Stupid spammers...

The BBQ Pit
1

Short rant, pretty lame … actually more amusing than anything else:

I get spam these days that looks like this:

“Patrick, Why Have You , Not Called , ME ?”

Now, not only do I not know anyone who writes like this EVER (double spaces in between words), but this attempt (seemingly) to make this email stand out does so to a fault:

it stands out like spam.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t use of one’s first name (thus why I get spam such as “iam, increase your penis size 1,537 percent in just five minutes ALL NATURAL!”) supposed to feign personal acquaintance, and thus make you just interested enough in the subject line (“Patrick, is it true what they say about you?” “Patrick, Do you want to make $1,000 in one day?” Iam, are you naked right now?") to open the thing, which is usually like either “we bought your name from a list because we like sending 50K spam email” or "We will never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever stop spamming you. Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever. Oh, buy our product too, whatever it is today!

"To unsubscribe, click this link, then enter our double secret probation code, then howl at the moon for exactly seventeen seconds. Then you’ll grow wings, which you will need to twirl around backward and naked in the air five times forward, three times backward, and six times forward. Then spit on the pen of your aunt and a portal will open. Answer me these questions three, then follow the second star to the right, and straight on 'til morning.

“Oh, you wanted to unsubscribe? Fancy that. We were just trying to waste your time.”

But seriously: “Patrick , Here … is some … , really , icky stuff that is , , ,… , an, , , … , eyesore . It,…, is, really , obvious spam.”

Oh. Right. DIE SPAMMERS DIE! I DO NOT CARE ABOUT BREAST ENLARGEMENT! FUCK! PENIS! ASSHANDLE! COCKWRAPPER! DISEASED UNDERBELLY OF A FRUMINOUS BANDERSNATCH!

2

You must go to some interesting sights to get spmmed like that.

BTW, you do know NOT to unsubscribe from spam, don’t you?

3

I tried this, then I started getting spam from www.prozac.com

4

At least now you know why they asked:

5

I feel the same way about spam. I should set up a good spam filter, but I’m too lazy; for now I manually dump spam in a separate folder. My deep and all pervading desire in this respect is that someone will one day invent a way to electrocute people over the internet. I will then write a program to implement this amazing new discovery, and feed it all the spam I’ve collected.

mmmmm… electrocute spammers… sigh. For now, I gain my pleasure from searching the folder every now and again for toll-free numbers I can crank call. :slight_smile:

6

I’ve been getting a LOT of spam lately (on topics accross the board) from “chinanet.cn” - all, of course, disguised to look like “hotmail” or “aol” or “yahoo” etc. domains, but all originate from chinanet.cn

I just wish I could find filtering software that would look at the ENTIRE e-mail header and not just the “FROM” line to determine what to weed out…

7

IIRC, TVGuy, hotmail does/did that, though they only allow 2 MB storage space.