Suggested new ending for Waterworld (minor spoiler)

At the end where the little girl wanders down the beach sad because The Mariner is going to leave - we suddenly realize that Dry Land is the same island as Jurassic Park as a T Rex reaches over the trees and chomps her.

Think it was called Isla Nublar.

As the girl wanders away, the camera suddenly zooms out, and we can see the Solar System is plunging into a dense spiral arm of the Milky Way galaxy. Neutral hydrogen and cosmic dust suddenly penetrate our planet’s atmosphere. The ocean world begins to freeze and the planet turns into Snowball Earth.

It would be a lot more meaningful to my generation if she wandered into quicksand. We knew from those old movies and TV shows that this was quite common and to be expected. (Turned out not to be as big a concern after all.)

@mixdenny We should start a whole new thread on silly/hilarious/implausible/ironic alternate endings.

I agree. I wonder how that would end.

Jesus comes back and turns it into Wineworld.

The McKenzie brothers would turn it into Beerworld.

If all the ice melted, the sea level would only rise about 230 feet- 70 meters. Lots of mountains and even hills would be above water.

She rounds a hill on the beach and comes across the Statue of Liberty with just the head and torch poking up above the water.

She rounds a hill on the beach and comes across seven stranded castaways here on Gilligan’s Isle…

She rounds a hill on the beach…

  • And sees the head of the Sphinx in the sand.
  • And sees the Ark of the Covenant.
  • And sees the Jurassic Park entrance gate.
  • And sees a Stargate.
  • And sees Mt. Rushmore.

That’s enough.

The Postman suddenly wakes up, realizes Waterworld was all a dream as he looks at a stack of the day’s mail

…then Lt Dunbar suddenly wakes next to Dances With Fist in their Lakita village and he tells her about these weird visions of the future he just had

…THEN the actual Kevin Costnar wakes up with a start in his fancy Hollywood home, looks at his two Academy Awards for Best Director and Best Picture and tosses them into a dumpster.

And then the camera zooms out, allowing us to see the Solar System plunging into a dense spiral arm of the Milky Way galaxy. Neutral hydrogen and cosmic dust suddenly penetrate our atmosphere. The whole planet begins to turn into Snowball Earth.

Is this the end of everything? Not necessarily. The Mechas now spend most of their time studying the artifacts left behind by long gone humanity. And now that David has finally found the happiness he spent his life chasing, their attention has shifted to a peculiar video recording. It features a long haired demigod who looks like a bald man they remember seeing somewhere before.

The film ends with Dwayne Johnson jolting awake. Apparently, he had nodded off during the Academy Awards ceremony. But he has just been called to the stage, and so he rises (confused yet delighted) and walks forward into the spotlight.