I wouldn’t do most of these things. They’re funny to think about, though.
SO true. In old Usenet Cecil Adams threads about waiting tables, I would specifically say, “Don’t piss off the people bringing you your drinks, and food and to whom you are handing your credit cards.”…people in the thread would get FURIOUS, and make outlandish claims like I was lying when I said I’d seen what happens behind the scenes.
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Go to McDonalds and ask for a “McJagger.”
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I ordered the grilled chicken sandwich but the server must have misunderstood me because she replied, “how would you like your eggs?” “Incubated! Then hatched, then raised, then plucked, then cut up and cooked, then placed on a bun. Damn, that’s gonna take awhile, I don’t have time - SCRAMBLED!”
To be fair to you, “automaton” doesn’t have “tron” in it. I think it just sounds vaguely technical. There are lots of real words that include it (like “magnetron”) that sound pretty fake. It’s my own go-to suffix for making up silly robot names.
On a past occasions I have given the name “Par-par” to hear them announce “Par-par party of 4”. But these days most places just give you a vibrating pager.
That’s your chance to ask for seconds.
I was waiting in a restaurant once and heard them call for “Wilde party of six.”
Give you name as Pot
Pot party!
Back when I waitressed, there was a family who would all do this - mom, dad, and 2 or 3 kids.
:mad: :smack:
Many years ago, I worked with a woman whose last name was Donner. We were nowhere near the Sierra Madres, but I wonder if she ever tried that. ![]()
Or, if there are 5 of you, give the last name as “Fox.” When they call you…
The Donner Party got stranded in the Sierra Nevada, not in any of the several ranges known as the Sierra Madre.
I quit going to a McD’s here. If you did indeed dare to order a cheeseburger, plain. You would get a hamburger bun, patty and the yellow wrapper.
A slight twist on the theme, to be used at a non-food oriented establishment. For instance the hardware store…
When asked “would you like a bag/sack for that?”, the reply is “No thanks, I will eat it here”. Doesn’t usually get much of a laugh, although one cashier did give me a straight faced reply of “Sorry we don’t have any seating. This is a take-out only place.”
Go into a McDonald’s and ask for a breakfast sandwich without the meat. I don’t know why, but it drives them crazy. You never heard of vegetarians?
Fortunately, my local Mc’D’s is use to me by now.
Unfertilized.
Penn & Teller had a variation on this. Take one of those little foil-sealed cups of cream and conceal it in your hand, hold your hand over your eye, insert fork.
A propos of nothing : just had a strong Wire flashback.
Man, fuck them West Coast posters. This is the Dope man, we aims to a please a nigga, ya heard ?
FWIW, it was a Silver Streak shout out. ![]()
I totally agree, speaking as a former busboy to partly pay for college.
I know it’s not particularly funny, but we’d have people show up at the restaurant at like midnight or just after to order desert and coffee, and not want to leave – and no one wants to work until 3 AM just serving coffee. So we’d get out the vacuum cleaner and start vacuuming until they got the hint.
At one place I worked, a co-worker of mine seemed to have a real knack for getting things for free at restaurants, whether it was a drink or desert, or the whole meal, by complaining about the food. Even the smallest details would get 'let me talk to your manager. He wouldn’t exactly make stuff up, but it still was embarrassing to be with him – I started to think that maybe they saw him coming and would do stuff to his food on purpose.