When we bought this place, we actually didn’t realize the creek was on our land, all we had was a tiny town plot map that made it look like the creek was the edge of the lot. Turns out we also have about 5 acres on the other side. (we got a really good deal on this property.)
Those of you that make the very valid point that it really isn’t bothering us are right, and I’m not that worried about anyone getting hurt out there. I do worry about propery values a bit because it kind of makes the whole road look trashy. If we decide to sell this house in the future the cross will have to go.
It honestly does rather bug me that it looks ugly every time I drive up to my house, though. I know it’s silly, but otherwise it’s such gorgeous land, I don’t like looking at it. But it isn’t the end of the world or anything. I don’t know. Obviously this minor inconvenience is nothing compared to what that poor family went through, and I don’t know how anyone would ever truly get over such a tragedy. I just wish they had better taste in memorials.
I am anything but a benthamite. I consider the utilitarian argument the weakest which is why I pointed it out; the rights and wrongs are much clearer in my mind.
If the family of the memorial victims are still in the area, then I would try find a local to
a) explain he situation
b) broker a tasteful resolution to the family
And, I would add, kudos to you for trying to figure out the “right” thing to do. Not sure your locale or where you come from, but small towns can be a community with obligations and ways of doing things that may be different than what you’re used to.
Again, I’d try to find an approachable local that knows the backstory and figure out some approaches that you’re happy with that keeps the locals happy as well.
I hadn’t thought of that. Very diplomatic phrasing. We’re still leaning towards blaming the (heartless, cruel) insurance company, and approaching them via mail. We are in the middle of adding a garage to the house, so we can say that the insurance co saw the memorial when they came out to see the garage and didnt like it, gave us 30 days to remove it.
Not only would you be lying for no bloody reason other than lack of gonads, but imagine if the family then asks for your support in going to the press/local TV about the heartless insurance company?
Ultimately it is your right to have the thing off your property. I do think you would be being very nasty (at the least) to do so and would entirely deserve the shunning you may get from your new local community, but it is your right. But if you are to do so then at least own your nastiness.
I like China Guy’s recommendation. You’ll hopefully live there for a long time, and it would be wise at this point not to burn any bridges (or memorials) accidentally. You can always come back to the issue later.
We do love the land, its fantastic. I adore living here.
My concern about trying to broker a tasteful arangement is that obviously the family considers the current situation perfectly tasteful, or they would not be continuing to decorate it with McDonald’s toys. I’m not sure we are going to come to an agreement here.
Your opinion is noted. I think I disagree that our motive here is pure nastiness, I feel that by blaming the insurance company we could avoid personally insulting these people and give them time to move the memorial to a more appropriate location.
I also feel like if you are going to erect such a monument as this on another person’s land, at least you could clean up the deflated balloons and other associated junk. Again, I feel badly for the family, but we aren’t thrilled with the current situation.
Why not have a chat with the local police to get their perspective? They’d know more about the personalities involved and give you an idea of what to expect, maybe even help you come to an agreement.
Even though they’re “cops! :eek:” - on some level, dealing with stuff like this is their job too.
wow, that is a tacky mess. What I’d want to do (but wouldn’t) is find the actual grave site and relocate all that crap and see how they like it.
I think you’re stuck with it for awhile until you can get a lay of the land so to speak. It’s not worth a war with people you don’t know. I think a nice engraved plaque at the side of the road would be the best solution. I like the insurance angle. You can’t have people on your land for liability reasons.
this whole thing reminds me of a an accident in my city years ago. Some drunk decided to have a go at a bridge at an intersection and lost. Someone welded up a cross and placed it in cement the next day. The city cut it down the following day.
As to the idea that these things go away, I see them all over the place. If it’s a mowing problem they tend to disappear but if it’s a tree then they tend to stay tacked up to the trunk. It’s a delicate problem for home owners.
If you don’t have police then maybe some other impartial person who knows both you and the family can help break the ice on it? The local friendly grocery store owner or someone like that?
If you’re not in a hurry, you might plant some trees or plants (evergreens, mountain rhododendrons) that would conceal the memorial from the road, and see if ‘out of sight’ turns into ‘out of mind’ after awhile.
Renee has gone to extraordinary lengths to try and do the right thing and be as considerate as possible not just to any bereaved relatives but also the community at large. She’s solicited the opinions here of those she trusts and has given them careful consideration. If her choice doesn’t jive with your wish maybe you should have presented you case better. But in no way does she deserve criticism for her efforts. We should all be so lucky as to have a neighbor and friend like her. I’m touched by her compassion and know that whatever she does it’ll be for the right reasons and overall best of everyone concerned.
My advice (and IANAL) was to be sure your state’s DNR isn’t a factor. If you don’t, you may be socked with unwanted lawsuits with you on the wrong side of the bench. Do you really want to take that chance? Do you have unlimited, deep pockets?
And I also pointed out that the DNR might be in your favor, too. But if you don’t investigate, not only are you potentially opening yourself up to lawsuits that you cannot win, but you are possibly ignoring some powerful interests on your side.
Why remain ignorant? Isn’t insight and education what you came to this thread for?
One problem with the sabotage suggestion is that it’s been discussed on this thread, where pictures of the memorial have been posted, and this thread is now the fifth Google result for “drowning memorial creek maine”. I wouldn’t rule out someone from the bereaved family typing that phrase into Google at some point.
FWIW, I think I’d plant something to hide it from the road and forget about it, at least for now. I definitely would delay any firm decision until I’ve got some sense of how the family feel about it.
Oh, heck. Really?? This example could be a sticky note. This is a great place to hash things out, but naturally curious posters and readers doing detective work can definitely monkeywrench things.
Since the tragedy happened a while ago, I’m not that worried about people googling it, although I will take photos down after this thread dies.
Thanks for the defense, lieu. We actually have a lot of good will built up in th neighborhood just from renovating this house, which was as much of an eyesore as the cross when we bought it.
