My husband admitted to a drug problem about a year ago. He is to submit to random drug testing, with orders that if he refuses, I am to throw him in to rehab immediately. I had a lot of anger that I am still learning to deal with. BTW, he has been perfect. Doing as much as he possibly can to make up for what he has done. That being said, we got into a fight one night and I threw a pee cup at him and told him to piss in it.
It wasn’t nice, and I felt like a heel when he calmly grabbed the cup, went to the bathroom and peed in it.
I had a friend who got into a “silent treatment” fight with her husband because one of them left the toilet running. They both refused to get up and adjust the flusher to make it stop. Total silence for two weeks.
I haven’t done any of that, but I used to have a room whose door you had to pull as you twisted the knob, or it wouldn’t open.
Once I woke up, wondered where by bf was, found him in the living room. I ask “what are you doing there?” “you locked me out” “uh?” OK, so I explain about having to pull. This incident happened several times.
On the occasion of telling him I didn’t want to see him again, he brought up my “locking him out” again. TAER.
Mom got mad at me when I went to a college 400km away, instead of one 1h away. When I came home for Xmas, my large, airy bedroom had become a small sitting room and my bed had migrated to the smallest room in the house, along with a huge new wardrobe that I absolutely hate.
She got mad again when I got accepted into Grad School in Miami. For a month she wouldn’t talk to me, but since I was doing most of the shopping and over half the cooking, this was a bit of a problem. So she’d shove the shopping list or the menu list at me I didn’t roll my eyes because I didn’t want to feed the fire, but my bros did it for me.
Beats me. She cried and cried, but would not give in. Neither would he. Eventually, someone broke the silence and they made up, but it was one of those struggles of will that made no sense to either of them, yet they continued to hold their ground. Hey…the OP is about stupid shit, and I gotta say…mine was worse than this one. People can be really stupid!
We got into a ridiculous argument over what to watch on TV. I told her I was leaving her and walked out the door. Smugly assuming she couldn’t live without me, I figured I’d let her twist in the wind for a week or so, and then make a big show of forgiving her and taking her back.
So I called her a week later, and she told me to go take a flying leap.
Sure showed her. :smack: :smack: :smack:
(Note to Polecat: Learn what the phrase “overplaying your hand” means.)
It depends on the people involved, IMO. I don’t think fighting or lack thereof has anything to do with a healthy relationship. If you are both the kind of people that need to occasionally vent and let off steam in the form of fights, then you will have fights. If not, then not.
I threw a bucket of water on my husband while he was in bed. This was before we were married. I was furious that he refused to get up and help me with the chores. Unfortunately, he was in my bed at the time.
The annoyances that Mr. Neville causes me are almost always so minor compared to other annoyances in my life, they get lost in the noise.
When I need to blow off steam, I generally fire up a good conquer-the-world computer game and have at it. (Shooter games don’t work for this, because I’m so bad at them, that just generates more frustration)
Oh, good lord woman, you are evil. I’ll have to remember that one…
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with arguing, and I think the line between fighting occasionally (arguing and saying stupid crap and pushing buttons) and FIGHTING (saying unforgiveable things, screaming, throwing things, hitting) isn’t being drawn here. People argue. No two people are alike and eventually you are going to find a conflict. Saying there is zero conflict in your marriage doesn’t mean you and your spouse have never disagreed, it just means you feel it isn’t important enough to make an issue out of it. Which is great, if it works for you. Personally, if something bugs me, I need to tell my partner, or I’ll end up resenting him for it down the road and taking it out on him in little passive aggressive ways. Been there, done that, got the divorce to prove it.
My husband and I fight sometimes, though we’re mature enough to stop ourselves from saying anything stupid. The stupidest thing I ever did in a conflict was as follows:
Normally, I change the litter box in the house. One time, though, I just didn’t want to do it, and I asked him if he would change it. He said that he would. He didn’t do it that day; I figured he was busy. He didn’t do it the next day.
Now, he’s told me that he used to get upset at his mom because when she asked him to do something, she’d get upset if he didn’t do it “right this minute,” even though he was going to do it. I decided to test this theory. I was not going to change the damn litter box, no matter how long it took him.
