated issues.

i of course, joked with him that he must be low on business lately, as i’d been healthy in recent years.

guess who i had to call the next day to schedule an appointment with. :stuck_out_tongue:

97

Oh, gosh, where do I start? I have a woodworking shop, so the possibilities are endless!

About four years ago I was in the woodshop using a bench-mounted router to cut a flat-bottomed groove in a strip of pine. For those not familiar with power tools, a router turns at an extremely high rate of speed – tens of thousands of RPM – and the bits on them are razor sharp. So, I was feeding the stock through the router and had it almost all the way through when my yellow Lab, Daisy, who had been lying quietly nearby, stood up to stretch. I saw the motion out of the corner of my eye, got distracted, and didn’t see that my first finger of my right hand had dropped down into the path of the bit. A second later I felt a tremendous THUMP on the tip of my finger. I didn’t even look at it, I just grabbed a clean finishing rag nearby and wrapped it around my finger, turned the router off and hustled into the house for the ride to the emergency room. When the bleeding stopped, it looked like the tip of my finger had exploded. The ER surgeon counted five separate cuts across the tip of the finger. She saved the finger, but it has a funny crease in it now, and there are nerveless little zones on it. When we got home later that night, Daisy was still in the shop – I’d forgotten to let her out in my haste to get to the hospital.

98

The only time I’ve successfully somersaulted was accidentally down the stairs at my grammar school.