Subtle signs that you're getting older

In My Humble Opinion
101

Grey hair? I wish! Mine has turned this awful shade of “gone”. But, yeah, if I could only channel the growth power of my ears and eyebrows, where I feel like a frickin’ Chia-pet.

I used to be able to have a quick skip to the loo during a commercial break. I thought I still could, till I came out and found out I had missed a segment of the programme and was now in the second commercial break. Now I’m worried that the ratio of the size of my bladder to the size of my prostate is becoming an inverse relationship.

What’s really slamming it home is: 1) I just got released from the Canadian Forces…after 20 years, it’s called “retirement”. So I am now, as far as the Gov’t of Canada is concerned, bot “retired” AND a “veteran” (all honourably released personnel are now “veterans”). So, I am a “retired veteran.”

  1. I decided to go back to school. Everybody who I meet for the first time thinks I’m faculty. And that includes some faculty.

  2. Last New Year’s Eve, my wife and I were trying to decide on our party plans. The Waterfront? The downtown scene? That fancy restaurant we had been meaning to try? That party at a friend’s house? A romantic moonlight buggy ride?

Nope. The wife and I stayed home, ordered Chinese, and popped a bottle of sparkling peach soda from Ikea. I had to wake her up twice where she dozed on the sofa: once at 10.30 to phone her folks back home, and once at midnight for the, ah, “bubbly”.

  1. No. 3 didn’t bother me.

This whole thread actually reminds me (obliquely) of some sitcom re-run I saw, I think it was “Who’s the Boss?”. Anyway, Tony has a falling out with an old friend who’s a priest, and goes to his downtown mission to make up with him. The friend is a bit grudging, so Tony gives an poignant speech about the importance of friends etc, capping it with “What’s more important than family?”
An old guy playing cards at a table behind him grumbles, “Bran!”

Now I find myself looking for the number of grams of fibre in my food purchases. Alas.

102

I am so loving this thread.

I’m there. I’m with ya.

Waking up early is the thing with me. 6.00AM used to be purely theoretical - I’d heard of it, but never seen one. Now I’m often rising and shining at 5.30Am. Even heard myself describing it as “the best part of the day” last week.

M

103

I’d neglected that one. In college, I struggled to get up in time for lunch. Now, if the kids need to be somewhere by 5:30 am, I’m the logical choice to get them there, because I’ll already be up, so I can meet my friends.

When I went to college my dad, who was a professor himself, commented that, when he was a graduate student, the students seemed too young. When he started at his college, the graduate students seemed too young. Now the professors seemed too young.

104

I forgot this one, told to me by my mother. She thought she was getting old when she realized that the first page she read in the newspapers was the obituaries, to see if there was anyone she knew.

105

That is because you are weird.
:smiley: