Stupidity Runs In The Family This Season

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So, as usual at Thanksgiving, the local casinos offer “free” pumpkin pies. My SO and I went to the local casino and picked up our pies and then, of course, dropped a few coins in the machines on the way out – that is the purpose of giving locals “free” pies, so you play the machines as long as you are there.

I put in $20 and so did my SO. He won nothing, but I won $100! Yeah! So I pulled out the $100 ticket (you redeem them at a machine for cash) and set in on the machine and we each played another $20. Didn’t win anything and time to go, except SO was hungry and I had the two pies, so he suggested eating at a restaurant in the casino and I said I would take the pies to the car and he should go to the restaurant to get a table.

Halfway to the car, I realized I left the $100 coupon on the machine! Dashed back, but it was too late…someone had snatched up the coupon. I now had two “free” pies that just cost me $180. Pissed me off for days that I was that stupid to leave the coupon there – had never been that dumb before.

Told my older brother and he thought it was funny.

Then my older brother sent his story of the season today:

“So, I scored a good buy earlier this week on a used table-top propane heater for the patio. My neighbor sold me his “like-new” Endless Summer patio heater for $45. New ones sell for $110.

But like most “great” deals I fall into, it never quite turns out as planned.

For my new heater, I needed a propane tank. $20
Then, I needed to fill the tank with propane. $17
And the hose appeared dried out. Replaced it. $27

Total cost to get my $45 heater ready to heat: $109 (remember, new ones are $110)

But, it gets better.

It doesn’t work.

After trying unsuccessfully for about an hour, my fix-anything neighbor stepped in. “I think ya’ gotta’ bad thermocouple.”

“Okay, how much will that cost?”

“About $45.”

Alrightee, then.

So, if you’re planning to come over to hang out on my patio…bring gloves.”
I wrote my older brother back today:

“Well, at least we got to eat our $180 pies…”

2

You’re not going to eat those pies cold are you?

3

Stupidity Runs In The Family: Part II

My brother wrote me today:

“So, I bought a new electric shaver Saturday. I brought it home and plugged it in to let it charge. A few hours later, I disconnected the electric cord and clicked the shaver’s ON button.

Nothing.

I reconnected the electric cord and it worked. So, I let it charge another hour.

Disconnected it again, and still nothing. Great.

I boxed up the razor, grabbed the receipt and returned to the store. Frustrated, I explained my problem to the clerk.

She read the outside of the box for a minute or so, then gave me the “idiot customer look” over the top of her glasses.

“Says here, sir, you own an electric razor. It don’t say nothin’ ‘bout it bein’ cordless…”

But again, stupidity runs in the family and I was able to write him my recent story:

So yesterday, I decided to make coffee in the coffee machine we bought for you and the cousins when you visited last summer (we rarely drink it and used the old water kettle and filter method).

I put the coffee in the filter in the machine.
Then I filled the coffee pot with water.
Then I proceeded to pour said water into the coffee filter.
Luckily SO was watching and said, “STOP!”

I guess you are supposed to pour the water in the back of the coffee machine so it can get hot first.
Newfangled inventions.
SO is still laughing and has related this story to everyone who will listen.

(Hey, in my defense, I haven’t made coffee in a machine in probably 10 years…)

4

I believe that you probably did that in my casino. (Note, I am an I.T. guy, don’t deal with the slots*). If that happens again, go by security and they can usually run back the tapes and see who snagged your ticket. Sometimes you can get it back.

On a good note, those pies are pretty damned good.

Slee

*I actually keep all the slots on the network and program/maintain all the switches/routers/etc. I don’t know jack about the actual slot machines themselves though…

5

DMark: I strongly suggest you not go to that famous Vegas rent-a-machinegun place for a little pre-Christmas stress relief. There’s just too many ways for that to turn out badly.

:wink:

6

Reminds me of an episode of Spongebob.

Mr Krabs: Lock up when you’re done

Spongebob, terrified: But Mr Krabs, don’t you remember what happened last time you left me alone to lock up?

Mr Krabs, thinking about his restaurant up in flames: Oh yeah, that was my fault for leaving you alone with the blowtorch and roller skates. You should be okay now that I have all the welding equipment out of here.

7

It was at The M Resort, and I did go to security but they told me basically I was SOL. They said more or less “losers weepers finders keepers”.
I said what if I had lost my wallet, and they said, “that would be different as you would have your name in there. The coupon has no name on it.”
So, I tried…

8

Yes, I can hear the story on the news now, “So DMark was shooting the machine gun when someone asked him what time it was and he turned to them to say…”