And most addicts can quit anytime they want to, so I hear.
DUDES. You commit most rapes. Men commit most rapes. That does not make you a rapist, nor does it mean that men aren’t raped. All rape is horrible. The reason “don’t rape” is targeted at men is that men rape more.
“Don’t binge drink” is good advice. Binge drinking is poisoning yourself. No one should do it. The reason the article is offensive is because a victim of rape or assault is often asked how drunk they are if they go to trial (or by friends, community members, etc.). Yeah, binge drinking is a bad idea, but it doesn’t make rape okay. The author doesn’t state that, but there is implied victim blaming. The two things just aren’t related.
If you drink too much and someone murders you, it isn’t your fault that you were murdered and it shouldn’t have any bearing on the murderer’s sentence.
So the author is just misguided. Just as telling women not to drink won’t stop rape, telling people in general to drink won’t stop murder. It’s just an ineffective and illogical argument, and more offensive because of this.
The author wouldn’t have received this type of criticism if she suggested women learn self defense, because learning self defense could actually reduce the chances of a woman being raped. Self defense classes for women AND MEN (!) are great! Suggesting that no one binge drink is great. Suggesting you go out with trusted friends if you are going to drink is great, not only to decrease the likelihood of one of you being a victim of a violent crime but for general safety purposes.
Men and women alike should make sure a drunk friend (or even stranger) gets home safe. People will always get drunk. We should ALL try to be decent human beings.
Interesting. Does this get easier or harder the more drinks you’ve had?
A woman’s risk of being raped would effectively disappear if she did lots of things.
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Avoiding trips outside at night
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Never traveling alone
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Refusing to have male friends and acquaintances.
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Never leaving home without a loaded gun in hand at all times.
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Never letting herself become distracted in a public setting
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Never become drunk in the presence of a male
The issue is that it is extremely easy to take another person’s freedom and autonomy for granted, when you know you will never be the one being handed the same advice. Why act as though women aren’t entitled to partake in an activity that is perfectly legal, just because her risk of rape increases by some unknown percentage?
Men, did you know your risk of being falsely accused of pedophilia increases X% when you go to a playground by yourself? Should then we be warning yall against doing this perfectly legal but perfectly unnecessary action for your “own good”? Why not, when you’re telling women to do something you’d never tell the bros to do, and is equally legal?
Note that the article doesn’t tell women not to drink.
Huh?
More to the point of this thread, what do you think of the article’s thesis: that women who don’t drink to the point of incapacitation reduce their chance of being a sexual assault victim?
Cite?
Regards,
Shodan
What has given you the impression that no one here would ever tell a man not to drink past the point of incapacitation?
Please quote where I said that women shouldn’t be able to go out and drink. And actually in my case your last sentence is 100% false. I have younger brothers that I warned about drinking to excess. Did I tell them not to drink at all? No. And despite your claims that’s not what said in my post, either. What I did say was to have fun but to be careful about situations where you’re not with a group of friends because there are guys out there who will rob you or find some made up excuse to put you in the hospital for some kind of sick thrill. Probably the same kind of guys who prey on women. I would have given younger sisters the same advice.
So yes, my reply to Lakai stands for men as well but replace “warning signs of sexual abuse” with “warning signs of being robbed or beaten.” We can and should educate people about the warning signs of a bad situation but if they are incapacitated to the point where they can’t recognize those signs then what good does it do. The advice goes hand in hand. What do we do about the psycho guys who will rape a drunk woman or beat some guy into a coma because he scuffed his shoes? I wish I knew.
I also think it’s interesting that you brought up the point of legality. The Slate article and I think the majority of the comments in this thread are directed at college age people, many of whom aren’t the legal drinking age. And that’s unfortunate because while many of us here don’t see that as any sort of reason why victims should be blamed for what happened to them, I do think it makes it easier for the general public to disregard/minimize these crimes, and for the victims themselves to feel at fault and possibly be less likely to report. I wonder if this would change if the drinking age were lowered to 18?
Why do you doubt this re* some* people remembering everything they did even when quite drunk? There are people, myself among them, for whom this physiological reaction to being intoxicated is 100% accurate.
There’s no problem with advice on how to avoid being a victim of a crime, whether that crime is rape or robbery or theft, and whether or not the advice is something that involves giving up doing something you like.
Ideally, such advice with respect to rape would acknowledge the cultural history of shitty treatment of rape victims, and acknowledge how unfortunate it is that the burden of avoidance of this particular crime falls largely on the shoulders of women. But whether or not the advice acknowledges those unfortunate truths, there is still no necessary implication of victim-blaming in any crime-avoidance advice. And effective advice is usually concise, detailed, and memorable–which you lose by filling your Slate column with caveats, conditions, and advice directed at others.
Obviously, women are free to take or leave this advice just like anyone is with respect to any advice. No one is talking about taking anyone’s freedom away.
Perhaps we could prevent the crime of rape entirely by shipping all women to the moon and importing suitably feminine men from approved cultures to serve as sex concubines for the remaining men so that no woman might ever accidentally be raped.
Vaginas are not that big of a deal. Infact if I had my way I would do away with them all together and we’d all become a sexual through drugs administered at birth.
Lets see women carry on with the crap they do without the allure of using their vagina as a negotiating tool.
Seriousy, crime happens, to prevent a crime is not blaming a victim. You have a choice, logically accept this or invariably be shipped off to the moon.
If you leave your door unlocked while you sleep and someone murders you, it’s not your fault you were murdered and it shouldn’t have any bearing on the murderer’s sentence.
On a completely unrelated note, I’d advise you to lock your door when you turn in for the night.
Don’t do logic. Things that make sense only anger these people…
double post my bad
Kidding, right?
With the PC paranoia about these days, any man that went alone to a children’s playground would soon have some unwanted attention.
For the same reason, at work I’d never allow myself to be alone in a room with a female patient. If it was unavoidable, I’d keep the door open.
I was working in a childrens ward back in the 80s, but wouldn’t even consider it now.
Happily, the time of totally realistic sex androids isn’t far away.
Let’s see how women like being usurped by robots. My guess is they’ll try and get the androids banned.
Is it rape if she says “stop” when the man is actually climaxing ( and she consented right up to that point )?
I agree that binge drinking increases your chances of being sexually assaulted. I just don’t think that should be the focus of advice on how to prevent sexual assault.
And if you’re around people you don’t trust, the advice should be don’t pass out. That means don’t fall asleep either.
If the man doesn’t stop, then yes.
Also, why are you asking this question? It doesn’t seem relevant to what anyone was talking about.
Exactly, so:
If you get drunk and someone rapes you, it’s not your fault and shouldn’t have any bearing on the rapist’s sentence.
On A COMPLETELY UNRELATED NOTE, don’t get shitfaced.
Getting drunk is not the cause of rape, so focusing on it in this context doesn’t make sense.
It DOES make sense to say “do not get drunk, because lots of negative things could happen” followed by a list of common issues that result or correlate. That’s not victim blaming, it’s educating. It DOES NOT make sense to say “don’t get drunk because you’re maybe going to get raped” if you don’t want to be rightfully accused of victim blaming.
Re: (now banned) DON’ TRY USIN’ NO LOGIC ON WIMMIN guy, comments on any feminism-related topic always illustrate the need for feminism. He was a great example. This is Lewis’s Law in action. Mentioned in this article and elsewhere. Evident all over the damn internet.