Subtle signs that you're getting older

In My Humble Opinion
61

Grey hair…anyplace other than the head;

The first time you buy Preparation H without embarassment;

“That’s not music–that’s just noise!”

Anything less than $1 isn’t worth bending over to pick up (courtesy MAD Magazine);

Carding is no longer a compliment

62

I normally don’t feel old. While I have some subtle hints, they’re so subtle that I don’t notice them much at all. I see old geezers all around me, and dread when I get old like them.

Then I realize that they’re my age.

63

Not so subtle one, today. Went to the drugstore at noon, when I got there, noticed it was seniors day. Prepared myself to stand in line forever behind a bunch of old people. Actually didn’t have to stand in line too long, gave my items to the cashier, she rang it up, came to thirty-one something. As I was getting out my money, she hit a button, and all of a sudden it was twenty-five something. I paid, and it wasn’t until I got back to my office and looked at my receipt that I realized …she’d given me the seniors’ discount.

64

When you realize that the high school chicks in the tight clothes that you’re admiring are young enough to be your daughters, without having knocked someone up underage.

That, and the realization that you’d rather hang around with the wife and other married couples at restaurants instead of drinking beer at bars with your single friends.

65

Any kids walking on your lawn? :wink: (You’re a full 13 years older than I am.)

66
  1. You’re older than the kid taking your order at a fast food joint.
  2. You’re older than all the employees in the restaurant.
  3. You see an attractive mother-daughter group, and the mom interests you most.
  4. You realize eying HS girls and then college girls, is kind of sleazy.
  5. People say things like, “I used to do that, but now it hurts too much.”
  6. You stop doing things, like sitting on the floor, because it hurts too much.
  7. You hurt yourself sleeping.
  8. Your older than all the nurses at the doctor’s office.
  9. The AARP join-us-now mailer ceases to be funny.
  10. You ask your barber to trim your eyebrows.
  11. The nurses at your doctor’s office say things like, “Wow, you look really good for your age.” (just today dammit!)
  12. Your barber stops asking about your eyebrows.
  13. You pick your doctor by how skinny their fingers are.
  14. You’re older than your doctor.
  15. You see an attractive mother-daughter group, and the grandmother interests you most. (Or, women you’ve always found attractive are now grandmothers.)
  16. Coworkers stop saying things like, “Soandso creeps me out because they’re always talking about health matters.”
  17. Talking about colonoscopies seems natural.
  18. Women stand up and offer you a seat on the bus/train.
  19. Your mom doesn’t want to walk around town with you, because you make her feel old.
67

One of my customers is young, I didn’t know how young until she mentioned that she just got her drivers license. I wasn’t flirting but I was noticing.
She is the same age as my daughter. No!
Just shoot me now.

68

When you realize that the things that seemed like they took place forever before you were born, were only 10-20 years before you were born. For me, a big one was the Kennedy assassination (with apologies to those members who remember it). When I was a kid, “old” people talked about where they were when they heard the news, the grainy footage, etc. It felt like AGES before I was born. I’m 33. I was born 11 years after Kennedy was assassinated. Also, the realization that 11 years is nothing.

Realizing that events of your childhood are the “forever ago” events of current college students. To them, the Berlin Wall has been down since the dawn of time. Most of my childhood is seen, to them, as ancient history. This especially applies to technology. They don’t know about the Atari 2600, dot matrix printers, or monochrome monitors. Before too long, we’ll have adults who think the internet was always there.

When your favorite movies and music are called “classics.”

When you plan something and, regardless of how long it is until then, it doesn’t seem like it will be a long wait.

As a kid, if dinner wasn’t ready for another 15 minutes, you were in hell for what seemed like half a day until you got food. Now, 15 minutes is how long it takes to get up and go pee.

69

Time really does seem to speed up. I expect when I’m in my 70’s that life will just be a blur.

70

I’m 49.

Today isn’t a blur, but yesterday is.

71

You make a pop culture reference and no one knows what the hell you’re talking about.

72

You try to talk to your coworkers about, hey, remember that first Gulf War? Where were you then? --“In kindergarten”.

73

You spend ages just admiring walking sticks in the store.

You seriously consider buying a stairlift

74

Women (or men, depending) lose interest in you.You fade into the background, and realise your dating days are over. :frowning:

75

Last night. 9pm. I announced, without a hint of irony, ‘‘Oh my god, I am so excited that I am going to bed right now! I can’t wait to sleep!’’

I’m 24.

At this age, getting older does creep up on you. My first clue was when my teenage sister-in-law went to an awesome rock concert with some band I’d never heard of and mentioned that the openers were Oasis, some band she’d never heard of. People have started calling me ‘‘ma’am.’’ Politics become more and more relevant with each passing day–I am raptly fascinated by the primary race going on right now. I’ve started to relate to my grandfather – we’ve talked about investing, home mortgages, and all those other things that you politely ignored when you were young. I just started saving for retirement this year, and I’m worried that we’re heading for a recession.

sigh

76

I personally started with the gray hair when I was in my early 20s, so that’s not a big deal, but my little brother was complaining about getting gray hair over the holidays, which freaked me out!

77

I’ve started griping about the mufflers on the Honda Civics in the neighborhood. It sounds like a bunch of maniacs are running around with chainsaws.

78

I don’t think you have to be old to be bothered by those ridiculous soup can mufflers - just a normal person (who doesn’t think cars should sound like sewing machines, and thinks mufflers should, you know, sort of muffle the sound a car makes).

79

I look forward to any weekend in which I don’t have anything planned.

And I just realized that when Dwight Eisenhower was my age, he was supreme commander of the European Theater in WWII. God, I’ve been such a slacker.

80

I don’t recover from working out as fast.

In my 20’s, I could go hard 5 days straight, one day off for months.

Now, I need an extra day off every few weeks.

I TOTALLY understand why real athletes who hit this age want to use steroids.