I have been pissed since this morning at dumbfuck #1 and dumbfuck #2 at the gas station early today. For the sake of this story, remember the I live in Assboink, NY and this is not a “pay at the pump” station. However, there are signs all over that say “Pull away from pumps before coming inside”. They put your gas purchase in some sort of queue and the next person can start pumping as soon as you’re done and the clerk resets the system.
Dumbfuck #1- There are 4 gas pumps at the Stop and Rob near my house, and I had to get gas this morning. I pull up to the station and the pumps on the right side of the island are both in use, so I pull up on the left side. Dumbfuck is parked smack in the middle of the island so I can’t pull in far enough to get to my pump, so I have to wait for him to get back to his car and move it the fuck out of the way so I can pull up and get gas. (Turns out “my” pump was out of order anyway, so I had to use his) So I wait.
And wait
and wait
and wait
Finally, fuckwit comes out of the store carrying the newspaper and STROLLING across the lot, glancing the headlines and sipping his coffee. He stops (never looking up once), pauses to read some more of the paper, then takes another sip and starts strolling again. At this point, I’m FUCKING FURIOUS. How hard is it to get your goddamned gas and pull away from the pumps? Park your shitmobile someplace else (like a parking spot) and THEN go in the store and shop. Stupid pigfucker. So I unroll the window at this point (there are 3, count 'em 3 cars behind ME waiting, too. The place is swamped) and yell "Hey! **TODAY! While we’re young, you dumb pigfucker! ** OK, I didn’t say “pigfucker”, but MAN I wanted to! So pigfucker gets in his shitmobile and pulls away from the pumps. His car had been facing me nose to nose, and suddenly dumbfuck #2 shows up…
Dumbfuck #2- saw the line of cars waiting for my gas pump and pulled in ON THE OTHER SIDE OF pigfucker. As soon as pigfucker pulled away, dumbfuck #2 SHOOTS into his place and jumps out of his car, intent on pumping his gas. Bull-freaking-shit. This time I open the car door and jump out. “Hey, hey, hey! What do you think we’re all waiting for? Get in line!” I yelled. This punk jerkoff huffs and gets all mad, then gets back into his punkmobile and squeals his tires pulling out of the lot to go to another station.
I then pumped my gas, PULLED AWAY FROM THE PUMPS, parked my car and went inside to pay for the gas. THEN I poured my coffee, browsed the snacky aisle, paid for my goods, and left.
What the fuck is wrong with people? I mean, are you the only person in the fucking world? Pay attention and have some goddamned courtesy! I know worse things happen, but this happens a lot and it just frosts my ass. Today I got up on the wrong side of the bed, and I could have kicked either one of thier asses happily and gone on with my day.
Zette
currently chewing on Midol like Mentos
