When someone calls for one of my roommates, and that roommate isn’t there, is it up to me to ask the caller if he or she would like to leave a message? Or is it the caller’s responsibility to ask me if I could please take a message?
I ask this because of something that happened recently. Someone called for roommate A. I told the caller that A was currently at work, and I didn’t know when he would be back. There was a second of silence. Then the caller said, “Uh, ok. Bye.”
Roommate B overheard the conversation (well, my side of it anyway; the other side was easy to infer). She asked me why I didn’t ask the caller if he wanted to leave a message. I told her I would have been happy to take a message, but the caller didn’t ask me to.
(B seemed to think I was completely nuts and/or somewhat rude for holding this opinion.)
Am I being rude not asking callers if they want to leave a message?
I hadn’t really thought about this. I usually ask if they would like to leave a message, but I dislike being asked. Most of the reasons I call people don’t make for good messages, and when someone asks, I always feel like a dope saying no.
I wouldn’t worry about it. For important things, people will ask to leave a message.
I agree with rsa. Contrary to what some may tell you, there is a difference between being rude and failing to do the most polite thing. Being rude requires flaunting polite manners; for example, if the person asked to leave a message and you declined to take it. “Uh, I don’t have anything to write on right here … just call back later, OK?” That’s rude.
However, since you asked, the polite thing to do would be to ask if they would like to leave a message.
Don’t know what Ms. Manners would say, but to me the civil thing would be to offer to take a msg. As a caller, if I really need to contact someone, I always ask if I can leave a message.
~~I once had two female roommates… which means the phone
rang off the f_____ hook… I hardly ever asked the caller
if they wanted me to take a message… they were going
to call back in thirty minutes anyway
I don’t see it as a big deal… no, you’re not being rude
because the caller may be in a fix and not need the
roommate to call them back… only they know and that’s
why they should ask
IMHO I think it depends on what you and your roommates want!
Some might not want you to take a message…
But, I have to say… when I call somewhere I would like the person on the other end to at least offer!
I would even probably take it a step further than most, if I was the one receiving the call…
For example,
(phone rings, Angel crosses DL and answers the phone)
[In her best telephone voice] Angel: Hello Caller: Can I speak to “Roomie”, please? Angel: Sorry “Roomie” isn’t here right now. Caller: Oh Angel: I expect him back in about 2 hours…you can call him then if you like or I will be glad to take a message…
(at that point Angel either takes a message or the person will say they will just call back, to which Angel replys)
Angel: Well, can I tell “Roomie” who called?
[/In her best telephone voice]
If it’s important, they’ll either call back or leave a message. They need to be proactive.*
*The exception to this rule applies if it’s a potential love interest, i.e. if a male is calling for a single, heterosexual female, take the messages.
Offer to take the message–they can always decline to leave one! But this way they DO have the option!
I might add here that if you are a telemarketer or some such thing and you want me to take a message, be prepared to tell me who you are(that means the company you represent, not your personal name). You don’t have to tell me the nature of the call–just ID yourself. I have had these people call me and say, “Can I speak to John Doe, please.” I ask who’s calling and I hear, “This is Kim–can I please speak to Mr. Doe?” Many times, I have to take a message and I get the same thing:“Would you have Mr. Doe call Kim at this number?” This happened a lot whenever my sister had no phone and had to get messages at my number. After she got a phone, the calls still came in and they’d want me to hand out a phone number–NO WAY!! You won’t identify yourself and I’m supposed to give out a private number?? I got to where I told them that if they couldn’t tell me who they were calling for, then I could not pass along the message. Furthermore, since they now had a phone, my number was to be removed from their records. I let them know in no uncertain terms that telling me who they were now was their only chance of getting in touch with the other party! They usually (grudgingly) relented.
WOW–I didn’t mean to rant on so!! Sorry about that!!