Somebody clue me in as to why synchronized diving is even a sport. Yes, it looks cool but so what?
Why not have synchronized track & field? Two people can run the hurdles in a synchronized manner and cross the line at the same time. Throw the javelin or the discus to land at the same distance. The synchronized pole vault would be particularly interesting. The possibilities are endless.
Why not synchronized ski jumping in the winter?
Who are the dumb shits that give credence to this stupidity and let it continue?
Why are any of these things a sport? Synchronized whatever, gymnastics, figure skating, fucking ice dancing? Sure, all these things take phenomenal athletic skill and grace and unicorn farts, but all of them come down to the completely arbitrary aesthetic decisions of sometimes corrupt judges.
Now the other side of the argument is “it’s called the Olympic Games, numbnuts.” Which is a good point. But all that crap still bores the fuck out of me, so it’s lame.
Let’s just pull these events from the regular Olympics, create synchronized versions of every other event, and then in the off-years we can have the SynchrOlympics. Perfect!
I’d love to see the synchronized hop, skip and jump (now called the triple jump, but I think the original name is better). They could wear sequined track suits, hold hands and do it while the speakers play, “On the Good Ship Lollipop.”
I think the synchronized events should only be open to identical twins to make it even more impressive. Better yet, Abigail and Brittany Hensel should enter the synchronized diving event. Legally they are two individuals since they each have a drivers’ license so they would have the advantage of two people in one body. As long as each of them was looking in the same direction and made the same facial expressions, they’d be guaranteed to win.
If I had my way I would get rid of all events that use judges and scoring.
They turn out to just be a set of “moves”, “tricks”, or “stunts”.
This goes for things like sync-swimming, gymnastics, figure skating, sno-board half-pipe, etc, etc.
I prefer events where the winner is measured by fastest, furthest, highest, closest, or points are scored by doing one of the former.
Trick competitions were invented by people who were playing around going “can you do THIS?”, “How about this?” like a couple of kids playing horse.
If you don’t like it, don’t watch it. There are many other sports in the Olympics. I’m sure you can find one that you do enjoy. That’s the great thing about the Olympics.
