Ta Ra De BOOM De AY..my skinny jeans fit TODAY!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

There is a God and I have proof She is a Woman!

Cleaning out my closet, reconciling the past waistline with the present one , I decided to [cue scary music) try on my skinny jeans.

Yes, I know, trying on your skinny clothes without the benefit of vast quantities of alcohol and a pile of blow to help alleviate your mood as such clothing hasn’t fit since last milenneum, can ruin any woman’s day,week, month, decade, thus requiring her to immediately run out and a) buy some kind of lose weight while you sleep diet pill that she knows will never work , b) buy more black shoes c) eat chocolate to console herself that she will never be her sylph again.

These are jeans that I have not worn, if the lottery ticket found in the pocket are any indication, since June 30th 1999. (Which is Mike Tyson’s Birthday. Coincidence, I think not.)

Anyone out there with the Y chromosone will totally understand what this means. Guys just push their waist line down below what use to be defined as a waist. The fate of all personkind hung in the balance while I stripped down to my post-pregnancy- dull- white- from- two- thousand-consecutive- washings-not quite- yet- granny- briefs and pulled on my faded old jeans.

When the button hole and button met, I felt like I could resolve those pesky problems going on over in the Middle East.

I am invinsible.

[sub] (But yet not thatstupid to even think about trying on the Victoria Secret Thong Underwear that has been in the underwear relocation program since 1998 in the back of my unmentionable drawer. I mean, if I really want to see just how that would look, I can always lay a peice of lace over two mounds of cottage cheese. [/sub]

At this moment in time, 11:14am, May 14th, 2001, I am one with my universe.

2

Well, all things being equal, and all, I have a story for you. I am in an improv group. Our costume is to wear all black. I have my improv pants, which are all black. We have been on break, as the director is finishing up her gradutate work. During said break, my godfather died, which caused all kinds of finiancial trouble for me, I had issues with boys, and all kinds of stressful things happen. So, being a redblooded American female living in Vermont, I turned to Ben and Jerry for therapy.

The black pants didn’t fit. Correction: they fit, but they were uncomfortable and there was that post-waistline roll.

YOU try being wacky in a really clever way when your pants are too tight. Looks like someone is going to be hitting the gym as soon as my second job (which is a temp) is over. Oy.

3

Whooohoooo!

As someone who sat on her butt virually all winter, and who just last week realized that her butt wasn’t going to suddenly shrink all on it’s own, I know how exciting this is, and how brave you are to even get those pants out of the closet.

Me, I’m considering signing up for a 20 mile mountain bike race, and have already put myself on one o’ those eat-healthy type diets. Considering how good I feel after only one day of eating lots o’ fruit and veggies, it’s amazing that I don’t eat like this all the time. But the proof is in the fridge - boy, that beer looks good. So does the left over pate and cheese plate from last Thursday. And those candies in the cupboard…ARRGHGHGHGH!

4

Shirley, ain’t that just the best feeling? I’m serious. More power to you!

I’ve had to fight a weight problem all my life, thanks to a dubious genetic inheritance from biological parents who were each over six feet and just plain big. I work out four times a week, eat no-fat or low-fat everything, no dessert or candy, no between-meals snacking, etc. (I do allow myself a generous booze allowance, however… I mean, ya gotta have something!) It’s tough, but I do it, because it’s important to me. I love the way it feels to be 5’9’, 133 and size 6. I have been fat and chubby and everything in between, and as soon as I slack off, the darned fat comes back. Constant vigilance and effort is the only thing that works. There are no short cuts, at least for me.

Obssessive? Maybe. But I know that overweight women in Western culture have a tough row to hoe, and it’s definitely easier on my self-esteem to be slimmer than it is to be chubbier.

Congratulations on a successful Skinny Pants Experience!

5

Hurrah and congratulations for you! Isn’t it a fab feeling? I’ve lost almost 30lbs this year myself (joined the gym) and bought myself some new trousers that i wouldn’t have been able to fit into a few months ago and i wear them all the time. Hurrah for looking fab and hurrah for Shirley!

