So my daughter (2 and a half), as I was changing her diaper, started down that path…
“Mama…Daddy has a penis?”
“Yep, Daddy has a penis.”
“Johnny has a penis?”
“Yep, Johnny has a penis.”
“Scott has a penis?”
“Yes, Scott has a penis.”
“Mama has a penis?”
Er…
“No, I have a vagina.” (Yes, I know this is technically incomplete, but the rest of the kids at play group are unlikely to know “vulva”, so I’ve given in to the peer pressure. And “yoni” just sounds stupid.)
“Mama has a 'agina. Aunt Gina has a penis?”
“No, Aunt Gina has a vagina.”
“Aunt Gina has a ‘agina’. Cai has a penis?” (Cai is what she calls herself.)
“No, you have a vagina. Boys and men have penises and girls and women have vaginas.”
And then I stopped, and thought a second. Aunt Joey has a penis. Uncle Tom was born with a vagina and now has a penis. No one else really knows what Uncle Wolf has under the jeans.
“*Most *boys have a penis and *most *girls have a vagina.” I amended, weakly.
This raising openminded and conscious kids stuff is hard sometimes.
One more reason why I have a huge dopercrush on you. =)
I’m cracking up thinking this is gonna be me in a few years when MrsZer and I get down to being able to afford a baby. (“Y’see, Uncle Trevor likes other boys, and Uncle Gillian has a vagina and is a girl, but likes the title “uncle”, and Uncle Joe and Aunt Sarah are the same person and both have a penis…”)
Uncle Wolf (and I used “Uncle” only 'cause it made the story flow better, IRL we just call Wolf “Wolf”), is the single most androgynous person I’ve ever met. Most people I have some sort of notions about, but not Wolf. Pre-op woman? Post-op male? Neither? Both? I don’t know, I don’t know anyone else who knows and I haven’t asked. But Wolf is kind and funny and sweet and I like Wolf a lot.
I met Wolf at a drum circle - co-ed. Never seen Wolf at the women’s only drum circle, so that might be a clue or it might be scheduling. So far I’ve been able to play the pronoun game and avoid the issue. If it really becomes a problem, I’ll just ask, but Wolf seems a pretty private person. Most androgynes or transgenders that I’ve known will sooner or later mention it in conversation: “…and she said to me, 'Girl!”…" or “I’m just the kind of guy who’d…”, y’know? Not Wolf. So since Wolf hasn’t seen fit to take me into any confidences, and I’m not interested in sleeping with Wolf (well, maybe, but I’m not pursuing…), I figure that neither Wolf’s plumbing or gender is any of my business.
It could also be possible that Wolf identifies as neither male nor female, and feels that Wolf lies in-between, or find Wolf-self to be neutral (just one more reason we need a better neutral-pronoun then just “they.”)
Holy crap I just nearly peed my pants laughing at “Bee-gina.” It makes you want to say it over and over. (Maybe I’m still two years old)
It reminds me of the bee-conditioner I once saw on the side of the road, an old air conditioner with bees making a home in it. We decided someone should manufacture such a unit that spews bees out of it. I picture a Bee-gina to be a similar item… Bees shooting out.
