sue who?

Thinking about Dennis Leary “suing Dan Fogelberg for making me into a pussy in the 70s” and reading all the legal/lawsuit topics: If you could sue anybody, who would it be and for what?

It’s not limited to actual live people and the frivolousness (frivolity?) doesn’t matter- sue God, ween, satan, aquaman, Torquemada, the rainbow wig guy, Urkel, (or name them all in the same suit) for any reason you want. It doesn’t matter.

I wouldn’t sue me if I were you…

I’d sue Bill Gates - It just seems like the in-thing to do…

Brian O’Neill
CMC International Records

ICQ 35294890
AIM Scrabble1
Yahoo Messenger Brian_ONeill

Am I guaranteed to win?

If so, I’d sue Gates for releasing software with so many known bugs and hidden tricks. I’d only ask for one billion dollars, I’m not greedy. :wink:

Of course I don’t fit in; I’m part of a better puzzle.

The whole damn entertainment industry, books included. I belong to a profession that is NEVER portrayed in a positive light. Lawyers can bitch all they want, but at least some of their portrayals are heroic.
I am a security officer. In any other society that profession would be considered to be the best of the best, the “Cavalier”, the “Musketeer”, the “Royal Guard”. It used to be that only the most trusted could even hope to attain that position. Now Hollywood shows us to be old or overweight, extremely stupid, and usually the first to die in any confrontation.
Lawyers and politicians have it easy compared to us.

Sue the guy/gal who invented Spandex for cruel and unusual punishment of the masses. (have you seen your grandma in Spandex? I have.)

Sue my ex-girlfriend for all my CD’s back.

Sue the pistachio people for ruining my thumbnials.

Sue Gates for ruining my eyes (not to mention sanity).

Sue the coffee people for contributing to my dependancy (though I really don’t mind).

Sue YKK because I’ve zipped my penis up too many times.

Sue my high school cheerleader teem for not putting out.

Sue Cameron Diaz and Sandra Bullock for not returning my calls.

Sue the porn minions for emailing me so damned much, and then not deleting me off their lists.

Sue the cops because the handcuffs bruised my wrists.

Sue the neighbor’s dog for crapping in my yard.

Sue the gov’t because the dog didn’t get it’s subpeona.

Sue my mom for cruel and unusual punishment because the ice cream melted on the way home.

Sue Lemmings because I lost sanity, hair, and sleep.

Sue Cecil because he never responded to my email.

Sue me because I procrastinated my senior year away.

Well, I’m sure I’ll think of more.

Hey! What’d I do to you?

Babar 714: [[Sue YKK because I’ve zipped my penis up too many times.]]

Y’know, after the first time or two you’re supposed to learn not to do that, lest you acquire the nickname “shorty.”

I’m gonna sue every woman who ever rejected me–intentional infliction of emotional distress. I’m also gonna sue every guy who’s better looking than I am–for negligent infliction of emotional distress–and seek an injuction compelling them to stop it.

I’m gonna sue my father, for giving me his disappearing hair. I’m gonna sue my mother for giving me her sense of direction…assuming I can find the courthouse, that is.

I’m gonna sue Bill Clinton, just 'cause I like watching him lie under oath.

I’m suing Bill Gates, on the grounds that I want his money.

I’m gonna sue Mojo, on the grounds that he compelled me to waste my valuable time answering this question. I may sue Torq too, just for the hell of it.

Rich Barr
AOL Instant Messenger: Hrttannl