Stupid Things I Have Done. Or believed.

Beat these, or how dumb am I?

1: As a child I stuck the antenna of a remote control car, into a socket thinking it would charge the dead battery. I was knocked on my ass.
2: On a dare as a child I teased some free roaming cattle in Idaho, ended up being stuck up a tree for 4 hours or so.
3: I ruined my first computer with-in one month, as I opened up the case to clean out the dust, fired up the Hoover and apparently fried something imperative to operate the machine.
4: I once thought I could run reeeealllly fast if I held on to the tailgate of the pickup my brother was driving, while running behind. A few broken bones later…
5: As a young’un I believed my brother when he told me he created a lie detector. So I willingly stepped on the metal plate that was connected to a power source as he “playfully” shocked me.
6: I spent the first night of a camping trip hunting snipe.
7: For the longest time I would not enter a cornfield, as Children Of The Corn was a documentary.
8: Stealing apples on a apple farm in Washington State, taught me that being shot with salt is very painful, more so when I was told jumping in the shower would make it feel better.
Yes, some stupid things, most instigated by the dreaded older brothers.

  1. When Jurassic Park came out in theatres, my older brother told me that the dinosaurs were real, and that scientists were breeding them at Hogle Zoo - which was just up the road from us. I believed him.

  2. In 2nd grade, I went through a major growth spurt and I was falling down a lot and scraping my knees due to my incredible lack of coordination. My brother told me that if I kept falling, I was going to die because of all the blood loss. I believed him.

  3. I thought “Pedestrian” was a religion.

  4. I had a sex dream in 4th grade and was convinced I was pregnant. I was ashamed. My mom laughed at me when I said something about it.

That’s all I can think of right now…

  1. I thought the car would drive off without a driver when Dad left it running and us in it - me crying and panicky.
  2. I thought that you only had to have sex once to have all your babies - I think I must have watched something on aphids or something - “luckily” my know-it-all older sister set me straight.
  3. I thought that a ‘blow-job’ was when you blew on a man’s penis.
  4. I thought I would be a cowboy when I grew up - cause they were way cooler than Indians, although my sisters always wanted to be Indians, so I had to be one too as I didn’t want it to be me against them.
  5. I thought that 17 was grown up! When playing mummies and daddies, my younger sister and I always said we were 17 and had 2 or 3 babies -always thought my older sister was a big nerd because she said she was 21 and only had one baby.
  6. I thought the newsreader could see into our living room so I never walked naked in front of the tv screen.

The big one that I can remember is that when I was 6 or 7 my incle told me that if I chewed on the little pink spoons from Baskin Robbins long enough they would turn into bubble gum.

incle=uncle :smack:

incle=uncle :smack:

I stuck my hand in a blender and turned it on.

I was 16 before I found out that college was optional. Whenever I talked about wanting to drop out of school, my parents told me I could drop out after I finished college. I thought it was a law, until one of my delinquent friends at school told me otherwise.

  1. That toilet water came from the toilet
  2. That Pink Floyd was named after Pretty Boy Floyd.
  3. That it was a good idea to jump off a balcony so that I could land on another balcony. $600 in medical bills and 6 weeks in a cast did actually change this belief.

Hmmm, well, for a while there, I thought that if I had sex with a man, I must love him. I also believed that if I loved a man he must therefore be a good person.

Those were rather painful lessons.

When I was little, my brother, who was two years older than me, told me that if you pulled out all your eyelashes, your eyeballs would fall out. That one still weirds me out a little.

When he turned ten, I thought that was a huge milestone, almost like being an adult. I soon realized it wasn’t much different than being nine.

When I was three, I got hold of my Dad’s razor and attempted to shave myself. I still have an inch-long scar on my chin from that little adventure.

When I was six, I was in the hospital for several months after an operation on my legs. That was around the time the Beatles song Help! was released. I thought it was about a man who was in the hospital and needed help to learn to walk again, pretty much like I had to.

I’d say that’s pretty smart for a six-year-old.

