Got to be being stabbed with a pen , got a cut from it
heh theres tons of these threads in the archives the one I originally wrote about this in was 15 years ago …
I spilled a pan of boiling ramen water noodles and all right down the baggy swin trunks (under the mesh liner even )I was wearing cause it was laundry day
I was 12 at the time and mom wouldn’t let me use the good sauce pans so I used this old thing
I got for a quarter at a thrift store it had a loose handle and my hands have this habit of turning over when I’m carrying something heavy one handed ( I have cerebal palsy)…
perferct storm waiting to happen …
and it did but if the pan hadn’t turned over in a total 360 the same time my hand did it wouldn’t of been as bad …
I turned my brain off before turning my circular saw off.
You really don’t want links to the pictures. < VEG >
Tried to slam a storm door. Put my arm through its window instead.
Catching an exacto knife as it rolled off a table. By clapping my legs together. Still have the scar on one thigh…
You know the scene in Young Frankenstein where Victor stabs himself with the scalpel, then sort of just looks at it? Pretty much what I did.
I fell off my platform shoes and broke my ankle. That’s a 70s kind of accident to have, isn’t it?
I’ve long since learned to be mentally alert and cognizant of danger, so I can’t recall a single instance in my adulthood. I don’t even burn myself in the kitchen. I haven’t seen a bandaid in decades, I don’t have one in my house.
I make my own at home, it’s easier and cheaper.
Stepped on my dog’s chew toy. He’s a Newfoundland. The chew toy is about the circumference of baseball. I stepped on the toy and my foot bent one way and my leg the other. My ankle tried to keep things together. I looked at the resulting NFL-style floppy leg and asked my husband to call the ambulance. The dog toys are off the bedroom floors at all times now. 
I knit my own bandages at home to keep things more historically accurate for my children.
Until radioactive pieces of my home planet land on Earth, I need no such thing as bandages.
I repeatedly hit my head on the tailgate (or “liftgate” as Mazda calls it) on my SUV after I bought it in 2012. It curves inward on the bottom edges and puts the corner of the interior trim panel about an inch lower than the top of my head. About a year ago, I hit it so hard that I knocked myself unconscious and had a minor concussion…
The saddest (and/or most embarrassing) part is that I’ve done it several more times since then…just not hard enough to render myself unconscious again! :o
I tried to leap capital T in a single bound
I was at a graduation party. There was a slice of cheese laying on the floor. I stepped on it, landed smack on my ass, and cracked my tailbone.
Another time, at a fancy convention center, I was headed for the ladies’ room. The place had nice shiny SLIPPERY marble floors in the hallways. I was wearing new shoes with high heels and SLIPPERY soles. I tried to turn a corner, not moving very fast, and both feet still slid out from under me and I landed hard on my side. Stone cold sober, too. 
One time I was playing with an office stapler (might have been a Swingline), I managed to drive a staple all the way into my thumb and I even did it one handed.
:smack:
When I was about three or so I remember my Mom was sitting at her vanity putting her hair up in some fashion. Anyhow, there were these bobby pins all over the place and well, there was this electrical outlet, you see… Long story short, I blew the fuse down in the basement and burned an outline of a bobby pin into my thumb and forefinger.
:smack:
Another time, my best friend and I were playing in a ditch blowing up a bunch of green plastic army men with Black Cat firecrackers. You know how sometimes they don’t always explode and you wait a while and then you wait some more? We did that and then started carefully gathering any duds we could find. My friend picked one up, held it up to his eye trying to look inside and declared, “This one’s a dud,” and tossed it to me. It went off just as I caught it, giving me severe burns on my hand. Still, better my hand than his eye.
:smack:
When I was 14 or so, I cut the bottom of my foot with a knife by drawing the blade across the foot’s skin, *just to see what would happen. * Can’t think of a dumber injury.
Yes, it hurt a lot and bled a lot.
I lave my wounds with the tears of my enemies.
Stabbed with a pencil as a kid, someone mentioned stapling their thumb, did that too, chipping away at the ice on a small pond with a buddy in childhood (using pocket knives of course) i decided it would be neat to chip at the exact same spot as him. Have a couple of cool scars from still almost 40 years later
“Don’t put too much faith in this technological toothbrush you’ve created” Darth Desserticola
Had a ballpoint pen in my mouth. Noticed my shoe was untied. Knelt down to tie it. End of pen met my knee on the way down. Took a nice chunk out of the roof of my mouth.
How many can I remember?
As a kid, climbed over a picket gate, got my feet stuck between the pickets, slowly fell forward til my feet lifted out of my shoes and I went down head first.
Result - broken wrist.
Pulling a tray out of the oven too quickly that I was cooking chips on, hot oil ran up my arm from hand to elbow. Very unpleasant burn.
I was walking across the deck when I turned to say something to my buddy. Not realizing that the deck ended then and there, I kept walking, and fell off, landing on the flagstoned patio.
Result: one broken elbow.