Survivor Panama Ep. 3 WITH spoilers

Best goddam immunity challenge ever.

Bruce. Back in the tribe just long enough to teach everyone how to die of amebic dysentery, then it’s back to Bruce’s gulag. That’s cold, man. How does an 8th degree moca-caramellatte belt do in a fight over a pillow? Not so well, apparently.

Misty. Tough break, kid. I was really liking you. Your showdown with Danielle is etched in my memory. Now get that rash looked at, it looks painful.

Shaniac. Did this guy have an unfortunate episode with a label maker, or what? Someone feed him a pufferfish, quick.

Danielle. Whoever dislodged her swimsuit during the challenge deserves immunity for a week or two. The Boston accent, on the other hand, is not nearly as sexy.

YogaDan. What the hell was with the Yogitsu moves during the challenge? I haven’t seen the ‘knee squeeze’ since junior high.

Bobby Dee Willams. Dude, you may have been the hero of the moment, but what you did to poor Ruth Marie would constitute sexual assault in most states. Couldn’t you have at lease picked her up rather than ripping her top off?

AstroDan. Do some goddam chin-ups when you get back stateside. I haven’t seen a skinny guy get tossed around like that since I accidentally TiVo’d OZ. shiver

Cirie. Another playground tactic, but I loved Cirie sitting down, then sitting ON the competition.

The rest? Not memorable enough this week. Try harder!