And of course I meant “'s", not “#'S”.
"” being the vile mysogiynest festering rectum from last season…
Oh, I would have shaved my head, but I would have cried about it the whole time. And pretty much the entire rest of the race afterwards, too. When I get my hair trimmed, it takes months to get back to its original length, because my hair doesn’t grow very fast. And Joyce is lucky, because she has a beautifully-shaped head. I don’t - I have a head shaped like one of those canteloupes in the grocery store, at the bottom of the bin, that is half rotted and deformed. As far as I know, I don’t have flies, though.
But Joyce absolutely and completely rocks my world. It seems to me that she let her head be shaved more because she didn’t want to lose this race for Uchenna than because she wanted the million dollars (although that will certainly help). Makes me wonder: What do they think is wrong with their marriage? I wish that my marriage were as “problematic” as theirs.
I think I want to make her the Official Best Girlfriend of the Reality TV Boyfriend Cult.
Wow, so everything that happened last week had absolutely no bearing on the second half of the leg this week. I’m mildly in favor of these TBC uber-legs, just because it mixes things up, but at the beginning of the leg, we had an eight-hour wait for the train, a 24-hour train ride, and a twelve-hour wait for hte market to open. That’s way longer than a Pit Stop, and plus all teams are essentially tied, so what’s the point?
Taxi Assessment
Stuck in the Desert and Officially Detained - or, Philiminated with extreme prejudice.
Ryan/Chuck and Megan/Heidi and Debbie/Bianca and Susan/Patrick and Ray/Deana andBrian/Greg - Aw, I miss some of these teams. Of course, others I don’t miss, so it all evens out.
Lynn/Alex (downgraded from Passing Lane) - Phil does not punish all mistakes evenly, for some are more grievous than others. As this team found to their sorrow. It was just a little error – I mean, who would have thought there’d be two palaces carved out of rock right next to each other? – but it cost far too much time, and came at a critical juncture. Too bad Lynn and Alex didn’t think of enlisting the help of a hotel manager for the entire day, so they could avoid these types of navigation errors. Oooo, that must just burn every time they tink about it.
Flat Tire - or, not likely to get anywhere soon.
No one this week.
Stopping for Gas - or, not broken-down, exactly, but not a good sign.
Meredith/Gretchen (holding steady) - My God is this team lucky. Here’s an amazing statistic: there have been eight episodes so far, one of them a double. Since episode two, where they were sixth out of the Pit Stop, Meredith and Gretchen have started every leg in the bottom third tier of teams. They’ve always been playing catch-up. Every episode. And yet they’re still here. I kind of picture this team as a neophyte tight rope walker. With every step, you expect them to fall, but somehow the rope is always just underneath their foot. Astonishingly, this team is one stupid mistake (by someone else) from being in the final three. If that happens, though, look for it to really be a final two. Meredith and Gretchen have been lucky enough not to be in last place when it counted, but they’ve never, ever, seriously challenged for first.
"Hey, Homes!" - or, making meaningless ineffectual comments from the back seat, but in no immediate danger.
In the Passing Lane - or, ahead of the pack, but not quite comfortably.
Ron/Kelly (upgraded from “Hey Homes!”) - Another strong finish; Ron and Kelly have finished in the top half in every episode since their footrace in episode one. That deserves an upgrade. However, I still think this team is the weakest of the top three. They clearly profited this episode from following Rob and Amber and the local help, and Kelly seems bound and determined to eventually piss off Ron so much that he quits in disgust. Or intentionally gets captured by anti-TAR insurgents to get out of his commitment to the race. Which amounts to the same thing.
Uchenna/Joyce (downgraded from Cruisin’) - Yes, first place; yes, “ultimate sacrifice”; yes, good team dynamic. But an ugly reoccurance of their tendancy to get lost rears its head again. They’re lucky another team – Lynn and Alex, to be specific – didn’t go for the Fast Forward at the same time. Still, they’re all but guaranteed a spot in the top three, and it’s anyone’s race after that. Joyce’s immediate acceptance of the “ultimate sacrifice” (yeah, not really “ultimate”, but reasonably traumatic) and Uchenna’s support exemplifies her commitment and their relationship – intangibles that count in a grueling race like this.
