Talk much or don’t talk much; but, if you’re going to talk, then be funny. Seriously. I, for one, have a habit of leaving exorbitant tips for waitstaff who are engaging and funny, but simultaneously non-intrusive.
By the same token, feel out your guests and try to anticipate what kind of people they are. Conservative old farts might not like your joshing around, but a group of teenagers will be more likely to tip someone they’ve enjoyed having around.
Yes, what caphis said. Some people really do enjoy being joked with/made familiar/etc, but you shouldn’t treat everybody the same. I don’t like it because I’m heinously shy and would really rather you just get my food and accept my grateful smile and murmured thanks when you refill my drink.
Folks in a touristy place are likely to like the outgoing types because they’re on vacation.
Sign me up with the “do not chatter at me” crowd. If a customer is dining alone, s/he might appreciate it, if more than one person is at the table, there’s a very good chance they want to talk – to each other. I don’t tip sunshine and smiles, I tip competence.
Is there seriously a school of thought that says squatting at your customers’ tables is a good idea? I’ve seen this exactly once, and my wife and I thought it was the funniest thing we had seen in a month. We even nicknamed our waiter “Squatty” because he would come to the table and do that. We thought he’d lost a contact lens or something. To us, squatting signified something creepily servile, or that we were being served by some sort of trained animal. “Where’s Squatty?” “I don’t know.” “Well, check the floor!” Looking down at another adult when I’m seated is guaranteed to make me uncomfortable.
The servers I tip best are like the ball boys/girls at Wimbledon – efficient and invisible.
The squatting down trick works. I learned that in a NLP course years ago - it was more about presenting to audiences though. The other thing that makes people think you are friendly is touching them.
I can’t find the research but someone in England did it with the staff of a library. Half of the people they assisted they did as normal (no physical contact) for the other half they had a range of “incidental” ways of touching them - while handing them something, putting a hand on their shoulder while looking over it. People in the “touched” group rated the library staff significantly higher than the othet group.
It certainly works with kids. They are more prone to listen to you if you are making some apparently casual contact. Coaching kids sport I always found that things sink in better if they are explained with an arm around the shoulders.
How you could adapt this to serving I don’t know.
Never ask more than twice in a row if they need anything. When you bring the drinks/bread basket/food, ask if anyone needs anything. If they ask for something, bring it right away, and ask if they need anything else. If they ask for something else, check your other tables on your way to fetch it, deliver it, and wish them a happy dinner. Do NOT ask if they need anything else, because they’ll keep asking for one thing at a time till you’re ready to snap. That crap is not only exasperating and exhausting, it keeps you from taking proper care of your other customers, doing your sidework, etc. Besides, those tables never tip worth a damn anyway, so if they do without something for a few minutes while you take care of your other tables, it really doesn’t matter.
I do not believe that touching strangers is a good thing to do. I HATE being touched by people I do not know, whether I am in the position of a customer being touched by waitstaff or I am at work as a customer service person being touched by customers. That is an invasion of personal space and I can’t imagine why people like it.
This doesn’t work on everybody. I know full well why the waiter is squatting down, and I hate being manipulated like that. I also have moods when I don’t want even the people I know to touch me. I certainly don’t want a stranger to touch me!
I do hug and touch my family and friends most of the time, but I have some pretty definite ideas of what behavior is appropriate for my close friends and what behavior is appropriate for a business situation. In most cases, I’m much more formal in a business situation. And yes, food server and diner are in a business relationship, NOT a personal relationship.
I don’t mind the wait staff squatting down to eye level when taking my order, but please do not touch. I do not know you, and you do not know me. I would rather you be polite and take my order but leave the touching to a more personal relationship. It totally freaks me out when a total stranger breaks my personal space in order to touch my hair. So I have a tendancy to jerk backwards when someone reaches for me.
When you bring the check, pause an extra beat to see if the customer is reaching for a wallet. So many times when my family goes out dinner is just part of the evening, and time is a factor.
It seems standard practice for wait staff to present the check, say “I’ll be your cashier when you’re ready”, and disappear for 5 minutes before really checking if we’re ready now.
Sometimes I can have my card out and ready if I see them coming with the check, but I tip extra when I’m caught by surprise and still given a moment to get my card out.
