Summarize a fantastical plot as mundanely as possible

Poor girl falls asleep and dreams about getting new shoes.

Religious cult member turns against founder, both die

Jesus Christ Superstar

Don’t know how to do the spoiler thing, so -

A break-in is reported…All the President’s Men

Whacko military general who fears torture…Dr. Strangelove

An inconvenient bug spreads…28 Days

A doltish gardener stays at an industrialist’s mansion…Being There

A recidivist is programmed to do good…A Clockwork Orange

Four guys go on a canoe trip.

Deliverance

A new acquaintance helps a couple in love solve their communication issues

Ladyhawke

Young, up and coming entrepreneur faces resistance from established business concerns.

Godfather II

A young widow struggles to keep her home

Gone With the Wind

A struggling nation turns to new leadership

Duck Soup

Teenagers’ midnight swim party gets the authorities involved

Jaws

Single mother seeks help for her out of control daughter

The Exorcist

A band reunites.

The Blues Brothers

I thought

Tootsie

or

Mrs. Doubtfire

The US President visits New York City

Escape from New York

A tale of homeless people living in the park

Hair

Four men try to get rid of a magic ring…Help!

Or, three men go fishing.

A factory stays in business

Schindler’s List

Businesswoman has trouble with a dissatisfied customer

Unforgiven

Man teaches neighbour DIY skills

Gran Torino

Town stays cold longer than expected

Groundhog Day

If you ever see an effect or whatnot in a post that you don’t know how to do, just click “quote” and you’ll see the tags used to generate it in the quoted text. In this case, it’s just the [noparse][/noparse] and [noparse][/noparse] tags. (And being able to type [noparse][/noparse] and [noparse][/noparse] as plain text and not being interpreted as vBulletin code requires its own tags, which you can discover using my tip above.)

Thirty-something Jewish guy leaves for the weekend, back on Sunday.

I gave it try, and this happened

[noparse][/noparse]name of film[noparse][/noparse]

I’m not really good at this shit

Penis ensues

The Crying Game

A ghost and a prince meet and everyone ends as mincemeat.

I can’t take credit for this; it’s a line from the song “That’s Entertainment” by Schwartz and Dietz.

Man tries to find box before others do. (Raiders of the Lost Ark)

People face challenges

every movie/book/show ever