But geography is also a big factor here. Not everyone wants to work in New York City. There are lots of good regional firms that hire from the T14 schools and one or more of the local schools (typically only those in the top 10% or so of the class).
And I’ve got news for you. Not everyone wants to work for a white-shoe law firm. In fact, something like 90 - 95% of attorneys don’t practice that way and most probably wouldn’t if they were offered the opportunity to. Prestige doesn’t correlate to quality of legal work or to quality of life. Plus, there’s a vast range of practice between Bob Smith’s and Cravath.
Nothing wrong with it, if that’s what you want. But why play that game if you aren’t really interested in the prize?
What do you want to do in your legal career.
Do you want to go into acedemia?
Do you have years of experience in a particular area and want to seal it? I don’t think so.
Do you want to work in house in a certain industry?
If any of the above are true, then go for it, otherwise forget it.
You learn “law” on your feet practicing, not in a classroom, where you learn about law. My pupil masters favourite comment.
You made a blanket statement that your law school pedigree is largely “irrelevant.” That’s still wrong, no matter what figures you pull out of your ass about what attorneys would want to do.
Here is a helpful flowchart.
But hey, if you decide to go, can my husband have your job? We’re willing to relocate anywhere on the globe for steady and dull.
There comes a time in everyone’s life when you stop enrolling in “programs” and start ,well,…ya know, actually doing something with your life.
And when you’re doing it, you usually don’t get to use the word “cool” to describe it.
(disclosure: I managed to delay maturity, and reach age 27 doing cool stuff, and without ever working a full-time job. But the last couple decades I haven’t been enrolled in any program;--------just the same job, the same mortgage, and with the same spouse.
Not cool.
But not so bad, either 
Give it a try.
(and besides, it’s kinda nice knowing that you will never,ever,ever,ever have to sit for another exam.
When’s the last time a colleague, client or judge asked you where you went to law school? When’s the last time you were intimidated by someone based solely on their pedigree?
Go for it. Please leave the market. Going back to school and racking up more debt for a mostly useless but fun degree? Totally worth it.
Though top tier is somewhat misleading. USNWR lists the top 100 schools as top tier, but no one actually considers DePaul or West Virginia U. as “top tier”.
In all seriousness, don’t be an idiot. There are literally thousands of recent grads from better schools with better grades who are smarter and more capable than you who would kill to have a steady job with Gov bennies. As much as Rand Rover would like to pretend otherwise, it’s about 80% luck and timing, which you have apparently managed to match up.
This LLM idea is pretty dumb, but hey, more power to you if you want to give a job to someone who actually wants it.