Don’t put the bill on the table, or even show me the bill, until you are certain I’m finished with my meal. Saying “There’s no hurry” or anything like that does not help. Once you present the bill, you have signaled to me that you’re done with me. Huh uh. I’m the customer. I’ll let you know when I’m finished.
EXCEPTION: If I have indicated to you that I’m in a hurry (or if you’ve overheard me talk about having to be somewhere at x:00pm and that hour is quickly approaching), you may offer to take care of the bill early, even before I’ve finished eating, so that I can hit the road at my convenience without having to wait for you later on.
Oh, and here’s a tip: If I ask you what to order, or what your favorite menu item is, or anything similar, tell me. Don’t hem and haw – just tell me. I asked, didn’t I? If I didn’t want your opinion, I wouldn’t have asked. Sometimes I’m just not in a decision-making mood (especially when I’m on vacation), and it’s fun to let somebody else “make” me try new things. If you don’t know what an item is like – for example, if you’re a vegetarian and a customer asks you which steak is the best – have a truthful answer ready, such as “Well, I’m a vegetarian, but Jim’s [point to waiter on the other side of the restaurant] favorite steak is…” You might even try saying something like “…and if you need any dinner suggestions today, I’m happy to point out a few of my favorite items.”
And know the soup of the day, any specials and any items you’ve run out of. Thanks!
Most of my likes and dislikes have already been mentioned.
Do:
Know the menu. I don’t like if you come back later and say “X doesn’t come with Y” or “You can’t have your tilapia blackened.” I won’t usually dock your tip for it, but I won’t like it.
Refill drinks without asking me if I want refills. I drink a lot of Diet Coke during a meal. I don’t want to talk to you every five minutes about my Diet Coke, and I really REALLY don’t want to tell you every time what I’m drinking. I am very uptight about my drinks. I want a full or semi-full glass at all times, and I will absolutely tip in accordance with that. I tip up to 40%.
Don’t:
Put your pad on my table to write in it. That feels like you’re encroaching into my space.
Ask me my first name. I hate that.
Switch servers partway through the meal unless it is an absolute emergency. Too often, one half of the team is a much better server than the other half, and it screws with my tipping.
Send someone else to deliver the food. Then we all have to remember what the name of the dish was and remembering isn’t my strong suit. 
[QUOTE=jsgoddess]
Refill drinks without asking me if I want refills. I drink a lot of Diet Coke during a meal. I don’t want to talk to you every five minutes about my Diet Coke, and I really REALLY don’t want to tell you every time what I’m drinking. I am very uptight about my drinks. I want a full or semi-full glass at all times…/QUOTE]
Yeah, EXCEPT when the drink is something you add stuff to, like coffee or iced tea. I don’t drink them, but I know that some people definitely prefer not to get a refill of coffee until they need a whole one, so they don’t ahve to keep stirring in their whitener and sweetener of choice. Then again, maybe some do like constant refills so I guess it wouldnt hurt to ask.
Actually, this can really improve the efficiency of food delivery when it’s done properly. Good restaurants have a system set up so that the food deliverer knows who ordered what without having to ask (e.g. the food for seat #1 is located at 12 o’clock on the tray).
