Doesn’t really much matter if the OP lives in Pleasantville. Every town has some crazy people. The risk here is the crazy people might be the people who put up the cross. No use pissing off the crazies if you don’t have too. At least in a big town the crazies are random, you’ll probably never see em again, and the crazies have plenty of other potential targets for their ill concieved ire.
In a small town? Can’t hardly avoid the crazies. The crazies know exactly where you live and work and your schedule and so on and so on. Their target list is much smaller so they can devote much more time to you. And being in a small town they probably have more free time in the first place as well.
From some of the comments posted by people familiar with the area, Maine in particular sounds like a tough nut to crack wrt established resident’s view of newcomers.
I’d leave it, let nature take its course. The cross might be tacky, but from the photos, it’s only tacky when you get close. The details are difficult to see from a distance. In spring and summer when the trees and shrubberies are fully leafed, it might not be visible at all.
You ain’t jus’ whistling dixie. If you weren’t born here, you’re “from away” and will always be. Although it seems to me I work with quite a few people who are “from away” but fit in quite well - couldn’t tell the difference (except the accent). Some people have a way with going native I guess.
And really, even people from southern Maine are suspect anywhere north of about Brunswick. They’re from the “other Maine”. This likely ties in with the rural vs urban backgrounds.
After reading about the lack of insurance I wouldn’t admit I even know the cross is there. I suspect the bank loan involves some kind of forced insurance plan.
I would go with a combo of kayT and Mooch advice: Advise the relatives formally yet politely that you have purchased the property and the memorial will need to be removed. If they would like to retrieve it, the keepsakes and the bench they should contact you some time before such-and-such a date to make arrangements.
And I certainly wouldn’t offer to let them replace it with another type of memorial on your property. That could offend them and would make no sense from a liability standpoint.
Power grieversare really combattative the first few years after a loved ones death. Their emotion is to protect their loved ones, and as that is no longer possible, the emotion shifts to being fiercely protective of symbols, like road side memorials. That is good to keep in mind.
I was wondering if there`s been any new developments to this story ?
Did the cross survive the winter ? Have the family of the deceased revisited ? Has the OP talked to anyone in town about moving the memorial ?
You may be looking at a condition which could give rise to a claim under a legal doctrine known as “adverse possession”, under which you could lose the title to the land - the concrete has to go.
Here’s wiki for you:
See local lawyer (or one in nearby town, if you are concerned about repercussion from discussing removal of the local “Monument to Beloved Neighbor”.
The family stopped by today to let us know that there would be a balloon releasing ceremony (they said about 100 balloons) on the anniversary. We said that was fine, and expressed our condolences for their loss. We wondered if the cross be replaced by a more natural looking monument, and the father suggested a boulder with a plaque, which we said would be lovely. Apparently the family did not even erect the cross, the previous property owner did, and they are not particularly attached to it. So that’s great.
We are going to buy some flowers to leave at the site before the ceremony, along with a card. I’m not sure exactly what to write on the card, so any thoughts would be appreciated. We did get his business card, and they do still live in the area. They visit our creek once a year to clean up and release more balloons, they said.
That’s too bad there will still be a “site” on your property, even if it is only visited once a year. All in all, it sounds like that’s the best you could have hoped for. Perhaps you can ask that it’s moved off your property or at least just off the road.
These people presumable have graves. I don’t get the attachment to the spot where the corpses washed up.