Knock it down when the storm comes. Take photos.
Remove but save every little thing. Inter those things, with great respect, (more photos!), in a spot you’d like to place the bench, should the family up the road, wish to come and visit. Install some small indicator, plaque or small wrought iron cross, whatever, at the same location.
Claim to be a tree hugger, can’t have ‘stuff’ in your portion of the creek, must have it natural!
That’s what I would do.
I like this idea! Just be sure to get sturdy trees that can withstand whatever hardships might come for your area.
I know you said you didn’t want to talk to the family but the fact that you didn’t realize this was on your property at first gives you the perfect opening, I think. “We just learned that this is all part of the property we purchased and we wondered what you would like to do with the memorial that was put here.” I really don’t understand why people are suggesting that you are responsible to put up a different memorial. You didn’t know the people who died, they didn’t die on your property, etc. I say just put the ball in the family’s court. I bet they would just come get it. And the issue of blocking a waterway is likely a real one, so you should definitely check that out.
Also, it’s clearly a dangerous area, as people have died there, both you and your insurance company ought to be uncomfortable with anything that draws people to the spot. And, in the name of avoiding any future deaths, any memorial really should be moved back a safer distance from the stream.
I should think you could easily make that case, when asked where it went. You may be surprised, if it’s been up five years, a lot of people might be tired of looking at it. And still others may not notice it at all, by now.
If that link isn’t working for anybody else, I believe it to be the same as this one.
I just read through this thread - I was surprised to see it was in Maine at first - then when I read through to the point you described the woman and child dying in the flood - I knew exactly what that was. I live in Maine and I remember when the accident occurred. I live far enough away from the site to not be personally affected, but I was saddened by the thought of taking down the memorial.
Just so you know - no one will be fooled by the whole “insurance liability” approach. They will not buy it and even if they did, it won’t matter. The first thing you should do is talk to your neighbors. We own about 20 acres in a rural area in Maine and our neighbors knew more about our house and who lived in it when and what they did than we really wanted to know. Likely there are neighbors near you who can tell you everything you need to know about the situation and give good advice about how to approach it.
If you just take it down - you will create bad feelings.
Also - I just happen to work at the Maine DEP. You should call (207-287-2651) and ask for a permit before you do anything. Placing the cross where it is was, was likely a violation, however, removing it without a permit would also be a violation. The permit (should you decide to go ahead and remove it) is a small effort and a small fee versus a big fine if you do not get the permit. You should assume anyone noticing the removal may also know this fact (especially if they have feelings about the cross). Better to be upfront on both fronts than try to play games.
Just some advice from a cranky Mainer.
So they’ll get fined for removing it without a permit, but nothing will happen to the people who built it without a permit? That doesn’t sound quite right to me. If enforcement of permit laws was happening, at all, wouldn’t this site have already been addressed?
And how is it an insurance ‘dodge’ if people perished in this location during a flood? How is, attracting them to sit, in this unsafe spot, not irresponsible and not insurance concern?
Kudzu. The cross will be smothered in under a month.
You’re asking how not to be the bad guy while trying to do a very, very, very bad thing. That woman and child were someone’s wife, daughter, granddaughter, friend, mother, or otherwise significant to a lot of people. The cross means something to some of those people, and they clearly still visit it. Taking that away because you find the way they chose to memorialize them tacky is awful. Honestly, I don’t know you or them, and I think you are a bad person for even considering removing that cross. If you remove it, there is absolutely no way for it to end any way other than very badly for you. At best you are going to be known as “that asshole who removed the memorial to little Jenny”. At worst you will see retaliation in the form of violence or destruction of your property.
The enforcement of building permits and most permits in rural Maine is highly dependent upon the correct agency becoming aware of the violation. In most cases this happens when a neighbor or passerby who knows the law calls in a report. I would guess at least some of the neighbors in this case are aware of the law. If she removes the cross and one of the neighbors who is aware of the law disagrees with the action, they could very well report the action.
Also (to OP) - the town DOES care about the plumbing permits - it’s just that if they don’t know about it - they don’t do anything. Depends on the plumber or contractor doing the work - most good ones get the appropriate permits first - if you are doing your own work you should get the right permits. If you’re in the unorganized territories, there are still permits required through the Land Use and Planning Commission (via county government).
As far as the insurance thing - yeah sure, if the agency actually comes out and declares the cross a hazard or some such - she can remove it and say why - sounds like upthread she was just going to say that’s the reason without actually getting any insurance company to come out. Even if she does this through the insurance agency, the neighbors will not accept it as a thoughtful, neighborly action - because it is not.
