Sue the guy/gal who invented Spandex for cruel and unusual punishment of the masses. (have you seen your grandma in Spandex? I have.)
Sue my ex-girlfriend for all my CD’s back.
Sue the pistachio people for ruining my thumbnials.
Sue Gates for ruining my eyes (not to mention sanity).
Sue the coffee people for contributing to my dependancy (though I really don’t mind).
Sue YKK because I’ve zipped my penis up too many times.
Sue my high school cheerleader teem for not putting out.
Sue Cameron Diaz and Sandra Bullock for not returning my calls.
Sue the porn minions for emailing me so damned much, and then not deleting me off their lists.
Sue the cops because the handcuffs bruised my wrists.
Sue the neighbor’s dog for crapping in my yard.
Sue the gov’t because the dog didn’t get it’s subpeona.
Sue my mom for cruel and unusual punishment because the ice cream melted on the way home.
Sue Lemmings because I lost sanity, hair, and sleep.
Sue Cecil because he never responded to my email.
Sue me because I procrastinated my senior year away.
Well, I’m sure I’ll think of more.