Cruisin’ with Earl - or, drivin’ on the shoulder, takin’ shortcuts, and generally kickin’ butt.
Rob/Amber (holding steady) - Good work enlisting a hotel manager to show you around the city for a day. That ensured they were comfortably out front of at least a couple teams. I’m not exactly sure why Rob and Amber have a sort of alliance with Ron and Kelly, but at least we know that they’ll have no problem cutting Ron and Kelly loose down the line.
Next week: I’m betting on a NEL.
[sub]Props to Mullinator and his Raj Ratings.[/sub]
Two questions: (1) How do I know an anti-TAR insurgent, so that I can properly arm and defend myself against them? and (2) marry me.
$1000 to the first person to stick a sock in Gretchen’s mouth. An extra fifty if it’s a dirty one.
Romber (Team Red) may have finished only third, but they practically tied for 2nd with Team Blue, and the first place team won on a fast-forward. They’re still the best racers, Team POW being next. And geting married on tv too?? What won’t they sell? Can’t wait to see Amber give birth on tv too. :rolleyes:
Man, I thought Joyce and Uchenna might not win this thing, even with the FF. That woulda been a bitch, heh? They didn’t win anything though?
Agreed. Looking at her, you could tell she’d look just fine with her head shaved, and she does. She’s beautiful, and she might even be more so with the bald head. Uchenna was the ultimate example of how to behave should your wife have to shave her head. Way to go.
As I watched the head shaving, I thought about it–I love my hair. It’s nothing special, but I love it. And I’m certain I have one of those funny-shaped heads that wouldn’t look so hot all pasty and bald. But … I’ve always wondered. If I was presented with a good reason to shave my head, I’d totally do it. And the two of them were so damn cute with their matching do-rags.
I’m kinda sorry to see Lynn and Alex go, if only for the comic relief they offered on occasion. There will be precious little of that from here on in. With Brian and Greg gone too, the best bet for the funny is Rob–who is, admittedly, a funny guy, but not what I want to see.
I cannot believe Team Weeble (awesome name, by the way) is still in it. I’m sick of the screeching and the whining and the wandering around with no idea what they’re doing–but it would be absolutely fantastic if they won.
Ok, as much as I dislike Gretchen and Meredith, I really don’t think that her getting in the elephant was all her fault. When they started the task, a random Indian man pointed up and said “Up Up”, Gretchen, just being the silly person she is, at first questioned and then let strange Indian man put his hands on her booty and shove her up there.
She tried to get down, but I’m sure any attempt of her getting down on her own would have ended in disaster, or at least a broken hip. I don’t blame Meredith either, because as Flutterby noted, he was too busy trying not to die.
Ok, that’s my $.02.
In other news: I want Uchenna and Joyce to win. They deserve it more than any other team here. And I’m going to miss the unambiguously gay duo, they were fun.
PB
As I already said, I’d have a very hard time shaving my head bald. It has taken me years to get my hair to the length that it with regular trims and such to make sure I don’t get horrible split ends and having it thinned so that it’s not too thick. Plus, men seem to do whatever to their hair and within a few months it looks exactly the same as it did pre-shaving. That’s certainly not the case with Joyce. There’s no way she grew that much hair in just a year or so. She’ll be growing her hair back for a very long time, if she doesn’t decide to keep it shorter. For a woman, it’s frightening to make such a drastic change. Yes, I would cry, too. And I might not be able to go through with it.
**Note to future TAR racers: “Good luck” in India means bald heads. **
Unless Rob and Amber or Ron and Kelly really screw up, I don’t see how one of these teams won’t win. I want to see the time stamps of when U & J arrived. It would steam me to use the FF and have to shave my head and end up with like a 20 minute lead. That’s not the reward of the FF. I was afraid with all of that that they were going to end up still not coming in first because of all the time they spent lost. (PTB, please…timestamps at the end of the legs please!) Gretchen and Meredith cannot coast much further on luck. I say that if U & J don’t get lost in the next elim leg, G & M are out.
scottandrsm, I think you are missing Rob and Amber’s skills. I think if they didn’t help Ron and Kelly, it’s likely they would have finished 2nd and Ron and Kelly would have been behind them. Finishing third might generally be considered not the best place this late in the race but consider the two teams ahead of them - U & J used the FF which won’t be available to them in the future. This is also their one and only time at the top of the pile throughout the race. The second place team - Ron and Kelly - who they allied with and potentially helped boost their finish time. Also, Amber’s camel seemed to be more difficult to control than Kelly’s was. Camels are risky animals to use in a race because they are more stubborn than donkeys and much bigger. I don’t think they are easily controlled, which can mean that your team has to be lucky in the draw of the camel.
