I posted the above last September. My problem still remains, though some things have changed about me. I’ve toned down the horniness considerably. I’ve also made some new friends of the male persuasion, one of whom has some potential.
I’ve been thinking about what drives guys away from me, and here are my ideas:
I’m very smart (3rd in class, ACT score: 33)
I’m very short (5’1)
I’m kind of loud.
I speak my mind.
I’m not the nicest person in the world (I’m not cruel or anything, though)
So, males, would those above things turn you away from a gal? I sure hope not. I truly would be an excellent girlfriend - he wouldn’t have to pay, he wouldn’t have to call me all the time, I wouldn’t expect gifts on Valentine’s Day or our anniversary, I would put out…
So what gives!? I know of no one who has ever had a crush on me! No one! And I’m NOT ugly. Not at all. The opinions/advice of all are wanted and welcome. Thank you.
Hey, my advice, don’t worry about it. I will be twenty in a month and still have never been kissed. Now THAT is sad. I am quite similar to you it sound likes (even the same height). My problem is that I am just too darn picky. If it weren’t for the fact that I am so darn picky, I could have been kissed when I was eighteen and first started college. That is something you have to look forward too. College. Everything changes there. If you Don’t get kissed your first year there(unless you are too picky like me)I’ll eat my hat(If I wore hats that is:D) You will meet tons of new people there. And it will work out. Just think of it this way, When your future rebellious young teenager starts bugging you about letting her date and she asks in her stubborn tone of voice “How old were YOU when you had YOUR first kiss?” You can tell her, “I was was much older then you are now, and don’t you forget it!” and actually be telling the truth.
I forgot “I’m way too picky.” I recently went through my yearbook and counted how many guys in my grade I find attractive. The results: of 535 students (I don’t know how many are guys), 6 are attractive. Yeah… I think I have a bit of a problem. The guy I have a crush on now is two years younger than me, which is a bit odd. Am I settling? I don’t know. He’s really hot, that’s for sure. Maybe I’ll get my first kiss this summer! Maybe not…
To reassure you, while being perfectly blunt, I find intelligence attractive in a woman. Your height wouldn’t bother me at all; I’m about 5’8", so its not a huge gap. The loudness, the openness … those can al be good, or bad. It depends on the person. Since you’re worrying about those, I suspect you’re doing fine.
Well, that is an extremely attractive offer. Some of it might be a bit hard to believe, though? Don’t make promises you can’t keep! Don’t worry; I think I understand what you’re trying to say.
Don’t be so sure … Not to be mysterious, but it’s quite possible you’ve been crushed on and just not known of it.
**
Hmm… pics?
I hope things work out for you with your new friend (or with someone else). If I might offer you some advice? It’s been suggested, here on the SDMB and elsewhere, that trying to date someone isn’t always the best way. If you relax, let things happen, and let yourself be seen as confident, then things tend to happen. I never liked that advice either, but it does seem to work sometimes…
I started in 8th grade, and truth be told, DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN my stupid naive self-I would give anything to have not kissed that guy.
When people mention their first kiss, now I have to look back (and it’s only some few years back) to even remember his name, not to mention the setting, etc.
Kissing, like other things, come of their own accord.
You’re not missing out on much till a good one comes your way.
None of those things are lies. All I want in a boyfriend is someone to hang out with, have fun with, and make out with. Some guy, some day, is going to be VERY lucky.
AHunter3, thanks… I think. Oooo! This reminds me of something else creepy. My speech coach, who is probably in his fifties, told me (while other people were around, thank God) that, if he were in high school now, he would date me. Odd…
None of the traits you mention are unattractive ones, IMO. I’m relatively intelligent, short, loud (or vivacious, as I like to call it ;)), straightforward and occasionally bitchy, but guys have never really been turned off by it.
I agree with StephenG - don’t try too hard and it’ll come when it’s ready. Good luck and have fun.
Oh God yes. I know what you mean. My screening process had not yet developed back then and whenever I think back on my first kiss, I’m mentally going “eeeeeeeeeeeeeew!”
The main problem, I think, is that guys at your age are kind of assholes. I was, and I consider myself basically really nice. But your “qualifications” make you sound cool to me. Give it time. And don’t worry about being picky - that’s a positive trait. Don’t remember who said it, but I basically agree (although I think they were being generous):“95% of everything is crap.” So don’t settle for someone just so you can mark that “first kiss” notch off on the bedpost. You’ll get what you seek eventually (probably not wise to advertise the “putting out” part, though… at least not until you’re sure you like the guy). Good luck.
Fine… My Dark Lord, if only you lived in Minnesota… Wait - do you?
woodstockybirdybird - I have not advertised my wanting to “put out” to anyone with whom I would ever like to put out. Actually, I’ve never acted overly horny around this new guy I like. Good thing? Also, I don’t plan on settling.
Myrr21 - I’m not sure, but I don’t think that would yield the results I desire. Thanks, though.
Snooooopy - That’s what I’ve been planning on, well, before I met this guy anyway.
I hope everyone will help me through this “courting” period. I’ll continue to post about it, if anyone cares.
I was 19 when I got my first kiss ( I am almost twenty now, just another month :D) and I am SO glad I waited. When I was your age, I felt exactly the same way that you do. By the time I was19, I finally gave up. I said to myself, “Screw men, who needs 'em!?” About a week later I met my SO, and we are perfect for each other. My first kiss is also my first love. It is a nice feeling.
So basically, the moral of this story is, “They always show up when you aren’t looking for them.”
Actually, I was wondering if I can cut-n-paste this list into the “What do you find sexy?” thread? That about sums it up for me, assuming that 3&5 mean your kinda obnoxious and sarcastic
Ummm… people who have crushes on you usually hide it, ya know.
Want advice? Go to college. You won’t have time to sort out all the hot (and smart!) guys who will be drooling over you. Really; you’ll need an extra Palm Pilot with a memory upgrade just to keep them straight. Having your first kiss in high school isn’t really necessary; it won’t be as good a kiss, and in three years you won’t know where any of your high school friends went and won’t care. In college, it’ll be Sexcapades 3000.
Don’t count that kiss as the first one. It never happened, it wasn’t a kiss worthy of being called a kiss. Works wonders for me. I am 18 and still waiting for my first one.
Some of it might be a bit hard to believe, though? Don’t make promises you can’t keep! Don’t worry; I think I understand what you’re trying to say.