I didn’t say anything for a week. Then I started politely mentioning it. That was all.
Two and a half weeks, ladies and gents, from the time that I asked him, to the time that it actually got done. In retrospect. . .that was really, really mean to do to the cats, but it did demonstrate that, no, he really isn’t going to do it in a little bit. Still. . .I have to live in the house, too. Stupid, stubborn me.
Of course, then I hurt my back pretty badly, and he changed it for me right when I asked (litter is freakin’ heavy!). Spoil all my fun by being nice. . .
I don’t really remember in this case, but usually he just starts gradually being more communicative. Sometimes he starts talking again out of necessity, like he wants me to do something or to give him some money and needs more opportunity for discussion than email affords.
I just have to laugh, especially when he removes me from his IM list. :rolleyes: What isn’t funny is that I never do find out what I did to make him so mad. He just can’t talk about things that bother him.
I think that people who are focused on “who’s right” (and in particular, those who feel THEY were the one who was “right”) are typically those who employ the silent treatment.
My wife got mad at me once (she was drunker than I have ever seen her) and tried to jump out of our Mercedes going about 75 miles per hour. Her foot dragged along the street and she had some nice ‘roadburn’.
She sure showed me.
Side note—we are not violent, this was a one-time thing and she has never had that much to drink since this occasion.
We don’t fight often and really don’t have anything big to fight over. The most recent was last weekend when we were at a wedding reception. After dinner, my husband went across the street to the bar to play pool with his friends and never bothered to make an appearance at the dance, even though I requested that he come over twice. It was nearing midnight and I was out of money, so I went over to the bar and asked him for money so I could buy a drink. He asked, “Are you still dancing over there?” To which I replied, “Yep. And you’re still a dick.” Then I went back to the dance. The fight lasted for all of about 10 minutes though. I can’t stay mad at him.
The funniest thing I ever did was in response to my husband’s sloppy kitchen habits. I swear, the man can make toast and totally trash the kitchen. He uses a good half-dozen bowls and pans just to make popcorn. He also has problems cleaning up after himself. He always leaves his pizza box/cardboard disc on the counter when he makes a frozen pizza. So one time I decided I’d just leave it there to see if he noticed. I cleaned around it for a week and a half before I finally gave in and threw it away. Then I told him about my experiment. He laughed and said, “Darn it! You should have left it there. I would have figured it out eventually.”
My boyfriend and I don’t fight much. I’m a recovering doormat, so most of the arguments that we do have are little squabbles about nothing much, as I try to figure out how to respectfully disagree with someone I love. The worst fight we ever had (and I honestly don’t remember what we were fighting about) ended when I finally broke down and sobbed “Yes, you’re right. I’ll do whatever you want, say whatever you want, be whatever you want, if you’ll just stop being mad at me.” It really wasn’t meant as a manipulation tactic - I really was so upset that I’d do anything to make it stop - but he was horrified that, after trying so hard to grow a backbone, I’d let it all go just to have peace.
The only time I’ve ever really “punished” him, we were having an incredibly stupid fight and he ended up leaving (mid-fight) to have dinner with friends. After he left I grabbed a couple of CDs, got in my car, and drove aimlessly for almost four hours. He had a miserable time at dinner because he felt so bad about picking a fight with me, and by the time I got back he’d been home for quite a while, and he was worried sick.
My wife and I don’t have knock down drag out fights but we do fight, we also bicker quite a bit. Both of us are pretty argumentative. I’ve slammed doors and stuff like that. She’s yelled a bit as well. They usually blow over a bit.
The funniest dumb argument that I’ve seen was one that parents had when I was a teenager. They got into a dumb argument about something and my dad kicked a bookshelf and knocked it over. They then commuted to work together in total silence. That afternoon, my dad called me up and asked me to put the bookshelf back up and pick up the books so mom wouldn’t be reminded and start the argument over again. It was pretty funny then and I’m chuckling over it now. My parents have been married for ages and get along well but both mom and dad love a good argument and have a flair for the dramatic.
I didn’t roll my eyes because I didn’t want to feed the fire, but my bros did it for me.
