Wow, I thought so. I remember that story.
If you remove it, I can almost promise there will be uproar. There was a lot of grief and hand-wringing at the time, and I doubt people would just shrug it off, particularly given the toy recently added. Those who suggest going to the town council to ask for guidance probably gave you good advice.
Dress it up and make it into a scarecrow.
FYI – you know what makes a great storage location while you wait for someone to claim it? A landfill!
Shame how it washed away in the Frankenstorm. 
The perspective of many of the posters here is all twisted around. The cross builders (and their sympathetic townfolk) should be the ones coming hat-in-hand to the property owners asking, “Please, please, please can we keep the memorial up?” not the other way around. It is important to set up the right power relationship at the outset, before you begin any negotiations. If you position yourself as an equal (or less), the cross builders will feel self-entitled to whatever encroachments they carved out for themselves before you came on the scene.
To that end, here’s what I would do. Put up a polite but firm note on the cross telling the builders that their cross is on your property and you wish to speak to them about it immediately. When they come to speak with you – you being ever polite, of course – ask them which prior owner gave them permission to erect the cross. They will probably say no one. To which you should be shocked, and respond, “Well, you can’t just go around building stuff on land you don’t own. You know that right?” Then you say, “And what about the permit? Things like that require a permit. Did you get one?” They will say no and you will be appropriately flabbergasted. Then you bring up insurance liability, and DEP violations, and any other legitimate concern you want to heap into the mix.
Then, and only then, do you work out a nice arrangement you can live with.
The bottom line is this: Unless someone sets them straight, they will cling to the perspective that the cross is a BIG deal to them, but it should be a small deal to you. You have to insist to them, up front, that it is a BIG deal to you, too! If you want to do them favors, that’s your call, but never place yourself at a disadvantage in the power relationship when you hold all the legal cards.
We all know that Renee has the legal right to take down the memorial. It is the reaction of her neighbors and townspeople that concerns her. She doesn’t want to make enemies nor does she want to unnecessarily upset people who are still actively grieving. It is not about simply asserting her rights, but rather asserting her rights with the appropriate degree of sensitivity.
Telling her to “set them straight” isn’t particularly constructive in meeting those ends. Besides being insensitive, it might very well end up causing her to targeted for repercussion, not just from family members but from strangers who hear about the confrontation. Living peacefully is undoubtedly a high priority for her.
And the only way to do that is to submit to the threat of violence or vandalism.
That’s possible - I heard that after the Dunblane massacre here in Scotland, there was bad feeling from the rest of the town that the bereaved wouldn’t just shut up and get over it, it was giving the town a bad name, don’t you know.
(heavy paraphrasing on my part, sorry)
I think she said somewhere in this six page monster that she see it everytime she drives up the driveway to her house. That would bother me.
We have much to learn from them?
How could we possibly know this? Currently, the only action that has been taken is to post a thread on a message board.
It’s also not just active retaliation, the OP lives out in the country now and will probably need these people for favors, or just information about who to talk to if you need such-and-such done, who not to talk to, who did what on her land and when, etc. Given that she has buildings in need of repair, land that is uninsured and a creek that floods. I’m actually surprised she has the time and mental energy to worry about how tacky-looking this cross is, I’d be much more concerned about my liabilities of this property overall, and not the additional risk of having a memorial on my land.
In the foreground of one of the pictures there are some old looking, quaint stone steps leading down to the wood. Just ahead and smack in the middle of the view that path leads to are the crosses, impossible to miss and quite at odds with the otherwise natural view.
I vote tear it down with extreme prejudice. It’s your property. It’s not like obscurring a grave or something.
The more I think about this, the more I want to change my vote to “leave it alone.”
Given that this thread has gone over 250 posts, I think it’s safe to say that takng it down will result in strong emotions. Given what I know of the culture in Maine, being new to the area and making changes in anything is going raise hackles somewhere with someone.
I wonder if the planting of a grove surrounding the area might not be the best choice? A nice grouping of hollys or hawthornes would close off the view in a year or less, and for the duration.
As little sense as it makes to us, that site is sacred to someone. Tread carefully. I don’t think you will ever regret choosing to treat it respectfully. Treating it disrespectfully cannot be undone, no matter how badly it turns out.
How can you have read this thread and not see what a horrible idea this is? Of course it’s her property and she is within her rights to do it. That doesn’t make it a stupid thing to do, at least at this point. Why not take a measured approach and talk to some of the locals first?
Why should Renee have the responsibility (both legally and insurance-wise) for this memorial?
Why can’t the memorial be moved to someplace appropriate?
Is it “the Town” or just 1 or 2 people that still care about this memorial?
First of all, while it is obvious that everyone posting to this thread “knows the OP has the legal right to tear down the cross,” it is not at all certain that the cross-builders know it, and that should be remedied ASAP. They probably think it’s on public land. Or that the bank owns the land and it has no problem with the cross because it gave initial permission or never objected to it in the first place.
The situation changed when the OP took ownership of the land and, if nothing else, *the cross-builders should be made aware of this new ownership in no uncertain terms as quickly as possible. *The longer the OP waits, the more the cross-builders will feel entitled to their encroachment, and the harder it will be to have it removed or diminished on the OP’s terms now or further down the line.
She shouldn’t.
It probably can at some point.
I have no idea. That’s why she should talk to some locals to find out.
I didn’t read everyone’s response so this may be a repeat. Take it out, plant a tree with a small plaque in front…“in memory of…” End of story.
As one of those in the former category, I don’t think you are right at all. At least in my rural community, we understand property rights and know that you are allowed to do what you want with your property (within applicable laws, of course) and if the people in Renee’s area are the least bit intelligent, they will too. What usually happens is that the people that are opposed to taking down the memorial will grumble a little bit, but ultimately realize it was her property to do with what she wanted.
Right, but even if they *intellectually *realize that **Renee **can do what she wants with her land, emotionally, they’re going to be thinking “this outsider came in and the first thing she does, even before taking care of all the nasty-ass outbuildings and other crap on her trashy property is to tear down dear Cindy’s memorial and dump it by the side of the road like so much trash. Well, what can you expect from (insert whatever they think Renee is) instead of good community people who know better.”
No one’s saying that this is reasonable or right (or very few people are saying that) but it is a very likely response, and people who think otherwise are either extremely sheltered about small-town politics and culture, or are Pollyanna.
Renee, small towns are hell. Tread carefully, and good luck. I’d want it out also, but I would go with clearing up your own stuff first, and once the property is looking good otherwise, then talk to the DEP and the insurance company about it.
Then talk to the minister at the church where the funeral was held. That person will very likely be able to get you into direct contact with the family, and you can all go out somewhere for tea or coffee (out in public is good, it lets people walk away more easily and no one has “home turf advantage”) and talk about options.
I really like the trees by the roadside option, and think that would be a lovely suggestion, as well as offering to go to Town Council and starting a petition to have a plaque or some sort of small memorial that people could contribute to the cost of, and have an official place by the road - you could even be hugely nice and donate a tiny little plot of land by the road specifically for the purpose.
Just go slow, have lots of legal/environmental backup for your wanting to take it down (erase the word tacky from your vocabulary) and be willing to compromise even though it’s your land.
Or, just accept that there is a very real possibility that the town will hereafter treat you as an infidel and a heartless person.
I’m not sheltered or Pollyanna and I certainly know damn well how small town politics work. I guess small town people out here are more realistic and practical and more ‘live and let live’ than those in small towns out east.