I disagree. In addition to what Tzigone posted, teaching your child that you will lie to them repeatedly is not, IMO, a good lesson; that is what is really revealed when they finally learn that there is no Santa Claus.
And what lesson is learned when the school bully shows up with new clothes and a new bicycle “from Santa”?
I find your tone insulting. The interpretation is not “convoluted” when we have songs (built on older story) that specifically say Santa knows who’s naughty and nice and that nice kids get presents and so forth. So if the kid doesn’t get presents, that means the kid is naughty is pretty straightforward interpretation.
If you really think that teaching kids about Santa is wrong because it’ll traumatize them to learn the truth, you really, really need help.
I think I cried for maybe five minutes, and then asked what was for dinner. I wasn’t upset that I was lied to. It was more like, “you mean Santa isn’t REAL??? THat sucks!” Life went on.
You found my post insulting? 
Have to agree. If the myth of Santa Claus is really that traumatizing, we should be able to point out and observe some of the resulting trauma. Okay, where is it?
Whether propagating the myth as truth is right or wrong, the harm it causes is distinctly minimal. Whinging about how wrong it is to lie to one’s children is to make mountains of molehills.
These kids were in first grade. That would make them about six years old. So you know what? They have a whole lifetime to learn that life sucks. They don’t need to know it now. For most of them Christmas is a joyous time of which Santa is a part. It sure as hell isn’t a schoolteacher’s prerogative to destroy a child’s vision of Christmas.
HOW it is handled makes a big difference in how traumatic it is. My husband was pretty devastated–enough that we raised our son to understand Santa was about as real as Batman, and by the time he was in Kindergarten he was very clear about it. And overall, I’ve preferred that approach: it DOES feel like lying, and I don’t like to do that. However, we did make a big deal about not telling OTHER kids.
I feel like a teacher telling you that your parents are liars is a lot more likely to be traumatic than your parents guiding you to figure out the truth on your own.
That said, I’ve known people who believed in Santa until they were like 10, which seemed a little much, and like it would be humiliating when you did figure it out. I have also known families where you have to continue to pretend you believe basically forever, and for some reason that creeps me out. I do think Santa is a little kid game.
White lies and lies of omission are a completely necessary part of a full suite of social skills. They are part and parcel of diplomacy at times and while I’d agree they’re absolutely best avoided if possible, honesty is not always the best policy.
Bluntly honest people often come off as tone-deaf assholes. Generally because they are usually tone-deaf assholes. Knowing when to keep your trap shut or prevaricate when you can’t is part of being a properly social human being.
The leap from Santa stories to teaching kids to lie is an assumption and not a fact. I guess I will do something I dislike. Cite please to back up your claim.
That wasn’t my claim; please read it again.
You can avoid saying that Santa is a lie while also not saying Santa is real. That’s what we did with our kids.
But the real reason not to tell a kid Santa isn’t real is that it is best when they reason it out for themselves. Looking at the evidence, coming to a conclusion which might go against what their friends think, and then finding out from your parents that you are right is just a great learning experience.
So it’s better for now that they believe the classmate that got no presents is unworthy of presents and bad? And possibly say so or act as if it is so?
Note that I did not say teachers should tell kids Santa isn’t real. I said that at it’s worst, the belief in Santa can cause real problems and that it supports a negative conclusion (good kids get presents, bad kids don’t) with potential for real-world negative consequences. That it is not a “harmless white lie” at worst. I stand by that assertion.
about 7 is when I realized by my self santa wasn’t real because no one else in the world had or would want my moms handwriting ……
As an atheist I consider anyone telling their kids that god and the associated dogma of their professed religion is real as much of a lie as Santa Clause.
But I’m pretty sure I’d cause a shitstorm if I told a bunch of first graders this. It’s not really my business to do so and I’d expect to be reprimanded. Same with the Santa Clause business.
There’s nothing PC about this. We don’t agree on much, but we do agree that political correctness involves disadvantaged minorities, and none were involved here.
The teacher was wrong to do this. It is not their job. Whatever your opinion on teaching magical fantasy to children, it is not a teacher’s place to decide for the parents. And a “reprimand” is usually the smallest punishment that can be given, so it makes sense to do that to the teacher, which will probably resolve the issue.
As for the rest, I just don’t really care. Yeah, so teaching kids that bad kids don’t get presents could be a problem–if they ever learn that some kid didn’t get presents. But I will admit that I never learned this as a child, and I don’t know anyone else who ever did. And, anyways, bad kids get coal, not nothing. Getting nothing would be more reason for me to decide that Santa doesn’t exist. Why should the poor kid not get presents, unless the parents are the ones buying them?
When I was a teenager I ran a D&D game where the orcish civilization held this view. The PCs ended up running out of town, one step ahead of the law, smuggling with them an orcish bard sentenced to death for storytelling.
I do wonder how many people declaring Santa tales LIES LIES LIES have interacted with a young child in the past year. Kids–many children–are delirious. They’ll, apropos of nothing, plop down on the floor and be a puppy, race through the house screaming, “I’M SUPERMAN!”, turn a toy coffeepot stuffed with a tissue into a treasured gift. The line between reality and fantasy is very, very blurry for them.
AND THAT IS OKAY.
If it were an adult who suddenly believed they’d transformed into a puppy, there’d be cause for concern. But children use this insane imagination to explore the world, to find basic truths, to create beauty and meaning for themselves. Playing pretend with a child–especially in a way that brings them joy–is not a crime, is not fraud, is ferchrissakes not violence.
That said, if a kid asks seriously whether Santa is real, I’m all about telling them. Kids leave the delirium of childhood at their own pace, and when they’re ready, they’ll ask; there’s no percentage in continuing the pretend game once the child is ready for it to end.
Political correctness means to refrain from speaking something that offends, even if true. Here we have people reacting badly in this story because the teacher said something offensive but true.
No, the job of a teacher is to tell the truth. That’s what education is. If a student’s parents said that the Earth is flat or the Moon landing was hoaxed, should the teacher just let it go by uncorrected?
Yes. You can say that there is a box. And that if you open the box, Santa may be inside. Or he may not be inside.
Almost every day I read lies to my students for twenty minutes or so. I trust that, even though they may forget in the moment that these are lies–even though they may gasp when they hear of a planned murder, or laugh in delight when a dragon sings poorly, or cry when a grandmother dies–they will recognize, in the fullness of time, that the lies I read to them are lies. Moreover, I trust that they’ll understand the value of such lies in revealing deeper truths.
If I were unable to read fiction to my students, my job would be much harder.
Perhaps the difference is that with Santa, the time it takes them to realize the fictional nature of the story is longer?
There sure are a lot of Grinches in this thread.