Wrong to put it there does not equate to okay to take it out on your own. People with actual DEP knowledge have addressed this issue already.
As for the insurance thing. That white lie will bite the OP in the ass unless the insurance people ACTUALLY tell them it has to go.
Where did my little Jennies cross go?
My insurance said it had to go.
I don’t believe you. Do you have a letter?
Yes (cough, cough). But I don’t have to show it to you.
Sure… (lying jerk).
Either deal with this on the up and up way legally and morally, let nature and time take its course on its own, or just find something more important to worry about.
All this namby pamby shady white lie kinda stuff suggested here is more likely IMO to backfire, make things worse, or actually get the OP in trouble socially and or legally.
The mourners erected a cross, so it’s safe to assume followers of the teachings of Jesus Christ wouldn’t be so vindictive as to retaliate against people who removed an attractive nuisance from property they own.
Or they might be some Old Testament ass kickers 
I’d take it down, and I’m religious. Fairly devout actually. If you are so moved put up a little plaque as some have suggested. It’s your property, you can do as you see fit. But maybe take it down when the least amount of passersby might be driving. And don’t tell anyone you are thinking about removing it. If someone has been visiting it they must not have left flowers or other stuff, so I’d guess it’s abandoned.
I guess I’m cold and unfeeling because I hate all manner of memorials like this. Why would you want to remember where your love one died?? My dad had a heart attack while taking a shower when my folks were visiting a friend - I get a giggle at the thought of erecting a cross with teddy bears and balloons in that friend’s bathroom…
Anyway, if it was my property, the memorial would be gone. You can grieve the way you want, but not in my yard. Sorry.
I agree with FairyChatMom. There are better places to honor loved ones that the scene of a terrifying, horrific, tragic death. The family can visit the site where the remains are interred. If they wish to park on the public right way and gaze at the scene, they should do so. They had no right to permanently mark someone else’s property with a grisly reminder of the accident, and I’m suprised that anyone feels it is acceptable to brand the new property owners’ home with such a dismal reminder.
If everyone was allowed to put up a memorial in the place where someone died unexpectedly, we’d have no room to move. I don’t think she’s a bad person, I think she’s someone stuck between a rock and a hard place. I can’t blame the OP for wanting that to go away, or at the very least be toned down. I also can’t blame the family of those who died for wanting to do something in their memory. Personally I’d rather remember the lost in places they’d lived and loved, and I don’t like physical memorials much, but that’s me.
There is no easy answer, I think the best the OP can do is to try and find the family, and see where their grief is and try to come to a compromise. I think a smaller stone marker (a cross? a child statue? an animal figurine?) and perhaps some attractive native shrub or wildflower plantings would be nice, especially if they were set in such a way as to sort of overshadow some of the more garish offerings.
The memorial just needs to be moved to the closest public property, near the road perhaps. Gatherers still have a place to remember and mourn but without committing trespass. Renee and her family have every right to the expectation of privacy at their residence.
Simply move it nearby so it’s more accessible and doesn’t create an unwelcome intrusion. I’d think most would find that considerate and reasonable.
In fairness, in this case the man continually tearing down the memorial is tearing down memorials erected on public land, land that isn’t anywhere near his land.
He seems to be doing this for an honest personal reason, but still, his obsession with tearing the memorial down is just that; an obsession, a compulsion, based on a similar past event, to keep destroying something that has nothing to do with him and that isn’t any of his business. His fixation on this particular spot and memorial is irrational and weird. He’s not a bad man, but he is a little weird in the head.
That’s very, very different from someone erecting a memorial on your own property. I feel terrible for a family that lost two family members, especially when one was just a little child. It’s an unspeakable loss. But nobody is obliged to maintain their property as a frigging memorial. A temporary memorial with flowers and stuff is one thing, but after awhile it’s time to let the property owner enjoy their property.
I wouldn’t draw any insurance agent attention to this. If they don’t like it, you won’t have a choice and some insurance agents look for any reason to drop accounts that they’re not comfortable with. (Say, the agent doesn’t like that you’re doing home remodeling work because some other client of his had an accident doing home remodeling work)
I’m and active Christian and can tell you that THE MOST VINDICTIVE people I’ve ever met all went to Church every Sunday. I don’t know what it is, but you should never trust someone who wears their Christianity on their sleeve. They are the reason the phase “a wolf in sheep’s clothing” was invented.