When I was little my mother convinced me that I had to brush my teeth before I went to bed or I would wake up with a headache and feel horribly. Well to this day, if I do not brush my teeth before going to bed, I will wake up with a headache and feel horrible. Stupid mental blocking . .arg

Y’know those big heavy-duty desk-top pencil sharpeners they have in classrooms?

My Auntie Nancy used to have one in her sewing room, so one day when I was about four years old, I decided to sharpen my fingernails in order to more closely resemble a witch (my personal role-fantasy at the time).

It was not a good idea. :smack:

At about 10 years old I was chasing my older brother through the house, I had quite a temper in those days. He slammed a door behind him and the handle dinged me right in the middle of my forehead. A cartoon like scenario ensued as my head swelled up like a football. He was a bit concerned about our parents coming home and seeing me looking like the elephant man and handed me a wet flanel. Which i promptly refused. Right upto the point where he said I’d get brain damage. Grabbed it and slapped it on.

When I was a kid I talked a lot (go figger) and my mother told me if I kept it up, I’d run out of words by the time I was grown up. It didn’t work.
She also told me that if you unbuttoned someone’s bellybutton, their butt would fall off. I don’t think I believed that one either.
Hmmm. I’m not very gullible.
Oh, I guess I once believed that eating a low fat diet would stave off cancer, and that estrogen supplements would reduce bone loss and heart damage. Silly me. :rolleyes:

Tikki, that’s the best childhood surgery anecdote ever, and I doubt that I’ll ever be able to hear that song again without thinking of it.

When I was around five I used to amuse myself by running laps through the house, including an exciting “tunnel” in the kitchen. (ie; under the kitchen table.) That was a great pastime for a while, and also how I eventually came to grok, very suddenly, what that whole “growing” thing was about, when I found myself in excess of the maximum headroom.

We used to have horse stables that were made very creatively by removing one wall each from some tiny little guest houses on our property and using the bathtubs for troughs and whatnot. One morning (also when I was about five, which was a rough year) I crept out and broke some of the windows out with a stick, because it seemed like the thing to do. A big piece of glass slid straight down the stick and onto my left hand, slicing it open across the base of my thumb to the base of my index finger. I had consciousness of guilt, and my main concern was that my injury was going to get me caught out – so I ran back to the house, and very quietly made my way to bathroom, and began climbing up the steppy-stool to get onto the counter and into the medicine cabinet to get the necessary first aid.

My mom, at this point realized something wasn’t right – furtive sounds. Too quiet. However it is that moms know what’s up. She called from another part of the house and asked what I was doing. “Uh… Getting a band-aid.” So she comes to investigate and finds quite a trail of big fat drops of blood, and me sitting on the counter, trying to wrap a band-aid around my thumb. She takes the band-aid away and examines my boo-boo. It’s a good one: There’s this neat severed tendon sticking out of it, twitching.

Turns out you need to go to the hospital for that sort of thing. :smack:

As for stupid beliefs, I believed my brother for an embarrassingly long time when he told me that cottage cheese was harvested from the eavestroughs of cottages in the deep damp woods. No way was I eating that!

I used to think that women got pregnant just from being around men. Well, at least I had half of the puzzle figured out, but I didn’t know there was another step involved. When I learned of that other step I thought all the man had to do was pee into the woman and nine months later… a baby!

In second grade a teacher threatened to send me to “the guillotine” if I didn’t straighten up my behavior. When I asked her what a guillotine was I was mortified, thinking they might really chop my head off!

When I was little a family friend who was about 5 years older than me liked to tell me I had a phone call from “The Wolf” whenever I went over. This wolf would tell me in a diabolical voice that he wanted to eat me. It was just her on the extension, of course. I don’t think it ever really scared me but I hated going to her house all the same.

When I was 4 or so I told my parents that I was pregnant with a baby I’d conceived in a former life but had died before it could be born. I was really pissed that they didn’t take me seriously.

Besides that, my childhood is marked by a distinct lack of stupid episodes.

I’ve done the chasing cow thing. I still have a 6-inch long scar across my knee from the barbed wire fence I (and my friends) leapt to get away from the very angry cow.

I’ve also sharpened my pinky nail in the electric sharpener. I didn’t hurt myself much, luckily.