I just knocked over my half-empty can of diet soda with my elbow, and managed to catch it before it spilled, or even hit the table.
That brought to mind other things I’ve done in my life that were pretty cool when they happened.
Like the time I was running full-tilt across a field in a race (probably around 8 yrs old), tripped on a rock, turned a complete flip/somersault, and landed on my feet running, without missing a beat. Probably looked pretty cool.
Or the time I was standing about twenty feet from a fence that had three flies buzzing about it. There was a little bit of snow on the ground, so I picked some up, and threw a snowball at one of the flies. I struck and killed it (it landed on the ground). My family, who was watching, dared me to try it again. I made another snowball, and killed both of the other two flies with that one. Everyone was suitably freaked out.
Anything you’ve done that you could never duplicate?
I was crossing a road and the stupid owner of a Jag decided I didn’t exist and decided to set off (while I was halfway across his path), pedal to the floor. Completely automatically - I contorted into the shape of the outline of a speeding Jag and managed to avoid being hit by it.
Immediately afterwards I wished I had a brick to severely damage his car.
Picture a split-level house, with a porch about 6 feet off the ground leading to the front door. Picture the railing on this porch being about 3.5 - 4 feet taller. Picture me on a ladder on this porch, painting the house above the front door about 4 - 5 feet above the railing (which is behind me, cause I’m facing the house).
I’m buzzed by a wasp. I hate wasps. I leap backwards off of the ladder, turning 180 degrees, landing firmly and perfectly balanced on the porch railing. My father said it was the most amazing thing he’s ever seen. He also said it was the dumbest thing he’s ever seen. I’d have to agree…
I ate an entire container of Ice Cream in one sitting. The freezer went out, and I had to choose what to save. We had just gone to the store the day before, so I decided that a full container of Ice Cream would not be going to waste. The flavor was…(drumroll)…Banana Split!
The last 6 or 7 miles were brutal. My knees were failing and the downhill was very painful. I seriously almost started crying, at one point I just laid face down in the dirt. It rained about halfway through which led to wet shorts which lead to chaffing which lead to silver dollar sized rashes on my inner thighs that were bleeding. I think I may have a stress fracture on my right foot too. But other than that it was fun!
Thanks for the report. Hope all that heals up okay. I walked home from work (essentially flat – 7 miles) one day. Took at least an hour, more like two. But my feet were in rough shape afterwards. But when I really want to walk for pleasure, decent hiking boots are essential. I can’t imagine a 30 mile walk in a day, though. I think my longest one-day walk was that thing in the Smokies I told you about on that thread you started. I believe the total then was around 12 miles, four of it almost straight up.
There’s a nice level trail around a lake (more like a big pond) that measures right at two miles. I used to take lunch hours and drive over there and walk the trail and get back to work without being very late. In that same park there’s an 8-mile roundtrip that I’ve done several times.
In the spirit of the thread (sorry for the hijack!) I once shot a bird out of the top of a tree with a .22 rifle from at least 300 yards away.
Another time my cousin shot an arrow into a pine tree high enough up that none of us could reach it, even with our bows. I was maybe 50 feet from it, right after he shot it, and knocked it down with an arrow of my own. Mine fell, too.
We had a big thing about shooting arrows straight up and standing still to see how close they would come to where we shot them from. One time when I had a 50-lb-pull bow I shot one up and it was close enough to dark that I lost sight of it. I was afraid I might have done it too close to vertical, so I ran away as fast as I could, The arrow came down close enough to where I had shot it from that I would have been hit if I hadn’t moved. I guess the super-human aspect of that was that I had enough sense (afterwards, not before) to get out of there.
We used to repair arrows that had the tips broken off by getting a tin can lid and sort of folding it over a couple of times around the shaft to make a new point. They worked pretty well as “hunting tips.” I shot one of those fixed arrows straight up and it stuck up in the roof of the house. After we had moved away from that house and had been away for at least ten years, I visited it again with my new wife and showed her that arrow. It was still there.
When I was 12 we were playing around in a tree fort at a friends house. I stepped back out of the way of getting hit by something a friend threw at me, and I fell through the trap door. I landed partially on my back, and partially on my neck. The parents out on the back porch thought I broke my neck, but I stood up, walked towards them and started crying. They were amazed I only had some cuts from rocks I landed on.
A friend of mine and I used to run up walls. We were so adept at it that we could run over people’s heads and even turn inside corners. I probably could still do it but I haven’t seen any inside corner walls that were made of stone/brick in a while.
As a joke, my friend said “watch this” and without even looking, quick drew his BB handgun and pointed at a moving hummingbird over 100 feet away.
One shot and it was dead.
We just stared at each other in amazement, partially because we couldn’t believe the incredible shot, but equally so because I think we both felt guilty about him killing the hummingbird.
Shot a hole through a cigarette butt at 20 yards with a .22 rifle but that was probably more luck than anything. Could hit quarters, but not dimes after that. That’s about it though. Killed a bunny rabbit with a brick from about 50 yards, but that was a mistake, I was just trying to scare it.
Once on a subway train, a woman was entering, and somehow I noticed the door was closing on her. I caught the door before it had moved an inch, and these doors are fast closers. I think the lady was kind of scared by the speed of my reactions at thet time, and a friend couldn’t believe it. For some lizard-brain mental dynamics I weant into bullet-time for that split second.
When it comes to mental problem solving, I can study a problem for hours and not get an answer, but like many other people can, I will wake up the middle of the following night with the optimal answer perfectly worked out. I sometimes think the time I actually earn what my employers pay me for is usually about 3.00 am in the morning, when I have such a brain flash.
While carrying a plate of deep dish pizza in each hand, I once tripped and landed flat-out on the floor, on my stomach with my arms out in front – the classic flying pose. The super-human part? I didn’t spill either plate of pizza. Not a mushroom was out of place.
Why waste your talents on saving humanity when the really important stuff is on the line? I mean, we’re talking Chicago Deep Dish here.
Oh, and dorfl…getting up at 4:30 counts. Big time!
