So the Pentagon has made balls of rocket fuel that bounce around at random and they don’t see anything wrong with such an absurdly dangerous weapon? How do they expect to deliver them? ‘Front towards enemy’ doesn’t quite seem to cut it when the whole point is that they bounce around at random like a ferret on speed. I’m guessing they’ll have to use cruise missiles, or Jerry Lee Lewis.
I love America. 
No sarcasm actually intended at all there, it just amuses me to learn things like this. We have the technology and the minds to make some of the most precise and deadly possibly weapons out there and what do we make? FLAMING BOUNCY BALLS OF DOOM!
I do see the practical use in them, I mean the Empire could have Crushed the Rebellion on Hoth if they had launched a few of these suckers into those low lying bases at the start of the Star Wars VII. I assume that’s the point of these suckers too.
Didja notice the part about the “underground bunker”? That’s a clue. It means they’re not planning on dropping them on a building, but putting them in a bunker busting bomb, so the things will be detonated underground. Ideally, they’ll be used on the ones with a nifty motion detector so that when Akbar pops his head up from under the table and sees the bomb sticking through the ceiling, and he stands up to tell Ahkmed that its safe to come out, the thing’ll go off.
This would be so much funnier if it read “…when Akbar pops his head up from under the table and sees the bomb sticking through the ceiling, and he stands up to tell Jeff that its safe to come out…”
It would be completely awesome if they had 3 finger holes in them and they could be launched like a bowling ball. How American would that be?
See, I’m just wondering now… How big can the Balls get?
They seem to be enough to fill a missile up, and there’s talk in the article of shoulder mounted or grenade versions of these things… But I’m now curious to know what like a 10 foot wide Giant Bouncy Ball of doom could do rolling across the countryside…
I like that. They “might.” It’s possible! Who can say, really? We have no idea until we try.
One major eco-catastrophe later:
“No one could have predicted that firing off randomly directed flaming projectiles inside an underground weapons lab could have resulted in a major eco-catastrophe.”
This is just what America needs in its ongoing search to identify WMD sites abroad: even less precision. “Weeell… that shelter COULD be a hospital… or those signs could be a trick to hide the anthrax labs. Better fire a couple o’ them Superballs in there just to make sure.”
Mother fuck, am I glad that Obama was elected.
I think many of the toys you see on the shelf have Pentagon origins. Hey, free R&D!
Wow, when I think back of how much havoc I caused back in my misspent youth with an ordinary bouncy ball… Oh, the things I could have done with a flaming, self-propelled one! I would’ve ruled kindergarten with an iron fist…
Where do you think Mentos + Diet Coke came from?
Goodness Gracious!
That would explain lawn darts.
This is nothing new; we used to do the same thing with tennis balls and isopropyl alcohol when I was a kid. Glue a small stem of copper pipe that has been constricted and you have the Will-O-Wisp Bomblet bouncing all around.
Do not try this at home unless you live in a concrete bunker.
Stranger
And Pop Rocks.
snerk
Actually, come to think of it, perhaps the vice-versa is the case.
So this Pentagon weapons researcher was sitting down to dinner with the family one evening. He turns to his 13 year-old-son, and says “Son…if I were to design the coolest weapon in the known universe, what would it be?”
You never pulled the ball out of a roll-on deoderant and set it aflame? We used to do that all the time in the locker room.
Do not taunt bouncing Flaming Rocket Ball of Doooooom.