Centi-penis?
It’s not Wolf, It’s Pat!
I suppose that’s not so bad an accusation as “Micro-penis”, but I kinda resent it anyway. 
BEE-gina, eh? Eventually, in good time, she’ll hear the “Bee healthy, eat your honey!” joke.
Let’s not even mention the Boo Bees. 
Not that it’s any of my business either, but I think that’s wise.
Firstly, because a little mystery adds zest to life, but secondly because there’s the outside chance that Wolf’s got something quantum going on there, and is actually the sexual equivalent of Schrödinger’s Cat. Wolf’s gender may be indeterminate until directly observed, and it would only be once you opened the, um… “box” that you found out whether you were dealing with a live pussy or a stiff.
snicker
Wolf sounds interesting
See now, this is just another reason to dig this place. WhyNot, you make me want to know this person. People here sometimes make me want to KNOW people. It’s a good thing as long as I don’t think about the frustration I’m getting for knowing I will never know the people I find in the stories here.
I’ve just used the word, “know” too many times. I think I’ll take a nap.
OK, I can grok the notion of a person with indeterminate (or even ambiguous, undefined, or quantum uncertain) sexual characteristics, but you know what really confuses me? A conversation between two people named “WhyNot” and “WotNot”. It took me a while to figure out why WhyNot was replying to herself…
I understand this, but I’m not really sure that right now is a good time to mention the exceptions to the “boys have a penis and girls have a vagina” rule. I can sort of imagine being two years old and hearing this and wondering why it was “most” and not “all”, and feeling the need to find out which boys didn’t have penises and which girls didn’t have vaginas, and why that was so.
I must’ve been a handful. 
I would have left it at “Boys have penises. Girls have vaginas. Now, let’s go read A Baby Named X.” That being a fun story about a child raised as androgynous and whose true sex is never revealed.
I see teaching children wrong things as inevitable. First you teach them “No touch stove! Hot!”. Later, when they are old enough you teach them the right way to touch the stove. You teach them division with remainders. Then, you teach them about decimals. Then again, given your social group it does seem you have to teach your children about the exceptions to the gender rules earlier than most.
My friend’s daughter came home from preschool one day and asked her mother “Can boys kiss boys?” My friend, said, “Yes, boys can kiss boys, and girls can kiss boys, and girls can kiss girls, and everyone can kiss everyone.” Her daughter gave her the patented “suspicious” look, which basically is her way of saying “I think you’re full of shit.”
So one night, after putting the kids to bed, my friend and her husband were in the middle of watching Brokeback Mountain. Suddenly, from the dark of the next room, a little voice cries:
“Ah-hah! So boys CAN kiss boys!”
She wasn’t going to believe it until she saw it, apparently. Apparently Mom is trustworthy after all. Didn’t save her from being sent back to bed, though.
We need to get AskNott in here to complete the triumvirate!
Well, yes, that’s it exactly. This also came up literally the same week I’d started communicating pretty intensely with Aunt Joey about her physical journey for the first time, so it was really fresh in my mind. Aunt Joey doesn’t like the term “transgender” at all, and is adamant that she’s always been a woman, and this penis thing was a huge error in assembly. So saying, someday, “Aunt Joey used to be a man and is now a woman,” would hurt someone I care about very much, as well as (possibly?) being inaccurate. Aunt Joey, according to Aunt Joey, was never a man, or even a boy. She was a woman with a birth defect. YMMV as to whether or not you accept this argument, but I’m not in the habit of contradicting my friends on their basic self-identity.
I agree that these things should be talked about on an age appropriate level, and I guess that’s my bemusement with the whole situation. She doesn’t need to know about gender reassignment surgery yet. But if she’s in the bathroom with Aunt Joey sometime, she’s going to be a little confused, and like Ghanima’s friend’s kid, be a bit suspicious of Mama’s information in the future!
“Most” is weak, but it’s what I’ve got, y’know? The only way we’re going to raise a generation who is tolerant of gender deviance is to teach it young, and IMHO, the seeds planted early and unambiguously make a stronger tree than trying to bonzai the branches of the tree of knowledge later.
Wow, that was a clumsy metaphor, huh? 
Sometimes I wonder what they will tell their kids when they get older. “Well, Daddy used to kiss boys but now he only kisses Mommy. And Mommy used to have a girlfriend but now she’s married to Daddy…”
I wonder how these kids of the enlightened future will react. I suspect any notion of your parents having sex with each other or anyone else is inherently gross, no matter what.
