Stupid movie!

Cafe Society
1

He’s Just Not That Into You - holy fuck is this a stupid movie! I hated almost all of the characters and wanted them to die horrible deaths. At the least I wanted to reach into the screen and bitch slap them all, hard, numerous times. The only characters I even somewhat liked were Drew Barrymore and Ben Affleck’s characters, and even they made me want to slap them a couple of times. The entire movie goes from scene to scene with people being dumb, acting dumb, on the verge of being or acting dumb, just after acting or being dumb and getting reading to act or be dumb again the next time they show up. I thought it was going to be kinda cute, kinda silly, harmless. Instead my blood was boiling. If any of these people are based in reality, I thank god or at least the heavens above that I don’t know anyone like them, have never known anyone like any of them, and will probably never ever meet let alone get to know anyone like any of them. The characters were as alien to me as the Martians in Mars Attacks, but cuter and with better bodies. I wonder if their heads would explode if one were to play Slim Whitman. One can only hope. The only saving grace is that I saw the film at a free screening and it was worth the money I paid.

IMO, all the “best” parts are in the trailer. Drew Barrymore’s line about “…get rejected by seven different technologies” is the best, and only worthwhile, line in the movie.

Even more stupid was Taken, but at least in Taken, you got to see Liam Neeson kick ass. It was in service to a worthless lying bitch of a daughter, but it’s still a novel concept, so there was that.

2

That should be “getting ready” of course. Teach me to preview or not go into the other room right after I’ve hit Submit.

By the way, IMHO, YMMV and all that jazz regarding the movies.

I love movies. I see a lot of them. I usually try and find redeeming qualities in even the most dismal, but there were precious few in this movie. The only worse movie I’ve seen recently was the beyond dismal Paul Blart: Mall Cop. It will take a lot of sex for my husband to forgive me for dragging him to it. “But honey, it’s supposed to be really cute” will not carry as much weight the next time I use that line on him.

3

Shallow Hall. Every character in that movie needed to die a horrible and painfull death.

4

I dodged a bullet by not seeing that one. It looked too horrible for words.

5

You really need to start checking out Rotten Tomatoes more often.

6

I don’t watch a lot of movies. I liked Shallow Hal. Of course my wife thinks I’m nuts because I also liked Fargo, Napoleon Dynamite, and Harold and whatshisname go to White Castle. Movies that are mainstream bore the shit out of me. Don’t know why, but any movie that tries to take itself seriously is profoundly uninteresting to me.

I haven’t seen “Burn Before Reading” yet but I think this is my kind of movie. Woody Allen is amongst my favourite writers/directors.

7

Nah. First of all, it was free screening. I’ll see just about anything for free. Second, it has a great cast. I like just about all the actors in it. I’d never heard of Ginnifer Goodwin (I ended up hating her character the most) but everybody else, yeah. Third, the director directed The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, which I enjoyed (missed the sequel though). Fourth, it was made by Drew Barrymore’s production company, Flower Films, which has made other films I liked (such as Fever Pitch) and that I would like to support on general principle, not least because it’s Drew Barrymore’s production company, and I adore Drew Barrymore, and because I think that there should be more production companies run by women. Fifth, the trailer made it look halfway decent. Sixth, I very very rarely read reviews in advance; a synopsis and basic information (director, writer, stars) at the very most, because I don’t like to be spoiled. Seventh, several movies ranging from “well, huh, I liked it” to “OH MY FUCKING GOD I ADORE THAT MOVIE!!!” are rated “Rotten” at Rotten Tomatoes, so that’s the last place I’d go to figure out if I actually want to see a movie. Eighth, now that I have gone there to see what’s said about the movie, since it hasn’t opened yet there are only 18 reviews, 8 Fresh and 10 Rotten. Even if I were inclined to trust Rotten Tomatoes, which I’m not, at least, not when a movie is rated Rotten, that’s simply not enough to judge anything by.

If I hadn’t gotten a free pass, I would have paid to see the movie. I’m just glad now that I didn’t have to.

I’ll admit that I’m hardly the film’s demographic, but I have very eclectic taste in movies. I enjoyed Marley & Me AND Wendy and Lucy. I enjoyed Bolt AND Doubt. I enjoyed Milk AND The Wrestler. Maybe I am too old to “get” this movie though, since it’s geared toward 20somethings. Maybe it’s because I’ve been out of the dating pool for so long. Maybe it’s because my relationship is too good. I forgot to mention that the other, MAIN, saving grace of the movie is that it made me want to give my wonderful husband a hug, and it reminded me again, as if I ever needed reminding, just how much I love him, because he’s the love of my life, my soul mate, the polar opposite of any of the dipshit men in the movie*, and we never had to play any of the games that this movie would lead you to believe have to be played nowadays just to try and find happiness. If people really do go through these games I desperately feel sorry for them. Maybe I should have compassion for the characters instead of scorn.

