Wait til the Old Men In Charge read this report. HPV vaccine will become part of the childhood vaccine regimen.
So, blowing my husband six times a day does not put me at higher risk? I mean, assuming he’s a safe partner?
Whew. No problems here.
“Blowjob?”
“Ah, no thanks. I’m trying to cut down.”
“Good for you!”
“Yeah, I’m down to three a day now-- one when I wake up, one after lunch, and one before bed.”
“Well, you’re a stronger person than I. Seems lately I’m fellating more than ever.”
“Man, doesn’t throat cancer scare you?”
“Sure, but it’s just become such a part of my life I don’t even realize I’m doing it anymore. Sometimes I’ll just be sitting there watching TV, and the next thing you know, I’m sucking a penis. I don’t even realize I’m grabbing for the damn things, ya know?. My neighbor likes to tease me when we play cards- he says sometimes I’ll start sucking a new penis before I’m even through with the first one.”
“Wow! You are addicted.”
“Tell me about it! But the worst is when I’m drinking. Almost as soon as the alcohol hits my lips, I’m looking for a dick to put in my mouth.”
“I know how that is. I’m afraid to even have a drink since I cut back. You know what helps with the cravings?”
“What?”
“Anal sex.”
“Yeah, I’ve seen guys doing that, like baseball players, but it just seems so…gross.”
“Eh, to each his own.”
“Well, good luck!”
“Thanks!”
And scene.
Damn, Happy, if that isn’t the funniest thing I’ve read in a fortnight!
I think he was just keeping with the reported findings. I daresay that if your significant other has sampled as many as thirty-seven dicks, you may have cause for alarm.
Sorry, couldn’t help myself.
At least they had the decency to hold their findings until after prom season was over.
*Jackie’s in the elevator
HPV second floor
She said, “Can I see you later
And infect you a little more?”
I hope that I don’t get stuck
Nobody gets out alive
She said, “I’ll show you how to test
For the virus, honey
And have you home by five”
Love in an elevator
Takin’ a risk when I’m goin’ down
Love in an elevator
Lovin’ it up 'til I hit the ground*
Yeah, late, but I couldn’t help myself.
I’m pretty sure the number “six” was used because it’s quoted in the second paragraph of the linked article:
But we should have seen it comin’.