Did anyone else find Gretchen’s manical laughter during the camel races disturbing? At first I thought she was just being an old bitty when she was laughing at Amber’s trouble. I didn’t particularly love her comments, hoping that Amber’s camel would go all the way back around the track the wrong way. I know it’s a race and you don’t want your opponents to do well, but I am the type of person who wants to win because I did well, not because someone else had bad luck. I smiled when Meredith’s camel did the same thing and her laughter became more screeching whining. (How does one screech and whine AT THE SAME TIME?) Then they cut back to Gretchen and she was lauging again…she just sounded so disturbed.
Question: 2 FFs on the race or 3? I can’t remember how many they said would be available this year.
Never mind, I just saw on the CBS site, there are only 2 fast forwards.
Singular1, I thought Kelly was begging the locals to help Team Weeble because their elephant was blocking the road for her taxi.
Did I see that wrong? Because that POW comment killed the last but of support I had for her. Did you see the look on Ron’s face? Like she punched him in the balls.
No wonder John McCain lost to Bush South Carolina in the primaries. They don’t think much of POWs up there!
Will someone please explain what PTB means?
Also: Joyce looks hot with no hair. Her extensions bothered me.
I know that if Dave and I were in the same position, he would be exactly like Uchenna, but he’d be horrified that his glow-in-the-dark wife wouldn’t have hair to keep her scalp from burning up in the sun in ten minutes. Note to self: Take sunscreen and hats on TAR.
When I went back to put in the phrase “to Bush” in my McCain comment, the hamsters moved it to the wrong place. Screwed up the whole thing.
In fact, let’s just edit that a bit, shall we?
No wonder John McCain lost to Bush in the South Carolina primaries . They don’t think much of POWs up there!
PTB = powers that be (the producers)
watsonwil, no. She was only helping them because they were in her way.
I usually see it as TPTB, but I think it means “Powers That Be.” (The extra T stands for THE).
A solid episode, even though it did start with two very obvious bunching points. Joyce is a goddess to me. Even when Uchenna voiced his concern, she whipped that bandana off, and took it well. They are my favorite team this season by far, and they look like they are having fun while they are racing, and that is always a plus.
Team fossil has to be living with a horseshoe stuck up their rear ends, they are terrible racers, but continue to squeak by. Oh wait, strike that, if Gretchen had a horseshoe stuck anywhere, she would whine about it continually. I was hoping that she would take the dive out of the elephant, and land squarely on her head. no long term damage, just enough to knock her cold so they couldn’t finish.
My wife is a pretty non-violent person, but when she heard what kelly said in the preview, she said “I would’ve just reached over and smacked that b**** if she said that”. i think we are all in agreement. BTW… no Baghdad reference this episode from Ron… what gives?
Holy mother of Og! I gasped so hard when I heard Kelly say that. Between that and the “piece of trash redneck” comment, I think she’s absolutely despicable!
I saw Lynn and Alex on The Early Show this morning before work. I thought they were bitchy during the race and thought maybe they would be a little more humble after seeing themselves on TV, but they were worse. Lynn called Amber “Amberexia” and after being asked which half of Romber was more deceitful in the race, he said that she was too busy trying to lose weight. And Alex said she had no personality. I mean, it’s all stuff we say here, but they looked like total asses on national TV…again.
They said there was only about a 10-15 minute lag between themselves and Team Geritol.
I think your wife and I would get along very well. I told my husband that Ron’s Unofficial Theme Song for the next episode should be Prodigy’s “Smack My Bitch Up.” Because if there was ever anyone on the planet who needed a good swift kick in the ass, it is Miss Kelly. Damn. Ghandi would have punched her in the mouth.
Nuh-uh! Did Alex say anything about how his family responded to him basically coming out on television? Wasn’t Alex the one whose father didn’t know he was gay?
Is his father dense?
double-snerk
Thank you. Now I don’t have to post it…