i’ve been dating an argentinian guy for two months. he seems to object when i use the phrase ‘te quiero’ even though on occasion he will sign notes to me that way. i know literally it would mean ‘i want you’ but that its used in a different way, perhaps a strong ‘i like you’? do you think it’s too much, too little, too formal, too informal? any ideas?
WordReference.com has a thread on this topic.
I want you amd I love you aren’t exactly the !same thing!
Um, no, but the topic is an idiom in a foreign language. While you can translate from one language to another, it’s not accurate to suggest that “te quiero” and “te amo” are precise translations of “I want you” and “I love you”, respectively.
Incidentally, I’ve never heard of people being offended by “te quiero”, so I’m interested to learn if it has some connotation I don’t know about. Lamentably, my knowledge of Spanish is tilted far towards linguistics as opposed to actual colloquial usage.
(Disclaimer: The following explanation is from a poorly remembered discussion with my 9th grade Spanish teacher, ca 1968)
Te quiero is kind of halfway between I want you and I need you.
Te amo is I love you.
Maybe using ‘te quiero’ sounds too, well, risque to the gentleman? I dunno.
There’s always “te adoro” if you want to adore/worship someone.
Have you considered asking him?
I may have to do that but the first time I tried he started to get more annoyed (the annoyance was in a jokey way). I got the impression doing so would ‘ruin a romantic moment’ or something along those lines. I guess it’s like you can ask your bf what he wants for Christmas but it’s better if you can figure it out for yourself.
Except I’ve never heard that “te quiero” has anything of the connotation that “I want you” does in English (after all, the sexual connotation of the English phrase is not inherent in the denotation of the word; that’s an idiomatic expression.) The thread linked to earlier suggests that “te quiero” would be used with one’s parents, which matches with the situations I’ve heard the phrase used. I think it can safely be said that it doesn’t generally have any sort of sexual connotation in that instance. “Te deseo” (‘I desire you’) would be the more natural translation if you want to emphasize sexual desire.
I was hoping for a factual answer, but this may have to devolve into IMHO.
I’m no linguist but my Peruvian significant other melts at te quiero as a form of me saying “I love you”. When I asked her how I’d say it, that was the phrase she gave me despite the more literally correct te amo.
Ok, I e-mailed her quickly to ask her the difference (she works as an interpreter) and she responded with:
To which I of course teased her about giving me the wrong phrase 
Ok, sorry for the triple post but I’m talking to her on the phone and explained the question in more detail. She said not to think that te quiero means anything other than “I love you”, just that it’s a more affectionate style of love than the hot and heavy kind.
She admitted being confused that he would use it and then object to her using it but said that it definately wasn’t just like a cute “love ya!” among friends.
I’ve always used “te quiero” as a form of I love you. It’s what I call my friends and my relatives. Actually, my best friends and I tell each other “te quiero mucho” (I love you a lot). If I’m romantically interested in someone, I would use “te amo”.
Not that “te quiero” is not said among lovers, but it is more affectionate than “te amo”. But you wouldn’t use “te amo” with friends (unless, I dunno, you have a crush on your friend) while you use “te quiero” with them.
Also find it weird that he objects you using it but uses the phrase himself.
Is this along the lines of saying “Querida” as in starting a letter? “Cherished”, rather than loved (romatically)?
BTW, I don’t get the “more affectionate” disucssion above. It sounds like te quiero is less affectionate (ie, more chummy) than te amo.
<mod>
We’re in IMHO territory, I believe.
You can tell me te amo after I move this for you.
</mod>
I mean that te quiero is a way of saying “I love you” with an emphasis on the warm-fuzzy aspects of love rather than the heavy-breathing passionate aspects. For the latter, te amo is more appropriate.
That could very well be. 30 years later plus having a huge crush on the cute, blond Spanish teacher may have affected my recollection somewhat.
So from what I can tell, “querer” is the all-purpose verb for “love,” and “amar” is used for specifically romantic, passionate love. Does that sound right?
In the figuritive sense, but literally querer means “want” in general too. Como, “quiero una perrita para Navidad” (I want a puppy for Christmas) or, of course, “yo quiero taco bell.”
A Peruvian from Kentucky?