You know, it doesn’t really resonate with us either, but the man’s daughter died, and I just cannot imagine what a horror that is. We don’t like the cross because it looks messy and we like to keep our land looking nice, but a memorial is a comfort to this family, we’re fine with it. We just want it to look nice. We are just glad that they seem like nice people. 
Maine? I was raised in a rural area 4000 miles east of Maine and everything said by rural types in this thread rings true to me.
Happy that the situation was solved in a mutually agreeable way.
Depending on the boulder, you might end up finding one that looks look like a natural part of the creek.
But does a less-tacky monument get around the question of adverse possession that usedtobe brought up? I don’t even pretend to understand the legal issues here, but it sounds like a monument of any kind would be an invitation to trespassers and could affect your property rights.
Are you concerned?
I don’t think adverse possession applies - the memorial will belong to her - on her property. There are visitors to this property.
Seems like it doesn’t meet the basic requirements…
Yes I know Wikipedia isn’t the law.
I’m glad it had a happy ending. I don’t think it matters what the card says - you care - they know it and will appreciate it. I tend to think simple is better. Trying to come up with some grand message about death/life could be insulting.
I am glad you didn’t go the insurance route. I have heard that excuse so many times for things I just assume the person saying it is incompetent or lying.
Sounds like based on some of your posts someone dropped that ball in not guessing that the memorial was built by the former owner - based on your description that the former owner’s place looked similar to the monument in style (don’t remember exact words).
FWIW, I’m not religious - but I get the desire to want to visit the location where someone died in an accident. For some reason - I don’t have the same attraction to the location where someone died in a bathroom, hospital, whatever. Maybe if outside - maybe I would in those cases too. I could see if it was in a peaceful area - being attracted to that area. I find the memorial benches in central park to be oddly touching.
Also - FWIW - the world could use more neighbors like you.
Whatever else you decide to do, I’d put up some “Private Property - No Trespassing” signs. And I’d go ahead and remove the ribbons and those long deflated balloon corpses. And I’d keep in mind that It. Is. MY. Property.
And I’d also keep in mind that however tempting it would be, planting Bouncing Bettys around it would be an over-reaction. And illegal.
Renee thank you for the update. Glad it seems to be working out well for all concerned. Very glad you can removed the cross and put in a boulder & plaque. I agree with DataX a simple card is best, preprinted “so sorry for your loss” type where you can sign your name. The flowers are a very very nice touch. You are a good neighbor.
I still like the idea of 2 different trees planted there Mother/daughter style. thanks for the update. Glad everything worked out.
You might want to tell them that balloonsturn out to be an ecological hazard. What does he want, kill dolphins and marine turtles to commemorate his daughters death?
Yeah, I’m not going there. I’d rather they float flowers down the stream, but the cross situation is being resolved and that’s good enough for me. We will clean up any balloons we find on our property.
Also, for the record, getting insurance on this place has been a huge pain in the ass because of the renovation status and issues with the outbuildings. We are still not fully insured, and our usual insurance company did say that the cross was a problem. I’m not sure they can call a rock an issue, though.
If they are there with her permission, adverse possession is off the table.
This is so far from an adverse possession situation it doesn’t even bear mentioning. Adverse possession requires continuous, hostile, open and notorious, actual, and exclusive possession. Only one of those elements would be met by leaving some of your stuff under a tree and visiting it once a year.
I’m glad you’re taking the high road, Renee.
As far as the card goes, I’d say something like this:
“Our thoughts are with you and your family on this difficult day. Peace be with you.”
I’d go even simpler: “In memoriam, Jane Doe, birthdate-deathdate”
I don’t know the girls birthdate. I like punditlisa’s wording, thanks.
That’s really good - I like that.