  • Ben Affleck’s character sortof excepted…he’s not a dipshit since he’s a really nice, straightforward honest guy whose bitch of a wife doesn’t deserve him, but he’s a dipshit for other, spoiler, reasons.

I didn’t like Napoleon Dynamite, but I did like the other two. It’s Kumar. I also loved Burn After Reading (it wouldn’t make much sense to burn the file before reading, eh?) and I think you’ll enjoy it, especially if you also enjoyed Raising Arizona and The Big Lebowski.

8

How soon they forget.

9

laugh You’re right, she does have a killer body. She’s not as cute as Drew Barrymore though.

10

Pineapple Express,unfunny,uninteresting and unbelieveable.

Badly written,badly acted and badly directed.

There is a special place in Hell for those who conspire to produce absoloute tripe like this.

11

I can’t imagine why anyone would go to see it. The guy who wrote the book is a total douchebag, an idiot, just icky.

12

Ha, I enjoyed Pineapple Express. It was minor, but fun. Maybe I just like stoner comedies more than “relationship” comedies. I love Up in Smoke, and Harold and Kumar.

Edit to add, I didn’t know He’s Just Not… was based on a book. I gave my reasons for wanting to see it in post 7.

13

I enjoy Stoner comedies as well,which is why this was such a disappointment.
They didn’t seem to get it right showing the main characters stoned.
A Scanner Darkly got it right,Cheech and Chong get it right but these people got it horribly(and unfunnily)wrong.

14

It’s an “advice” book for women and the author is a complete asshole, I can’t think of his name but he made the talk show circuit when it came out and I think even had his own talk show for a bit… Greg Bernhardt or something…http://www.amazon.com/Hes-Just-That-Into-Understanding/dp/068987474X He’s really obnoxious!

15

I missed your free pass explanation… sorry. It was for the same reason I saw “Disturbia”… Two hours of my life I’ll never get back.

16

There are a lot of women out there who have elevated this book to biblical status in their lives because they want a man to love them more than they want anything. There are also a lot of women in this world who want nothing more than to be the real life version of Carrie Bradshaw, and since this guy wrote for S&TC his book is basically the “How to Be Carrie Handbook” and all those women who wish they lived that life are buying the book in hopes that it will make them more like the girls on S&TC.

I never picked up the book because I am a firm believer that if you play games and change the way you are to meet someone you are then either dumped once you stop playing games and get around to being yourself or you are stuck playing games every day for the rest of your life. That being said, I think the movie looks cute based on the previews and I am sad to see other people hated it so much.

17

I had no interest in the movie from jump, probably because I can’t stomach the author. I’ve never picked up the book either, I don’t read a lot of “self help” books and I was subjected to him on so many daytime talk shows (I work from home and usually have ABC on behind me as I like GMA and then the morning drivel just follows) that I came to really dislike him.

18

Ah man, that’s sad. But then, as I said, it’s all alien to me. I was a nerdy, dorky weird person who never chased guys because it would never have occurred to me that any of them would be interested in me. Both my long-term relationships, my very nice and wonderful ex-husband (a highly decent guy, we were just too young, too foolish), and my even nicer and a thousand times more wonderful current husband, were interested first and made the first, honest, no-games move for a serious relationship. Don’t know why, but I guess I lucked out. I didn’t have to play games to get them, they came to me. Maybe I didn’t come off as stinking of desperation, like the sad and pathetic (and nauseatingly stupid) Ginnifer Goodwin character. But none of it was by design. I can’t even imagine reading a book to tell me how get a man, let alone getting the kind of man that I would get through reading a book (who would fall for games).

Well, you know, it’s just my opinion. I usually keep my mouth shut when I don’t like something because lots of people say bad things about movies I like. I just had to let it out and only speak for myself, obviously. Others may like it, it’s not for me to say.

But I’d recommend a matinee.

19

For the record, Ginnifer Goodwin plays Margene, the third wife in Big Love. And in that, she’s excellent.

20

Coen Bros.’ The Ladykillers should have been incredible (top drawer directors and cast, remake of a well-regarded English cult classic), but I never plan to watch it again. I think they just tried too hard to make every single shot “epic.”