Yesterday at the store:
Customer: Do you carry mouse pads?
Me: No, we don’t. Sorry
Customer: You know, the type for computers.
Gee, I’m glad you clarified that. I thought you meant exercise equipment for mice.
I once knew a whole family who had somehow become possessed of the belief that two objects dropped at the same time would land at the same instant, even if dropped from different heights.
Of course I immediately held something 1" from the floor and something else 3’ from the floor and dropped them both … oh but that was different, obviously it wouldn’t apply in that case. I could never pin down under exactly what conditions they thought this happened, nor how and why they thought things worked that way. Objects further from the earth would have to somehow fall faster than those closer to it … they couldn’t explain why that was, but were unshakably certain it was so.
Later on I wondered if it might have been a garbled version of Galileo’s experiments or something. But I’d lost contact with them by then, so I’ll never know.
Might have been some misunderstanding of the concept of terminal velocity.
Back when I was much younger there was this “cowboy” who had trouble catching his horse – even tho when it ran from him and he managed to corner and rope it he would beat the H3** out of it… That was to “Learn him not to run”… Amazingly,the horse would run faster and further.
I’ve seen people do this with their dogs and their children.
Kids understand “IF” … Horses/dogs do not. I put a lot of time and cookies into making my horses&dogs understand that when they came to me,they were “Good”.
Well,kids too.
Other people have mentioned this one not being that dumb and I will add that the food pyramid lists eggs as dairy so it’s not that unusual for someone to want to clarify whether or not you also meant eggs.
I thought maybe they wanted tiny feminine hygiene products for the female mice. The mouse pads are a lot more practical than the mouse tampons.
See, given that he ultimately came back from the dead, the “after” part would refer to the event, not some sort of demise – since he is not really dead now, because of his divinity, or something. But his birth kind of predestined him to his death, so there is, like a hysteresis that firmly ties the two together: he can be thought of as both alive and dead at the same time.
Schrodinger’s Messiah.
This one is so bad, I have to spoiler it. My cousin is a primo bullshitter, to the point that I am not even sure if he himself believes the noxious fumes that issue from his mouth. While stationed at Schofield, he would mail us cassettes on which he would ramble on (and we responded in kind). Once, he was sitting in the barracks talking to the recorder when a bunch of other guys showed up and we got to listen to their conversation. The subject of one particular soldier came up because he had to have one of his testicles removed. Sounding serious and authoritative, my cousin declared
it was the left onethat’s the shooting ballso, now it just dribbles out:eek::dubious::smack:
That’s one seriously weird place to put eggs… here they go in the “meat, eggs and beans” group (aka proteins).
I’ve probably told this one before, but once I went to a small post office to buy stamps, and Joseph Priestley was featured on one set. Being dim on science history I said, hmm, what is he famous for?
The clerk said with complete confidence, “oh, he invented oxygen.”
I said, “And it took this long to get around to putting him on a stamp?!”
But she didn’t get it.
Golly–what did people breathe before that? 
I was told back in 7th grade that all rivers run north to south, as most do in North America. I once showed him how the Nile river runs almost directly south to north and he insisted that the map was wrong.
Right. And Ben Franklin invented electricity. That misconception is debunked in, of all places, one of L. Frank Baum’s Oz books.
No, Ben Franklin * discovered * electricity. Bugs Bunny told us that–he quoted Franklin as saying, “I have to discover electricity!” [Cross-eyed emoticon goes here]
Actually, Ben Franklin didn’t even do that. He just proved that lightning was a form of electricity.
Hey, that reminds me. I once watched a children’s TV show where they actually said that Sir. Isaac Newton invented gravity.
I guess before that we were all just floating around the planet.
In high school we had two foreign exchange students - one from Australia and one from New Zealand. Some of the mouth breathers I went to school with insisted they MUST have known each other before they came, because the countries were right next to each other.
(Separated by ocean - and of course, you know everyone in Canada, right?)
Cool whip
Some kid wrote, “It is not true, the story of Benjamin Franklin flying his kite in a thunderstorm. Only a nut would try it.” (in the cartoon, Bugs gets hit by the lightning and flashes like a cheap neon sign. He mutters, "Humph! * He * discovered electricity! ")
Was it this one?