Fran

6

Sorry to rain on your parade, but:

My waistline is expanding. That’s right, expanding. I didn’t think that was going to happen since I’ve basically stopped growing. But a month ago I fit 32-waist pants without a problem. Hell, a year ago they were a bit big on me. I have not gained anything in my belly since high school and I find myself with an increasingly higher waistline.

Should I just resign myself to a 34-inch waist and take one off the list of things that make me sexy?

7

alright , ms ujest!!! you are the owner of the world today.

8

Congratulations, Shirl!

Since my figure, even by the highly elastic standards of male self-esteem, is no longer as, um, youthful as it once was, I’ve decided to stop watching my figure and concentrate instead on others more aesthetically pleasing.

So today you’ve made at least one other person happy.

9

Those are tears of joy, Shirl. Tears of pure, unadulterated joy!

As I read your post, I was flasing back to the day my skinny jeans fit–which was just a couple of months ago. Pretty sad, considering my baby is going to be two years old this year. Anyway, I just remember the thoughts going through my head…

oh man, do I even wanna try these things on again? Last time they didn’t fit, and you ate a whole pint of Ben & Jerry’s to make yourself feel better. Ah, what the hell…wow, they’re actually coming up over my ankles…thighs too? No way! Oh man, please let me get these over my hips, pleasepleaseplease…YES!!! Over the hips! Woohoo! Do I dare try to button them? Okay, here goes…Oh…my…Goddess…they fit. THEYFITTHEYFITTHEYFIT!!! Who’s da woman? YEAH!

Immediately following my triumph, of course, I had to go check the mirror to see if these jeans made my butt look huge. And when it didn’t look any huger than it normally is, well, my shrieks of happiness could be heard in the next county. :smiley:

After I read this, I discovered that white grenache can indeed be spewed out one’s nostrils. Why? Because I’m wearing a pair of these, right now, as I type this. And there’s plenty more just like 'em in my underwear drawer (right next to my comfy Target jammies with the little sheep on them and my Arkansas Razorback Hog slippers–I sincerely hope no one here acutally thought I was actually sexy IRL).

10

I couldn’t see myself evey getting back into my old size 8 (UK 12) jeans again. So, I bought some new Wrangler bootcut jeans in a size 12 (UK size 16). I look bloody marvellous in them. In a funny way, I prefer being this size. I think it suits my personality better.

11

Cristy…sorry about the keyboard, but I feel it is my solemn duty to bring to light that not every woman in American does not wear Victoria Secret undies, not after a couple of kids, at least.

Educating, or diseducating the public is never pretty.

(This is your ass…now this is your ass after a Winter of Discontent on Haagen-Daaz.)

Tansu - good for you for accepting yourself as you are. Based on my all carb diet , called the Comfort Food Diet Plan, I surprised myself by fitting into these jeans.

Swiddles: Don’t worry about money. There will never be enough. As for the waistline from Ben & Jerry’s…I highly suggest you sue them for at least 10 million for making your job at America’s premiere comedian more difficult because of belly rolls.* It’s all their fault.* There should be a Surgeon General’s warning on the cartons of all ice cream. I, for one and three for a dollar, would not be surprised to see if one of the ingredients in any ice cream is a combination of Nicotine and crack.

12

My little triumph came yesterday - I got into a pair of jeans 2 sizes smaller than what I have been wearing lately. Granted they were Just My Size stretch jeans and stretch they did, but I got them on and zipped while standing upright!

I decided a couple of months ago that I’d kinda like to live to and thru my retirement years, preferably NOT taking the current BP meds, so I’ve rejoined (for the umpteenth time) Fergie’s favorite weight loss group. When all is said and done, I’ll have lost an entire person, and I expect to enjoy my golden years without gasping for breath (well, except for certain circumstances :wink: ) and without fearing the stroke that took my grandmother far too early. And if I happen to look good too, well, that’s just a bonus!

But I’ll continue to wear my granny panties - I happen to like white cotton!

13

Shirley, you inspire me. I’ve been on a weight loss program for the last three weeks, and have lost 5 pounds and (I think) several inches. One day, I too will proudly wear the skinny jeans again. Ok, not the really skinny jeans. I gave all of those away after my first pregnancy.