Tearless Shampoo

The reason why baby shampoos “don’t hurt” (they do, they just don’t blind you" is because they are PH balanced to match the PH level in your eyes.

I do have a cite for this, it is a stack of magazines in my bathroom that is about a foot high.

Surely you jest Shirley !
There are many things that have a neutral pH yet will burn like the dickens if you get them in your eye. Cayenne pepper, concentrated salt solutions, whiskey, SDS (also known as sodium dodecyl sulphate or sodium lauryl sulphate) are just a few examples.
A detergent with a high pH will cause burning, but lowering the pH to ~7 is not enough to create a “tear free” shampoo. The author of your magazine article has misinformed you.
From the MSDS for SDS: