Survivor 3/23

Dammit - we have thunderstorms, big ones. As such, they keep interrupting the broadcast. Any care to do some play-by-play for stuff I miss? They just cut out as the girls started preening each other. Looks like I’ll be hitting an orrenttay website later…

Philip just came over and asked them all to watch the fire every 25 minutes or so. Then, they cut over to the duel and:

[spoiler]

Matt won again.[/spoiler]

This just in: Special Agent Phillip is being a pain in the ass. And in other news, Carlos Franco is still dead.

Sarita has a toothache. Stephanie is trying schmooze with teammates.

You can go here and get play by play on the twitter feed:

http://twitter.com/#!/search/%23survivor

Gigantic Slingshot challenge:

Philip and Natalie handling the slingshot for Rob’s team, Natalie slinging to Grant is a winning combination. Marine cannot handle ex-football player Grant, which Probst announced Grant as an ex-NFLer, which I was not sure was common knowledge amongst contestants

Probst: “Grant and Mike goin’ at it hard!”

This, sir, is a movie for which I would pay a hefty admission fee.

I don’t know whether to cheer Zapatera for their decision or slap all of them.

I wonder if we will have a Russell flashback every episode?

Cheer. The idea that Stephanie has been some sort of challenge monster whose presence will make the difference between winning and losing future immunities is a premise with no evidence supporting it. In this episode, you could have replaced Stephanie with Sarita or with Justin Bieber and it would have made no difference; Grant kicked their asses and that’s just how it goes sometimes.

But the merge will come eventually, and Stephanie has made it brutally obvious that she will flip if given the chance to do it. There is no advantage to keeping her around for the dominant majority.

David, it should be said, is a very great fool for casting his vote for Sarita without being stone-cold certain that Sarita was going home. He has placed himself at the bottom of the pecking order now - he’s a loose cannon (and one with an arrogant, grating personality to boot) who will most likely be the next to go if his tribe does lose again. Huge misjudgment on his part; never break ranks unless you are SURE it will work.

I think he’s the same guy who is on The Amazing Race who has Asperger’s, under an assumed name.

I like the observation Amber made about Matt. That Matt can get close to people pretty easily. It also explains why Rob wanted him gone so fast.

I also love how Rob doesn’t try to change anyone, but instead uses everyone’s weaknesses to his advantage. He lets Philip be annoying because it takes the attention away from him. He also lets the girls slack off because he knows that while they’re slacking off they’re not playing the game.

Rob is running circles around these amateurs. I can’t wait to see how he deals with the other tribe.

Has Ralph spelled anyone’s name correctly?

I though it was an act, but then again no one knows who the votes are from. He should get along well with Phil.

I’ll admit I was starting to warm to Stephanie in this episode. Not saying I want her to win or anything, but the farther she gets away from Russell, the more I like her.

Me too. She may be as annoying as hell, but I appreciate her spunk. I can’t see her being a quitter either. I’d completely forgotten about her saying she’d switch tribes if given the chance (it was mentioned upthread), so in that sense…um, yeah, I could see why they’d choose trustworthiness (Sarita) over spunk.

Not that I agree with it totally. Somebody could be the most “trustworthy” person in the world, but if they’re not carrying their weight at camp or giving it their all in challenges, I’d question it straight up.

I agree about warming to Steph. That’s going to be one boring tribe without her. Not only that but she wins the best butt award for this game, for two reasons.

One thing about this season, it’s pretty easy to predict the next person to be voted out. Rob’s team seems to have the momentum right now so if I was Sarita, I’d step my game up a notch or two.

Agree that Dave was really stupid. Making an argument to his tribemates that it’d make more strategic sense to vote off Sarita is one thing. To be so snarky at tribal council, when it was obvious that he wasn’t going to change anyone’s mind, was stupid. To then cast a vote for Sarita was royally stupid.

It’s pretty obvious to me now that Ralph is illiterate. He is spelling phonetically. So I cannot in good faith make fun of him anymore.

Grant makes me drool, though I have to admit that it’s not really fair to have a wide receiver in the game when the challenge involves throwing a ball.

Stephanie kept saying that she was going to make Sarita look bad and then…nothing. And her telling Steve that she voted for him because he was the weakest link wasn’t the smartest move in the game.

BTW, Steve, I HATE when contestants are indignant when someone writes their name down. It especially irks me when they go on the offensive against a player whom THEY are targeting to get rid of. How DARE she write MY name down? Stephanie should have said, “Whose name should I have written down, Steve?” and then see him back-pedal and squirm.

Phillip is just such a ridiculous human being, and then they edit it to make him look more like a buffoon. Too bad he was 100% right that the two women did nothing around camp and should get off their asses and do something. I find myself hating those women, whatever the hell their names are.

Sooo, Rob and Grant were caught reading the HII clue by Phillip. I wonder if he’s going to mount a secret coup against one of them? Because if he did pull that off, it’d be hysterical.

Once again, I think they’ve bit off more than they can chew with this RI bullshit. Too much time is spent showing that challenge.

I do think it’s an act. The errors are too stupid to be real. Nobody would hear “Russell” and think “Ressell”, or “Krasta” for “Krista”. “Stifini”? Really? I’m not buying it. Look at his bio:
Name (Age): Ralph Kiser (44)
Tribe Designation: Zapatera
Current Residence: Lebanon, Va.
Occupation: Farmer
Personal Claim to Fame: Being completely debt-free at age 44. No vehicle payments, no mortgage payments, plus I own two homes on the same farm.
Inspiration in Life: I’m inspired by my farm; I’ve been at it all my life. I’m always amazed at my animals - how they grow and survive. Being able to watch the circle of life go 'round and be a part of it is a very satisfying adventure that I never get tired of.
Hobbies: Hunting, hiking and traveling.
Pet Peeves: People who are lazy and don’t try to make anything of themselves.
3 Words to Describe You: Determined, strong-willed and stubborn
SURVIVOR Contestant You Are Most Like: I’m probably a combo of Big Tom and J.T.
Reason for being on SURVIVOR: I’ve wanted to be on the show for years and knew one day I’d get my chance. I want to be a hometown hero for the folks back home!
Why you think you’ll “Survive” SURVIVOR: I’m an outdoors mountain man. I know plants, trees and what most of their uses are. I can also build anything; start a fire anywhere and make people believe anything I say!
Why you think you will be the sole SURVIVOR: I will be the king at camp because I can build shelter, cook, find food and be the leader.

He’s a big fan of the show and he wants to be remembered - see the bolded quotes. I’m not knocking it, because it’s funny, but it would’ve been funnier if he wasn’t trying so hard.

I’m betting Rob turns on Grant next. Grant has shown that he’s under Rob’s spell, and certainly he’s the only real threat to Rob in that tribe. Phillip will be easy to off at a later date and the women aren’t a threat.

Phil may be a buffoon, but I seriously wonder if it isn’t all an act. Former Federal Agent? aside, I wouldn’t be too surprised if he staged a coup and came out on top. I’ve had that feeling about him since Day 1.

So, they had the Battle of the Bible Thumpers. I’m sure God really cares who wins at Survivor.

Gotta agree that Dave blew it. And there was no way to keep someone who had a good shot at switching sides as soon as they merged.

I’m sure that God also appreciated Kristina aligning herself with Russell, who is clearly a true servant of God.