That’s about the size of it, yes. Happily, kids can grasp the concept of married/in a couple without having to go into details. (I was aware from infancy that mommy and daddy were married, and was able to remain a virgin birth for quite some time afterwards.)
You’ve obviously never been to San Francisco.
(In all seriousness, I’ve seen numerous androgynous people, including acquaintances about which I had no clue until they or someone else mentioned a gender. It’s not that uncommon 'round here.)
WhyNot, I’ve often wondered how I will deal with similar issues myself, when I have children. I also wonder how I’m going to explain to them not to over-share to their ultra-conservative Southern Baptist grandparents so I don’t get phone calls. (“Did I hear your daughter has an Uncle who’s a woman? Was that the bridesmaid who wore a tuxedo to the wedding?”)
Of course, it’s not even a case of whether Wolf is a woman who used to be a man, a man who used to be a woman, or a man who lives as a woman, etc.
Wolf could also be intersexed, and prefer to avoid the issue of gender altogether because Wolf’s not really sure what gender they are. Especially if Wolf comes from a more liberal background (as it sounds like, eg “drum circle”), where the parents might have deliberately chosen not to try to decide Wolf’s gender for them.
Additionally, it would have the advantage of anyone who Wolf was involved with being romantically interested in Wolf-for-Wolf’s-sake, and not carrying any preconceived notions about what gender they are. This would seem like a pretty smart move for such an individual because it would avoid a lot of potential heartache when the “big moment” arrived.
PS. Given that “they” has been in use as a genderless singular pronoun for centuries (the notion that it’s a new form is a modern misconception; the rigid use of it as strictly a plural form is fairly recent, use of it as a singular goes back to the 15th or 16th century), I don’t really have a problem with it. It sounds kind of wonky because we’re not used to it, but if people just accepted it that would fade away over time.
Yep, probably. When I think on it, I don’t think my parents ever talked about exes (of the traditional genders) until I was in high school and started thumbing through old yearbooks. I found a note to my mother from some guy named Peter and was suddenly floored to realize that my Dad wasn’t her first love. Weird, right? “Oh, yes, he was my boyfriend,” was all she said. No reason it couldn’t have been, “Oh, yes, she was my girlfriend.” If the groundwork has been laid that people love people, and sometimes genders vary, then it wouldn’t need to be addressed any differently for Mom’s ex boyfriends and Mom’s ex girlfriends.
To which my answer might be, “Yes, that’s her! She has the most wonderful biscuit recipe, should I have her send it to you?” That is, it’s not a big deal, EVEN to those who might want to make it into one. It usually takes two parties to create drama, I’ve found. Those who are skilled in making drama alone, I’d rather not have as part of my life anyway, even if they are blood relatives.
I had to figure this out when I started taking my 6 year old to clothing optional festivals. I think we did tell him at first that there was no need to mention it to Great-Grandma, but he could tell Grandma if he wanted to. And then I just called my mother first and gave her a heads up. That way she wasn’t blindsided by potentially erroneous information and he didn’t feel like it was something to be ashamed of. Eventually Great-Grandma got wind of it and did ask me about it, and I just laughed and said, “Yep, he has a great time while we’re camping. It’s amazing how not-sexy naked men are after a few hours, Gram!” and I laughed and changed the subject.
H3Knuckles, those are all possibilities, as well, of course. And thanks for the grammar lesson; I always feel awkward using “they” as a singular. Knowing it has historical precedent makes me feel much better about it.
Brilliant!
That’s what I hear.
If I may… I believe the historical usage was generally limited to indeterminate singular antecedents – “each”, “everyone”, “everybody”, etc. The usage of singular “they” to refer to a specific known individual whose gender is not just unknown but indeterminate seems to be of more recent inception.
Powers &8^]
It would be so nice if everyone taught their kids the proper names of body parts. I have no cite for this, but don’t people find it crass and inappropriate for a small child to say “vagina”? (completely ridiculous) I feel like the real names of body parts have become obscene language. What bothers me the most is the cutesy names for going to the restroom. The worst is definitely “making a sissy”. I had NEVER heard this until babysitting two little boys (ages 2 and 3). When I was little I told my parents “I need to use the restroom.” It sounds so much better than being in public and hearing a kid tell his mom or dad that he/she has to poopie.