Most of these have been good suggestions on how to better serve you customers which will often (hopefully) get you a good tip. However, here are some suggestions at making that tip larger through making the bill larger:
[ul]Suggest appetizers or a soup (sometimes you can suggest sharing an appetizer and they’ll take the bait better than they would have otherwise)[/ul][ul]Talk about bar specials (when there was a smoking section, it was the lucky place to be, since many smokers also drink. This can translate into about $40 more in tips when you’re on a double)[/ul]
[ul]Remember to keep the glasses full, but also remember to ring them in. Customers don’t usually remember things like that when it’s time for the tipping.[/ul]
[ul]Coffee/dessert at the end of a meal. (again dessert can be shared)[/ul]
Other general suggestions:
[ul]Put plates down gently on the table starting with the ladies first and then going clockwise.[/ul]
[ul]Bring everyone’s food all at once unless there is a huge backup in the kitchen[/ul]
[ul]If there is a huge backup in the kitchen and your orders have been under the heat lamps for a while, replace the fries; they get yucky pretty quickly.[/ul]
[ul]Utilize your manager. Don’t wait for any problem to become even a medium problem, the manager will often comp some food, or give them a free dessert. Puts them in a better mood, and somtimes that can translate into more money for you[/ul]
[ul]Tip out to the busboys what they are due, if you treat them well, they will treat you well by getting water, quickly clearing your tables that come up, getting ketchup, etc.[/ul]
[ul]Help out the other wait staff by garnishing, carrying out, etc. People will usually reciprocate pretty quickly.[/ul]
[ul]Don’t ever look flustered, it makes your people nervous, and think you can’t handle the job and less deserving of a tip. Someone back there said you should be pleasantly invisible, and they’re right.[/ul]
[ul]Some restaurants add on a mandatory tip for larger parties. When writing the total and your thank you on the check, aim for the line that points out the mandatory tip. (I found out this tidbit many years after I was no longer a server. The ethics of it are dicey, but I can’t say that I absolutely wouldn’t have done it on the week that I had to make the payment to school.)[/ul]
[ul]Just take the table. Even if its at the end of your shift, its a couple of more dollars you can make while you do your closing side station work, you’re there anyway.[/ul]
[ul]Cater to the kids, bring drinks in a covered cup, remove silverware that they could hurt themselves with, put a cherry in their soda, give them a few crayons and a piece of paper.[/ul]
[ul]Little things make people feel special, and like they are getting good service. Little things like eye contact, putting the straws in the soda after you’ve twisted the paper, garnishing their drinks, etc.[/ul]
Hope you have fun, and good luck.
Remember, there’s no one surefire way to maximize tips that will work with all customers. Well, aside from competence. <grinning> Do your best. And do it with a friendly, considerate manner, you’ll likely do well.
My personal pet peeve is when paying cash for a meal, and one gets back change in where the amount of the change returned is $5 or $10 and a few coins, do NOT use the trick some waiters/waitresses use: I’m talking about bringing the larger bill and not an equal number of ones or ones and a fiver. For every person you can manipulate into giving you the larger bill as a tip, you’ll piss off at least one person who might otherwise have been planning to tip generously. I know my reaction in that case is to sit down and calculate and exact 15% tip, and pay that. If I get the ones, however, I’ll be glad to bump up to a 20% or 25% tip, even if that’s MORE than the bill we’re talking about. To my mind, the fact that the server didn’t feel it necessary to manipulate money for a larger tip is always a big thing I like to reward.
I don’t know how common it is, but my parents and sister do the same thing.
Let me add another vote for the stand up, don’t chat excessively and for heaven’s sake DO NOT TOUCH ME. I don’t treat servers as underlings, but as important people who can make the difference in my enjoying a nice meal or not. But I did not come to your restaurant to socialize with you. And I’d rather look up at you standing than look down at you squatting awkwardly and uncomfortably down there. And it has never seemed very efficient. I like efficiency.
OTOH, my husband loves to joke and socialize with servers, but he always initiates the conversation. You have to pay attention to your customers.
But if we’re in the midst of an important conversation, I’d rather you didn’t intrude.
So – Pay attention to me! Leave me alone! Be friendly! Don’t talk too much!
Isn’t the job of being a server a piece of cake? :rolleyes: Right. I know. That’s why we tip really well when we get good, efficient (but not rushed!) service.
If it wasn’t on Disney property, that advice would not be advisable
If you’re not allergic to smoke and the restaurants in Fla still allow smoking: do what you have to to get stationed in the smoking section.
The server that notices I’m low on dipping sauce and brings me a new one without having been asked, gets an instant extra tip.
The server that gives me a “starving kids in China” look when I decline a to-go box for two bites of a sandwich, gets dinged.
Are you saying to “accidentally on purpose” write over the part of the check where the automatic gratuity is added on? The ethics of that aren’t “dicey” at all: they are crystal clear. A person who does that is stealing. How would you like it if someone did that to you? Would it be okay for you to tip double just because that person had a bill due somewhere?
Not only that, but i think that a waiter should make it very clear to the party when an gratuity has automatically been added. I generally just look at the total when paying the bill, and on more than one occasion i’ve almost missed the automatic tip and nearly added another one.
Having worked as a waiter, i understand the reasoning behid the automatic gratuity for large parties. But, to tell you the truth, i still don’t like the idea very much. I think that people should be left to decide for themselves what the tip is going to be. Anyway, when my friends and i get stuck with an automoatic tip, the waiter usually loses out, because it’s generally calculated at 18%, and we usually leave 20+% when left to our own devices.